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 Feb 12
Repentant
Leaf  of the trees
Rounding the apples
Under the rain
Sound of the battles
Rain on the umbrella
Pain for the gain
I see beauty
In all this wretched game
In the liars game
The only way to win
Is to trust them fully
And be stupid as you can be
The only way to win
Is to lose all the rights
To win what's left
Those written on the walls
Drawing a paint
Painting a draw
Are we playing still
Or are we back to life
 Feb 12
Repentant
In the begining of time
On the walls with a painted red
There was a lustful naughty boy
Lost in the time and space
In the jungle of earth
With in the garden of Eden
There were hell to watch like pain
Painted on the body of the men
In the future we will see
The end of an old pal in the sentence
I will not be around you
He shout silently in bain
 Feb 12
Repentant
Beauty of life is with in the texture
The sense of a pain within the mixture
The cries that I lost in my smiles
The experiments that I have done with my life
All my 20s I was looking for an answer
Which I understood was in my head banging like a danger
I know the blessing of a curse and the beauty of the pain
The Islamic review of the daoist in the shame
The *** of the ****** and the addiction to romance
I never ***** anyone but it seems to everyone like that
I didn't know the facts, I was blinded by the pain
And as it seems, no body even cares
All the people I knew looked at me like a beast
Looked at me like a crazy person with a risk
I left everyone not be their curse
They were pushing me to pain to push me wide awake
I have been taught the hard lesson within the hardest way of life
What will be coming next can be even lost
The highway that I'm in or the high way that I might
I'm knocking on heaven's door, will I ever belong?
 Feb 12
Repentant
Oh lord
Forgive me for I have sinned
Like Adam and Eve
I am the snake in the garden
Oh lord
Will you forgive me for I have sinned?
Like Eve and Adam
I am the apple in Eden
Oh lord
I have sinned to be forgiven
Like Adam, Like Eve
All I knew was that you told me
To come back to you even if I have sinned
I have tasted hell for years
I am going to be there for years
Oh lord
Forgive me for I have sinned
And forgive the people who betrayed me
Forgive the traitors in my past
and the betrayals in my mind
Oh lord
Will you forgive me for I have sinned?
Like Abel, Like Cain
or will I be your lucifer
Lost in hell forever
lost touch to the rope
Like the son of Noah
For I have sinned?
Mental health issues can lead to differential in understanding of the world and they may create a crack in your skull so wide that you can't fit it with anything but forgetting. It's hard to catch your abilities out of those memories. stay safe and sound.
 Feb 12
Repentant
Born in religious family
You heard it right, like every good story
Turned my back onto everything that I know
To just understand the whole side of the story
Every once in a while there was a backlash and a life
Every once a while there was a genuine smile
Every once a while I saw some one succeed
I don't deserve it all, or I can't have it right
Then came all kinds of addictions
Habits like living in hell is the fiction
Then came all the bugs around the sugar
And the apple rot inside with a worm eating its tail
Then I lost the loved ones and I let go of the friends
I saw the torturers and I saw being tortured
I saw the sinful act of acting like everything's ok
Ok as you heard it right
It's a miracle to be alive at this stage
Then I found the god, the one and true only
The existence that keeps me awake, the best almighty
Taking baby steps but I am still walking
Running is not a choice, blood circulation maybe stopping
One side of my body is going lose and lose and lose
Engineered to win at a lengthy process of living the abuse
The devil on my back and the light in front
I'm not running away, I'm taking it along
Hey dear devil, can you hear the steps?
