Go ahead pilgrim,
go ahead,
make love
to the horse
I rode in on.
You will like the way she bucks,
how her stained saddle rides,
the feel of her flesh
against your taut thighs.

I will never forget
our crossing near El Paso.
Or the time
she reared up
in Amarillo.
Tucson sure fascinated
them bandits
chasing us
for gold.

We rode like demons
constantly
through the desert,
tracing
the tail of the moon
on petroglyphs.

And she knows,
she knows deep inside
her wholesome *****,
she will never forget,
she will never forget
her lonesome rider.

This wearied lonesome rider
has finally,
has finally come home.

the one I got never to see
the one wiped out silently
yet the most precious

what could you have been child
killed as the fetus!

the one that was never born
whose smiles walls didn’t adorn
yet the most precious

what could you have been child
killed as the fetus!

the one never known to me
the one that was never to be
yet the most precious

what could you have been child
killed as the fetus!

the one my own broken piece
the one I would ever miss
and the most precious

what could you have been child
killed as the fetus!

I did my duty, I went to war
Now to see her face, I ask no more

True love is her heart to be
How I wish life was battle free
Even as I fight, the years go by

Lessons to learn to ****, but why?
If only we could find some peace
Now my life would find a release
Each second takes me away from her

Oh, how I wish we could be together
Freedom should be fought for the better

Far away, I settle down to read her letter
If only I had never enlisted in this war
Reaching now, in tears, on a distant shore
Ends in tormented pain as she leaves me

Sitting silently,
He sits and stares at his phone,
Shifting slightly,
He doesn't look up from his phone,
Coughing quietly,
He ignores me and looks at his phone,
A little louder,
He stays there slowly reading his phone,
Groaning with the pain,
He still remains there silently checking his phone,
Starting to bleed,
He raises an eyebrow at the screen of his phone that he studies so intently.
Feeling faint,
He sighs and looks at the clock before looking back down at the obviously intriguing phone in his hand.
Skin pale, vision blurred,
He chuckles to himself and takes a sip from the half-empty cup of tea at his side and scrolls with a single finger on the screen of his phone.
My voice is weak as I call out,
"Dad..."
For the last time the blade glides over my wrist.
He stares at his phone.

I don't know whether to
love it
or hate it

- that brief lull
at 2:33 AM

no birds twittering around

engines still approaching
too far to be heard

the buzz of electronics
nonexistent


except for the ticking of the clock


the slow drumming driving me crazy



I think I can hear the roar of a thousand regrets in my ears

my head resounds with ghosts




.

When the dust swirls in the March wind
the forlorn noon is thick with flames of the forest
and the meadow sighs in gold yellow sun

my eyes seek Krishna in that aching void.

She grazed the cows from morn till twilight
and though eldest among the siblings
she was schooled only in the blazing days
learning to pull her herd to greener pasture
venturing into marshes none would dare tread.

Not one groom could be found for her
bypassed she was for her fairer sisters
that went to school grew up were married
and ushered new inmates to the world.

Then a few summers past
when I had almost forgotten her
I saw her forehead smeared with vermilion.

But why she had to come back
playing once again the shepherd girl
gathering them for home at dusk
crooning aaaaaa….oooooo…..

I don’t know if Krishna went back to her husband
for after a few days she wasn’t seen again.

Only the winds howled in the forlorn noon
and the little shepherd girls who came after her
whispered she had at the in-laws
hung herself from a tree.

I looked out the window
and there is nothing left
all the snow is gone
it just melted in the pouring rain

The birds are singing
but the sky is gray
it reminds me of you
where were you yesterday?

Now there is silence in our home
We are one toothbrush short
and your belongings in the hall
make me feel cold with heater on

In midst of this chaos
a miracle occurs
my drowsy eyes make me see
last snowflake of this year

I won't forget the day we met
when you bring me dandelions
His words to me as we held hands
set upon me as I'm crying
I don't remember the exact moment
except a gal bought flowers to her man
dandelions from a distant field
meant you were at least trying, and I understand

then he slept for a while

On a summers afternoon
when we went for soda
you took hold of my hand
when we passed her
and you whispered to me
that you and her were over...

He sighed and said

I remember, it was the day
you showed up, dandelions
clutched in hand
Instantly my soul fell
into your embrace
but I understand...

and he slept for a while

she came back another time
four times, six, ten, a lifetime
forever just to remind him
without him she was nothing

Remember our babies born
raised with the essence of you
Remember how we made them
she blushed
Lucidity, for her, made the memory true

He lay with a beating heart
a blank slate, and a woman
who held his hand
He stared at unfamiliar walls
struggling to understand
how realities became memories
how the beautiful woman
touching his face
could make him feel so blue
as he reaches for a bouquet of
dandelions
that weren't even there, he asks
Who are you?

Last night,
I dreamt of you.
For the first time,
It was so real...
You were there to comfort me,
As we just lay in bed,
Watching tv
Kissing,
Snuggling,
healing.

When I woke up,
You weren't there,
And reality ran me over with a truck,
And I realized it will only be
*just a dream.

I just want to be held,
feel my breath escape me,
the earth tremble,
and my soul melt
inside
of your universe.