ethereal, if only
tricks learnt from the Lizard King
debutant smile while my world was burning
escape the ashes, run to the ends of the Earth
the Ol' Wild West is your home now
      don't ring me, the phone's ripped off the hook
the face of a stranger, a brother, a friend
burned into my eyelids
haunts my dreamscape; no peace, no end
lip gloss kisses, reminiscing
butterflies gathered atop my rose bush
thunder in the distance, dancing in the kitchen
      won't be long now, shouldn't be long now
everything's falling into place
Jesus knows i've lost my way
but He welcomes me into that Lonely Sea
glimmering nostalgic blue
a place and time from long ago
      before the car crash, before the ******
sirens singing, streamers blown by breeze
green keychain, truck just for me
where am i going, where have i been
the moon shines for You and only You
while the stars all play peek-a-boo
casting an otherworldly glow upon Your face
      maybe it's here, maybe this is the place
i've come undone, my seams unraveled
let bygones be bygones, but how can i remain?
when You're near, i'm in the eye of the storm
a deep aching pain soothed only by Your touch
don't be frightened of my gaze, darling, i'm beaming
      Angel Baby with gilded glow
      forever Yours, You're my home

i wear my diamonds on the daily
doesn't matter where i go
i like to watch the flags a-wavin'
reminds me why he's still not home
and i cook up ultraviolence
dope and glitter on the stove
keepin' it hot for when he gets here
gotta make sure his safe is full

he's a bad boy, on a roll
likes to watch me smoke
while i work the pole
and he's all mine, cherry pie
like to ride shotgun
when it's do or die

he don't do nothing for free but
he's free as one can be
gives his pretty baby everything
that her iced out heart can dream
with his sawed-off in his lap
i know that this is where it ends
and if i die by his sailor hands
i'll make sure to kiss god's rings

dancing hazily as he smokes
lazily, blue-lipped Turkish square;
cherry brighter than his love.
fiendishly palming in the dark;
superstition rules his life like
his favorite little white *** lush.
summer died like his bride in
November; consummation in progress.
angel sent by sunbeams and sugar cane;
siren sent silently from some Caribbean island
beckoning him from across the realm.
headshot, sawed-off, ethereal glow.
vows breathed fearfully as fists rained down.
her name's on the tip of his tongue,
but he's so far gone now his memory's grown
fuzzy, though surely he's not forgotten.
how could he forget his one true love?
the one he risked it all for, fought God for;
his most prized possession, his pin-up
queen found in pieces on the streets
of Paradise Valley just past Wyoming,
glittering just outside the *******.
rhinestones like diamonds decorated her flesh,
black eyes from a man who came and left,
tiger stripe bruises from the ones who
could never love her the way he could.
had he dreamt her? or was she real?
were her tears or her blood real?
****** had bonded their souls and as if
by the grace of God her spirit haunted him
spitefully; her apparition found him frightened
in his hide out in the desert and he knew
he had to settle the score, so he headed east
back to the scene of the crime, back to
the city it all began and he begged her
to let his soul rest as he had not let hers.
his girl, his princesa, his Bonnie, his jewel,
the one he had so shamelessly and brutally
left for dead on the side of the road in fresh snow,
laughed viciously at his fearful pleas and
reminded him of all the life she had missed,
all the innocence lost on a drunken whim
because he had no control over the demon
that made itself a bed in his heart or
the weakness he felt when he saw how broke
her heart was over a man who was anyone
but him; and in an instant he had known what to do,
promising her the world as he destroyed
what good she possessed until she was nothing
more than a cold body in the passenger's seat
of his slate grey beater. he knew he would
never be free from visions of her smiling and
singing 'i love you's as he took her life until he
took his. if there really is a God out there,
he's a cruel master, but so too is a lover who
goes rogue when his love's gone up in flames.

we are the champion kids,
mean starry-eyed gangster babies,
fresh from the trailer park;
soaking up diamanté danger
in glittering pink sequin bikinis
and rhinestone cowboy hats.
sunset swinging boricua gold hips,
robbers dripping virginal deceit as
'nilla ice cream coats fruit punch lips,
sighing softly under neon moonlight
as we stumble through camelot,
drunk off the fumes of the city.

hollywood heavenly stars light up
our flesh and the fake palm trees
at the 76, a true downriver delight.
degenerate beauty queens beaten blue
by cinema kings craving insanity
and perfection in sweet cocaina lines,
selling our souls to weekly devils
for a big shot of treasure trove ***.

chain-smoking cigarettes because he
called me his pretty little gangster baby;
lazily watching him fly through traffic,
i love his rollercoaster disco mind.
falling in and falling out of the world,
floating across the sparkling nebulae
as he waves his pistol and blue paper
in my face, hoping i'll awaken from
dope saturated celluloid dreams.
praying my baby will come back to me
from the crackhouse down the street;
she smiles to the world, but i can see
the tear stains on her golden cheeks.

he’s larger than life,
a caricature of patriotism
in a thompson-esque world
of mania and devilish charm.
one hand on my waist,
the other on his new pistol;
puts me in a trance
watching him smoke cuban missiles.
sirens crying out at sea
won’t lure him into turquoise waves.
swears he’s from the tribe
that calls appalachia home,
but the mountains vehemently refuse;
cherokee roots thatta ways don’t grow.
i wished for his violent affection;
it felt like heaven’s projection,
but when i found a life worth living for
freedom he wasn’t willing to award.
swore he’d buy me the stars and
bestow a nomadic nebula to me,
but only if i sold him my soul
and gave him my castle’s key.
no amount of holy white flames
will devour the fingerprints and dirt
he coated my exquisite flesh in,
but i can paint them to show
the horrors from which i’ll grow.
strangled up in ivy and a kaleidoscopic spin,
breathing my vows while he dips me, achilles,
in that vile city river of sin.

waiting patiently for my resurrection
as flames lick wildly at my flesh
someone once said to me, solemnly,
"through the fire we're born again,"
only in a baptism of holy white serpents,
can i cleanse my skin of your hands

it was my turn i suppose
to be broken down to my atoms,
shattered like cosmic debris in the sickening dark,
as it had once been waylie's or even poor valerie's,
bitten too ravenously to be veiled as love,
too hot to be satiated with your ice cold gun

your threats terrify me because i know your mind
but do you know i'll go down fighting?
an endless barrage of ominous phone calls
or tailing from strange cars
will never break my resilience nor
will the fear of blowback from foreign men

i can still taste the liquor and feel the cold on my skin
from the river by downtown, filled with bodies and vile sins
i can feel you biting my ******* and choking me with your-
you haunt my nightmares, ravaging my thighs
black bruises and torn skin - proof that i'm not dreaming
dreams you killed us both wake me up screaming

you were the final straw, the match
as my world went up in flames
but i will bloom again from the ashes
i am stronger than they all say