I'm pushing you to heaven, I'm pushing us all away
The funny thing is I never got scared
Like a funny game of sadomasochistic shame
The reason was easy, I trusted their eyes
They are all good people, they are just doing their jobs
I am just lost, in the never land
I'm not Peter pan, I am just a man
As you heard it right, I was born and raised
In the middle east, under Islamic Reign
I will not be lost, I will not be dead
The story never ends if it shouldn't end
Fully grown, with no hair and all beard
I am now a man, lost in time and space
Found by the god, on the corner of the house
I shall forgive them all, and I shall be forgiven
Let the story be on the good side of the hope
For god is truly, bigger than you hope
#mentalhealth #depression #suicide
 Feb 12
Repentant
No pain
No gain
My whole life is a joke
Like a controller in the world
I am not in the sense
Though life is a mess
I am playing the death
But I have a god in a sense
Genie in a bottle and
Death at the end of the sentence
 Feb 12
Repentant
Because I am a robot
I just follow the carrot
All I see as donkey
Is the face behind the parrot
It better be the dumbest
Than be the smartest in the world
If I can't go up the ladder
I better stay indoors
Because you are a human
You just use me for satisfaction
You see me as a potato
With holes to drill in the head
Two is not enough so more
You remove the eyes and the latter
To me you are just a tor
I have peeled your faces off the hatter
And what a beautiful soul you have
Behind all those sins you were hiding in
Behind all the fake mentorships
Behind all the action hits
We are only angels
Devil's born inside
The devil is in the details
Thanks to god above
Each sin is a torment on the soul, necessary to be accepted but beholden, taught but explained, for life is a hard place, if you want to stay alienated.
For the good may seem bad and the bad may seem good to the eyes that can't get past the hardship of the truth, stay safe, sane and sinless. Other wise, repent.
 Feb 12
Repentant
I was young and afraid
Of the love I never understood
Of the distance between us
Between men and women were a feud
I got older and got betrayed
By the people on the internet
I got older and got *****
Called ****** for all it's sake
Like I had to know that by then
And yes, other people knew that by then
I got older and the cycle didn't stop
I was trying to understand what it was
I was not allowed to love but allowed to breath
Till I found the love of the god above the myth
The secrets that we be hold for our sins
The smiles that I shared with everyone
The charity of a little more hope for tomorrow
The love that we shared with humankind
Oh I hate all the bad that I was
The cause and effect that I had to suffer
But stupidity is hard to recognize
When they call you a ****** while you are *****
Psychosis and bipolar can lead to major misunderstanding of the fabric of reality and connecting the dots. As kids, we learn to escape the reality of life to be kept safe but the truth will always shows it self, the truth of life is very dark, yet we are all trying to be better. Even I accept, that the justice has to be served, and at the time, it wasn't defined properly or there was no better way, I am just happy and thankful that I got the best community on earth to help me get through it, even though I am avoiding all of them because I don't want to share my pain with them, at least, art, gives a shield that I can hold but the best partner is god itself.
Thank to all of the people that were by my side even though I couldn't be more to them.
 Feb 12
Repentant
In the region of the doomed
The regain of the loop
The death of the love
And the love of the maze
The man is standing
Like a shoe on the lace
Thus shall be the fear
Thus shall be the shame
Where ration of the man
Comes from the gain
The ration of the man
The pain of the emotion
It's filled with a faint
Faith in the religion
The feeling of the woman
The one who bites the apple
The tree of the science
And the repent of the snake
It's all easy, to understand the way
The cognitive dissonance
Of the emotional state
Man feels in religion
Woman rations in the same
They both feel it likely
Like the two side of the brains
Becoming conscious is not something newly built or created, it has been there and it will always be there forever, it's wrong that we think of religion as means of control, rather, they are stories, and the best part of the story is how you can re read it a thousand times and understand that you are not the main character, the worst character or the character with no dialogue. You are just there, and when you mistaken it, it's hard to get it back. But believe me, one way or the other, you will meet your ends connected to the rope of Allah.
 Feb 12
Repentant
They kept digging a hole to bury me in
The answer was
Believing that there is a fair god
A bit more fair than you
A bit different
A little bit further and better
Does exist
As foretold
As prophecies
They know
And they can't believe
That I believed
And they couldn't just understand it
 Feb 12
Repentant
Yesterday is gone
Yes, Sir, days are gone
Hours programmed by you
Based on kindness, my last hope
Look what you made me do
Look what I chose to be
Oh you did educate me
Sorry I'm hard to read
It must be a misunderstanding
That we are fighting over this
I agree but Mr.officer
Do you think will you ever be?
