No remorse.
This lack of guilt. This lack of regret.
I’ve seen it before. That same look in her eyes.
She will leave me again and I will ask for more.

I don’t know if I’m a glutton for her punishment
or just pavlovian to the pain,
because I still find comfort in all of her beauty
and even in the ugliness she left when she went away.

But I’ve grown tired of her ghost,
and how it rings in our past with the shake of relentless chains,
haunting the space between who I wish to be and who I am today.
I can’t be with her and for the life of me,
I just can’t seem to push her away,
So I resign, lonely in love and hopeful upon this road
that she’ll relieve me of her ghost somewhere along the way

I stayed for love then I left to live,
with few regrets and no ***** to give.
I buried you in my head to survive
but you’re not that easy to forget.
Why do you have to be the one part of me
that just won’t stay dead?
I loved you but it wasn’t enough.
And I’ve mourned you now more than long enough,
but still I bear the scars of your torment
and the cavern your hollow romance carved into my chest.
For every word of kindness, there’s a thousand doused in hate
and I promise to ignite them, if only you set the date.
Bring your pity, bring your caution,
bring whatever makes you feel safe,
but if it’s forgiveness that you’re after,
then I’m afraid you’re too late.

It’s **** or be killed and I found out the hard way. Now I embrace the future with both of my fists clenched. Years spent in sorrow have hastened the death of all good things inside of me and though I made it out alive, I’m still trying to convince these ghosts to leave. Teeth bared. Steady hands. Taking aim. Shots fired. Blow them all away.