I love rainbows and unicorns.

Light travels at
Three hundred million meters per second.
If I turned into a photon tonight
And flew away for nine or ten years,
I might escape the memories of you.

People look at me and call me all these names
Boys ******* use me and play all these games

I feel so alone, I can't take it anymore
I can't stand being called an ugly ******* *****

I go home and cry my eyes out
I don't know what to say, so I scream and shout

Walk into my room and open up a box
In there, are some treasures, and a few couple rocks

I dig a little deeper till I find what I'm looking for
It's the blade that wounds the thing deep inside my core

I take it out and stare at it for a while
I have so many reasons, they stretch out for a couple miles

I take my blade, walk to the bathroom, and lock the door
I look at myself in the mirror, and I am sure

What I am doing is of my own hand
These marks will leave their very own special brand

I hold the blade over my wrist
And when I bring it down, I feel pain and then bliss

The warm blood starts to trickle down
If anyone found out, they would do more than frown

I attack my wrist so vigorously
Scarring myself to **** the thing inside of me

Each and every time,  the feeling becomes addictive
For each cut becomes distinctive

This one is for the girl who told me I was full of crap
And this one is for the boy who called me fat

They didn't think I would take it to the heart
But actually, I am tearing myself apart

I do it once, twice, three dozen more times
I throw my ****** blade down and begin to cry

Why did I do this?
Even though I felt pain, I felt so much bliss

My troubles went away with each slice
The blood ran thicker down my arm, Jesus Christ

I start to sob and bury my head in my arms
When I look up, I feel the blood on my face, so warm

I get up and start to clean myself
I grab the towels that are on the shelf

After I see that there is no more blood
I go to my room and my emotions begin to flood

I lay in bed, hiding the scars buried deep in my wrist
I think about the hate, and my eyes begin to mist

The front door opens, and my mother come inside
She comes in my room, noticing that I have recently cried

She asks me what is wrong
I tell her in this world I don't belong

She sees my wrist and puts her hand up to her face
Oh, Allison, you belong here in this place

Please promise me you won't cut yourself ever again
One day you will hit a major vein

No one wants to lose you, your precious smile
The question is, do you want to stay with us for a little while?

We all have our own monsters
whose daytime face is calm.
Who’s so serene,
as if a dream,
reality’s glare; stark.

We learn to live beside them.
Raise no undue alarm.
Work as a team,
within the scheme
of boundaries left unmarked.

In the compromise, our loss
unnoticed in the park.
But know the thing
that waits for you
Sits grinning in the dark.

Its yellow eyes gleam madness.
Its teeth are long and sharp.
It is a slice –
your own device –
come calling you to hark.

And when the long day’s over
You stumble through your door
It wants you as
***** donor
to silence its deep roar.

So keep on compromising.
Pat it upon its head.
Be safe by day –
beware at night
Until it goes away

Don’t hold your breath, awaiting
release of terror’s spark.
Just know the thing
that waits for you
Sits grinning in the dark.

Lin Cava©

Jaywalk with me
On the search of
what we are and
what we need.
We will travel to
Rosy gardens and
Religious mountains.
Lost will feel right
With you.