Keep yourself together son
Your actions are repent less
Your behaviours were bad
You could be stolen or murdered
I agree sir, I do agree
I could be beautiful as I could be
I could be given a chance to be a part of you
But not with the name tag you put on me
I believe we worked well together
I was chasing you as you were chasing me
Whose fault is it for all the dominoes
That has been broken in between
I agree son, I agree
But we can never let you go
Oh I never want to be free
It's not you who pulls the strings
I'm sure you can waste my time
Double the time I want to waste
You can hurt me twice as bad
As I want to hurt myself
But believe me I know no better way
To be a hard working man like my father
I wish you could release him
I wish I could be like him
I agree son, just do your best
Try your best from tomorrow
But sir, what about all the days that I lost
Dear son to us, it's all just a day
I agree sir, I agree
Tell god that I'm coming
I have no more any body parts
No limbs or no bodies
But I still have a mind
Still have an eye for the good
I may not be the best
But I can bring on the worst
I wish you can help me use it
Use all my devilish power
All the science, the stacked knowledge
To help your own children
But son, don't you want to have a child?
Sorry sir, I don't have any more wish or desire
You forgot but the whole point for me
Was that I was doing good without being admired
Now that I know you knew
Now that I know you gathered
I think I have had some help
It doesn't feel as good as god would've wanted
Sorry sir, I just want this earth
To be a better place for my mama
For my dear dad in fliers
For them to see happiness in each other
What's this body to you I don't care
I never cared about earthlings
I believe in the afterlife
Do you believe in such things?
Anyway, let's get it out of the way
The nights are going to be crazy
I love you all, I can't call you evil
Believe me I trust my instincts
Even though they all can be people
From prison, murderers or the thieves
For me they had a beautiful soul
And there is always a good reason in the mist
I wish, I was a good soul to you
I wish, I could trust you more
I know I can trust you to back me up
Against this ****** up world
Just let me go now, let me have the leap of faith
I have seen the angel of death
And I think I should do something instead
I want you to look closely
To look closely at every footsteps
Cause you will see a path
Filled with glory and death of the despair
Tomorrow starts today
The date of the Mohammad(SAW)
Peace shall be upon him
And his beloved family at hands
We will be everlasting
My tormentors as well
Call it Stockholm syndrome
But I have been taught by Hafiz
I know the consequences
I have accepted the risks
I wanted all to be happy
I just didn't have what it needs
Now that I got another chance
Like a thousand times before
I think I am not gonna mess this up
Because there is nothing left to mess like before
If you missed a spot
On my soul or on my body
Let me remind you of something
That's for the death to push it around me
Nice son you learned your lesson
You are one of us now
What will be your last wish?
Say thanks to everybody in the crowd
Mental health conditions should be taken seriously and the educational system can be more helpful instead of prison systems. It's better to prevent than to punish, cause who ever we are punishing, it's actually us, that are at a loss. Wish for a better more peaceful world, but don't be surprised, there is always a devil that should be ignored for the better or worse, and it's people's choice to follow Allah or the devil. We can only be the messengers, the scientists and the loved ones.
 Feb 12
Repentant
The short shorts that you wore before the scene
Showed me the truth
Life is short
And if you believe me
You are a liar and a perv
Is there a pervert in everyone?
 Feb 12
Repentant
The man in the digital world
May lose sight of the labour works
May lose sight of the Iman
He may not be able
To see the lawful presence of her wife
He may think oh it's just a like
Oh it's just a message
The man in the digital world
May think everything is just suppose to happen
The man in the digital world
May can't understand the why
He may lose sight in truth
He may trust all the lies
The man in the digital world
May lose everything he loves
To gain the sight of Osiris
You should first lose an eye
The man in the digital world
May lose love in his heart
Blessed whomever I have hurt
Forgive me if I have hurt you with my ineffective lies
I thought I was telling the truth
I thought there was a chance to win
I didn't know I was planned to lose
To gain the knowledge of the world we live
You may think I am a genius
Who spent his life in lies
I beg the differ and forgiveness
My pictures should be stamped as fools in your eyes
Bless every person that has been a part of my life and tried to help me understand and didn't know what was actually happening in my mind. One day, we shall all see, we all shall see Infront of the god.for that day, forgive me and bless me on my path to hell, shall I be burned a decade less or a century more, I wish you all just the heaven.
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