I can shout it because I’m pitiful,
But I’ll whisper it because I'm weak.
It’s the only thing light enough to say.
And I’m sorry saying sorry
Won’t change a **** thing!

Death doesn’t care how much we cry.
Even if we swear to change,
To cork the *****,
Or
Come home on time,
Death will carry on as usual.
Without skipping a beating heart

All words once used
to describe the eyes the color blue
tied together, tried and true
are still nowhere near good enough for you

I am God
a silent watcher of the night
a flaming-winged pegasus
a steel coated honorable knight
I am the moon that pulls the tides
the sun that illuminates the earth
I am power, constantly craved
I am money and all it's worth

I am all these things
because I am me
overrate yourself
no one else will

wind blows
and then it doesn't
you can't really anticipate it
it just happens

I want him
to be mine
simple and unconventional
nothing the world hasn't heard before

I want him
but he says no

I want him
but in a drunken jealous rage
i slapped his face
i cursed his name
i hid in the shade

I want him
but he says no
its the wrong time
its the wrong place
I slapped his face I crossed the line
the past cannot be erased
I have scars he says
no space to be hurt again
I ask him,
where is the room for healing
where is the room for breathing?

I want him
but he says I want to be selfish

Well I want to be selfish
I want him to be mine

Coffee stained sweaters
swollen bit lips
mistakes that stayed forever
wounds that never healed
apologies told
relationships mended
now that I have you
I'm reminded by how it ended

I search for tones in your speech
quivers in your voice
hints in your texts
movements in your body
I can't forget how we failed
how we might make it this time
and why either is
just as likely as the other

Do I love you?
Or am I just used to you?

A bandage can only do so much
it's the body that heals
don't cover up your problems
solve them