You lose a job
the lover you tied your life with drifts elsewhere
the place you grew root seems not home anymore
the days are vacuous and nights a crawler
your head echoes with the deafening groan

I deserve no love, even from me.

Surely it’s the worst portrait you drew of yourself
and an erroneous one.

The job was filling your purse but emptying your purpose
the lover was no fairy but a fair weather friend
the home was only a harbor you anchored before sail.

There’s a world at your doorstep begging your attention
withering without your love.

Pick up and hold them to your breast
see how quickly unburdens your chest
your spirits soar.

From thence you would never cease
to love yourself from the core!

When I asked him how old was he
Giving a mischievous wink
Said won’t tell you straightly
But in a riddle to think!

If you add up the digits of that year
Multiply it by three
You would be almost there
But not there exactly!

Three more to it you’ve to add
And that’s my age no doubt
You would make me really glad
If can figure that out!

The two digits that make my age
Have a difference of one
You’ve enough clues to the maze
To work out my age with fun!

The digits added is short of ten
But from one too far
Would you now take the pain
To make my age clear?

I should converse more with my son
stop him recede wider from me
should lose no time to hold him strong
we haven’t exchanged much recently.

Our morning tea must find me a way
to draw him to talk and look at my eyes
seize I must some time every day
so I succeed after a few failed tries.

Our dinner shouldn’t pass silently dull
but spiced with jokes and diary of the day
must break laughter the hardening lull
and ensure on the table a longer stay.

I should converse more with my son
grab all the time could be together
days are shorter and crying to be gone
but the bond we leave must be worth a treasure.

You answered with a synapse
Startling my resolve with unrest
As I felt the change in the make-up of our ties
To each other. We'd built our nest
With texts and forgotten half-smiles -
Layered them with shadows unkempt
Leaking from our darkest sides.
It was an approximation to love, an attempt
By unwilling donors with unhurt prides,
To win the privilege of touch
Without losing sight of the lines.
Gossip didn't bother us much
We'd focus instead on the sighs,
Beats for our particular choreography.
But you've cut short our supply
With this silence, and now, awkwardly,
We fumble words, waiting for each other's turn.
In synapses like these, I ask myself what are we
When the memory of your skin still burns
And I miss your shadow on me.

Sitting in the sun alone
not feeling the same warmth
you give me when you wrap
me up in your arms. Should
i blame the universe today for
not making me see you on this
lonely sad Saturday. If the people heard me would they call me
insane ? The winds ruffle through
my hair but i shut my eyes and imagine you there. Imagine your fingers running through the silky strings of it telling me how smooth
it feels on your hands. As i watch
you sniff it the way you sniff the perfume from my skin. Sitting in
the sun is not as fun as when your around. Swinging our feet from
the hazel nut brown bench. Drowning in giggles and words of love.
Blushing the way flowers do when they look at you. Oh darling if only you knew how i miss you on this
sad blue Saturday* ~

Into the darkness I bellow words of love and life.

Beyond the reach of your ears I howl in pain at your rejection.

Into the abyss I have thrown myself, determine to explore its depths.

The fear is there in the background, chattering endlessly about the fruitlessness and futility of my quest.

But I will find you again, I will hold your hand, I will warm your soul with my own.

I will quench the fire that Sears you from within and replace the emptiness with the light of love.

To you trust, hope, faith, and finally, peace will be gifted.

In my embrace you will find rest and I will lovingly hold you with tenderness, wipe away you last tears, and spread a smile on your lips with kisses of heaven's love upon your brow.

In this world of chaos and destruction, we are the messengers, the givers, the servants. We carry God's love for you and deliver it daily.  If only you will stop and open your eyes to us as we stand before you with our arms outstretched.

Come let me give you what is yours to have.

I am in love with loving again
of foolishly running in the pouring rain
of a wanting, aching need
to watch the seed of our love grow
Oh how I need you to know
that with only you
can my every dream come true
can the stars in your skies
twinkle bright in my eyes
and the smiles from your lips
become my every sunrise
Only with you
can I fall in love with loving again
in your hands only
I can run in the pouring rain
With you, I can nurture this need
to make the seeds of our love
grow once again

Going down in a violent flame,
Hindenburg is this loves name,
Everything finally seemed so right,
Lying together in love every night,
Dancing in the heavens in the sun,
The blossoming of true love had finally begun,
Aloft and reaching cruising hight,
Everything about you seemed so right,
Then in a flash the burning had ensued,
My boundless trust became subdued,
Volatile clouds choked the life from me,
I lost sight of the horizon and all that would be,
The final moments if destruction looming,
The rose of our love was artificially booming,
Consumed by the fire you lit with one match,
I must let go and not let my heart attach,
For now I through scorched eyes,
Everything you pledged were glaring lies,
And now in my final moments I'm falling,
Crashing and burning, death comes, heaven is calling.

I know I told you that I just
Wanted to be friends
But..
I want to be more than that
I want you to think of me
Like I think of you at 4 am
Smile at a simple one worded text
That makes the day go by so much better
I want you to look at me
The way you look at her
Noticing the little things I do
That I don't even notice about myself
But mostly I want you to love me
Like I love you and you love her
Look at me and smile
Kissing me at random times
I want to say I love you
And not hide in your shadow
Because I do love you
I just wanted you to know
e.j.