I was never
A poet
Until the night you
Taught me the pain
A word
Can bring and now
These words are my only
Defense
And my sharpest
Knives.
My most deadly
Inflictions
Upon my own
Skin
And tonight I bleed out
For you
These words onto
a page
That you will never see

I fell asleep on my pen
Once remembering your
Hands onto the page became
Too exhausting.
I awoke to see,
Like a vision from
a beautiful dream, you.
You, across from me
With her
And when you had to go
You finally looked at
Me and said goodnight, darling,
With that look in your eyes,
As if this was my fault

Your eyes are blue
In the sunshine,
But not just any blue.
They are the color of
The wildflowers that grow
In the fields we run in
(sometimes. But not anymore)
Except for in the morning,
When I awake next to you
(once, but just friends)
They looked green.
In fact, they were the exact color
Of the leaves outside my window
When I see them through rain spattered
Panes: storm-colored.


Your eyes are grey
In the shadows when you
Laugh and tell me silly things
That mean more to me than
Anything I've ever been taught
(I love you)


Your eyes are blue
Even when you say nothing is better,
Nothing is what you want for us.
Through my tear clouded mind,
Your cold, careless eyes are blue.
And I still love you.