I try and try
to change my
inevitable doom;
but it's all
for naught.

I try and try
to keep loving,
but the passion
soon leaves and
I'm left loveless.

I try, I swear, I try,
to hold onto my love,
but soon I find myself
growing bored of them.

I've gone through a lot
of them: the good, the sweet,
the bad, the funny, the shy,
the smart - many!

But soon I find myself
growing so, so bored
of them. I never cheat,
never flirt, never do
anything bad that could
break the relationship.

But then there's the catch -
be the good girl, but in return,
become unloving; never
fall in love, no matter how
hard you try to love.

I try, I honestly do,
but when I'm in a
relationship, a month or
so later, I find myself
bored and frustrated with
the poor victim.

I'm just a heartbreaker who
kills her victims on the inside.

I don't mean to, but I do.

I just can't love.

Why,

Why am I so loveless?

~~
I am not writing any poetry
Not a huff,
Not even a romantic mood,
I talked to a distress

Unto thee of say my friend:

The suffering of pain is more than a pain
Words of distress
No longer I can't say either

The story of that night
That is longer than a long night
That night, my love had died before the dawn

How do I tell thee

The suffering of love is unforgettable
Than the love you never achieved  
Middle of the night to about chest pain

When I could not bear it no longer
Then at late night I call a friend to awake
No longer I can't say either

My friend
O' my friend!
My dearest friend!

How do I tell thee
My soul grew dry that is more than a wither petals
No longer I can't say either

When the sudden stopped of time
I stood, Saw the closed distant door
No longer I can't say either

To be alone in everybody
Within a moment a known seems to be unknown
No longer I can't say either

The last thing to understand who she is constant
The story of the lost bright Star
No longer I can't say either

The door is closed
Maybe someone has locked
Alone, The sleepless nights of choking

One's that hard
Many pale faces in the crowd of strangers
Love is lost within too many hopes

How do I tell thee
No longer I can't say either
~~
@ Musfiq us shaleheen

They aren't just scars.
They are the demons
I fought at 3 am.
They are my insecurities,
my deepest fears,
and my lonely nights.
They are the insults I have received and the
emotions I cant contain.
They are a part of me
and are what I have become.

I realized today that I have
stopped living life.
I am literally just trying to get
to the next day, just living in the
thought of tomorrow.
I am not living, I am waiting.
And the trouble is, I don't know what
I am exactly waiting for. I am kind of
scared for what it might be.