To the boys who just want to touch me
You must know that I am not a momentary happiness type of person
Overthinking is my forté
My name is not chastity
Nor is it easy rather
Difficult and complicated
Hard to crack open
There is no sweet center waiting to be divulged
I am more like the sun
A ball of pure fire that burns at the touch
Anxious at the thought of unfamilar palms and fingertips
Meant to be admired from a distance
I will warn you not to get close to me
For magnets swim in my blood
And I cling to no extent
I am
Surrounded by a force field
I do not let down my guard
So if you want to touch me
You must first
Learn to love me.

it was probably a mistake
the day you swore her eyelashes were wet from the rain;
the night you promised to never belittle the importance of the sun

because here she lies,
tears precipitating,
stomach lurching
at the thought of you and
I promise you, I swear
that the sun could never shine
nearly as bright as she did
when she started
rising and
falling
for you.

you have opacified her
radiance
you have shunned her
selfless light

and she who was once a sun
is now a hopeless, spiraling
monsoon.

you don't know but I used to cry when you held me.

and I know
you finally cried when I finally
drove away
but why did your tears even
bother to fall
if she was laying right under you to soak them up?
catching each one and then letting them fall through her fingers
accordingly

I wish I could ask you
why it made any difference
for me to walk out of your life
if she was waiting at the nearest
entrance
as soon as I left the nearest
exit

I don't even wonder why you're gone anymore because I know
that she was always everything
and that tears
are never anything

and I guess I didn't really make a difference,
just left a salty taste in your mouth
that faded so quickly you forgot;
that was replaced so soon by the spice of another Cuban cigar

she is an abundant freshwater ocean
while I, to you, was only brief
saltwater
stream.