i am a tea cup

I am a tea cup 
Round with a handle 
i am a handful 
tea too hot 
i live in a hotel 
the room a river 
things come and go
but i always stay 

i... am.... grey.
a tea cup who is rain 
and wind and leaves
leaves blow past you soaked in tea
technically... im not a tea cup 
but pretending is okay 

My plate is ugly 
im not clean 
people don't lift their pinky when they hold me

the message is seen
black all over me
inside of me 
T... E.... A...

it makes me shake violently 
im violet can't they see
My face isn't a face
but an opening 
my body not a body 
but a handle 

carry me
an ocean full of tea
Leaves from a tree
lined up delicately 

Wooden tea cups
A collection for the 
take me
drink me
break me
but do not set me free

"Good night"
Teasing words
You know,
the night is no longer good to me
And I am no longer good to me
When the sun retires early
I follow
These days
Sparkles of frost step in for dew
Sharper
Reaching for the edge of my fingers
My toes
My thoughts
Become one in degrees
With the dark
The cold
Takes siege
And my metals
Are more brittle
Condensed
Prone to a snap
Awaiting
A warmer expansion

Knowing there is a piece of you
always thinking of what could've been,
makes me feel this strange jealousy...
and I hate it.

Every coulee, thirsting, gladly drinks,
Every basin and every sleepless hollow;
Where duly each charitable droplet sinks,
Whither hasten the novel spring follow.

Yet it goes, unfolding as a tempo mosies
Shoots will shiver open their split edges,
To strip, unclothe their budding posies,
In the timber, the garden, and hedges;

Weaved is a grove of anchored love
A Finch or Sparrow to meet another,
A nest, a cloak, a marquee high above
A den for father, hatchlings & mother.

I remember being in elementary,(a)
I was constantly bored with the(b)
Drivel. Learn what they teach,(b)
Never mind differences, Jamie;(a)
                  

  Just memorise the drill.

           I remember the Spelling Bee,(c)
          They were impressed by me.(c)

They thought it strange to go(d)
So well, since I slept or wrote(d)
Thru ev'ry class; never to note.(d)

"How in the Hell is it that you won(e)
At Spelling, I was State Champion(e)
At my old school!??! Teach said you(f)
Do your thing; you haven't a clue;(f)
               I came in 2nd to you?!!?"(f)

I said, "It takes a simple mind to learn(g)
Simply, therefore you were not beaten(h)
By me: but rather by Arrogance, Hern."(g)


    What does that  mean,  asked  she.

Ihopeby now Hern has figured how
  A writer obsessed in each class, Recess,
At Lunch, on the Cheese Wagon a bunch,
Won Spelling Bees -Still stuck on studies.

The day she died a part of me died also

The distance may be far right now,
but the marks on her heart remain
and she longs for the day
they will be together again.

Reality
       Becomes it
Sooner
In a rush of sudden in a    heart-skip-inhalation
It lacks the grace you've graced me so gracefully with.
I'll say graciously.
It comes thundering in
Slamming doors
                                       Shut
Slamming hearts
Thundering in, and then it forgets why it came in the first place
              Why the **** did it come in the first place
Just to rush on home
            Where time lies naked   enfolded
In my aching

I can't bear it
       The thought of it
I can't bear it
The suddeness, the sadness
Your strength refuses to man the lighthouse
I can't bear it
Your face.
It's everything.
You.
You're everything.            Everything.
Everything.

And I'll whisper this
Quieter than all the silences between us
            That I regret
I'd cry to you a million cloudbreaks
If it flooded out those
            Don't let me be
Pleading, not now, when I lie
         Claim I want it most
I want nothing more than
Everything
To hear these sad songs form the
Background
Of something else
Something small like
       My heart
My heart in your hands
Hold on for dear life
Forever
No, now. Now more than ever.

Happiness is a strange tale
It paints itself in blue
Bluer than your eyes in the half-light and my heart when you whisper,
Wait I'm lying,
Bluer than my heart in your tears
    or my mind when you say
Nothing
Something

And it heaps up inside me
Piles of piles in piles on piles
Pilling up
The dread I so
Time again
Feverishly denied

I'm ******* afraid
            Of this
And 54 days from now
Then two days from one year
I can't see myself able to
             Cope
I'm madly in love
I'm ******* afraid

I need you more than this
I love you more than
This

Oh what a day
Is it yet May
Two decades and a few years ago I was born
Now a man; all grown

He's her sickness, with him she's unwell
She's his drug, without her life's hell
He's her nightmare, with him she's frightened
She's his sweetest dreams, without her he's burdened
He's her despair, with him she's grieved
She's his hope, with her he's fulfilled
He's her failure
She's his success

that sudden heartbeat.
that touch that tickled my mind.
that voice that made me believe i spoke to an angel.
that beauty that made me see the first woman in my life.
that smile that gave me strength.
that gorgeous being that made me understand biology.
those lips that made me yearn for sunshine.
those eyes that made me run for shelter.
the heat and warmth that i felt when you were near.
the feel of love.

dating a writer
is like guessing the weather.
you think you know what you'll get,
but you never do.

you never know
because

she'll create a hero
from your weaknesses

and she'll write a great character,
from every last flaw.

she'll create a thousand plots  
from your worst nightmares.

she'll take every last thing you hate
and create something you'll love.

she'll turn your anger
into confessions of adoration,

and she'll make you,
everything you're not.

but worst of all,
she'll leave you wondering-
is it you she's in love with,
or things she's created from you?

but here's the beauty of it:

if you date a writer,
you'll never die.