too relaxing but i can't sleep
this silence is sinking me deep
I smiled at the sky before i weep

She is a catastrophe
of mixed tornadoes and thunders
She's always seen as destruction
in the eyes of the near-sighted
But over the massive fogs of doubts and distrust,
after the tranquility of her strong winds,
There is calmness in vibrant paradise of her love
And even it requires a long time and bravery to reach for her soul,
Do not stop.
I hope you'll travel a little farther against all of her odds
In the end, you will meet her again
Dressed in florals, blooming like a sunflower
Her smile is peace in a golden sunset

You have to meet her as a catastrophe
To be worthy of her beautiful love.

When fear creeps into our land
Know that God is always our great Helping Hand
No matter the disease and number of deaths
In God's mercy, we find peace and rest
If you feel like hope is fading away
Stay with your family at home and pray
Do not ever underestimate
The power of prayers and faith

Hindi tugmaan ang pipigil
Sa isang tulang malaya
Buhay ang pag-ibig
Umiindak nang naaayon sa himig
Hayaang tumakas ang mga
Damdamin at kumawala
Upang pagdating nang araw ay
Walang pagsisihan sa mga
Pagkakataong nawala

​i still hate the girl that i am obliged to deal with every single day
but i confess that still i wake up to give her another try
allow her to make mistakes
take the guilt, and apologize
for what's only accounted to her
allow her to breathe and take a break
allow her to cry when she's sad
allow her to burn when she's mad
allow her to love, to bleed in love
and somehow, to be loved
yes, i still do not like some parts of her
but i finally understood that
she is also human
and she is me.

Sad to think that we are all tired souls
We run fast to fulfill all our roles
And I, in a cycle of hurry,
The world wouldn't stop to wait for me
All the wounds I've got is excruciating
Yet my feet's programmed to keep walking
Lost on my way are the hopes and dreams
Conquered by silent defeaning screams...
In a world where your best is always less
Yes, we're all tired souls, I want my rest.

Ikaw ang takbuhan sa mga oras na walang wala..

Ang ibig kong sabihin sa walang wala ay yun bang walang wala na kong maibuhos na luha,

Walang wala na kong malapitan,

Walang wala na kong makapitan,

Wala nang gustong makinig,

Wala nang interesado, naubos na kasi ultimo ang para sa sarili.

Ikaw lang ang natatangi.

Ang lakas pala ng loob kong magalit sa mga mang-iiwan, naisip kong wala rin pala akong karapatan.

Ganoon din ako..

Binitawan kita kapalit ng kasiyahan.

Nakangiti ka sa akin habang hinahatid ako sa napakagandang hantungan.

Baligtad na ang mesa.

Nandito na ko.... muli.

Lalakad patungo sa iyo na may dala dalang pluma at papel

Iguguhit ang pait, ngingiti dahil ito na naman tayo sa puntong ito at hindi ko mahanap ang mga tamang salita

Nalimot ko na ata ang tamang pakikipagtalastasan.

Alam kong mauuwi na naman sa tipikal na kamustahan.

Hindi ko inakalang babalik tayo sa nakaraan habang umuusad ang mga kamay ng orasan

Mapagbiro.

Hindi ako handa sa pagsalubong ng taon

Bakit ko nakikita ang mga aninong matagal nang nilamon ng liwanag

Bakit muling nagdurugo ang mga sugat na matagal nang naghilom

Hindi ako naniniwala sa swerte.

Walang swerte. Walang sumugal na hindi natalo.

Buti na lang mayroon akong babalikan.

Ikaw yung kaibigan na hindi lumilisan.

Matagal ang isang taon,

Sumulat ako ng mga tulang kawangis mo

Binuo ko sila na parang mga bahagi ko

Akala ko ay tapos na...

Kung ang pagsulat ay paglaya, hindi ba dapat ay nakakalag na sa akin ang tanikala?

O mali.. baka wala talagang paglaya

Paano kung nililibot ko lamang ang malawak na hawla nang may huwad na pag-asa?

Minasdan ko ang obrang nilikha ng dekada,

Makulay, sa unang tingin ay puno ng pangarap

Parang nobelang nagsasalaysay, at kapag naroon ka na sa kasukdulan ng tunggalian,

Nanaisin **** isara ang pahina..

Makikiusap ang nobela sa isang pagkakataong sana'y siya ay tapusin hanggang huling kabanata...

Napaluha ako ng matindi dahil isa pa lang trahedya ang nobela.

Teka.. teka..

Buburahin ang ilang metapora.

Masyadong madrama.

Malayo sa imaheng gusto kong makita at ipakita

Ngunit tila hindi hawak ng aking kamay ang panulat,

Hinablot nang marahas ng pusong gustong kumawala

Ganon ata talaga sa muling pagkikita pagkatapos ng matagal na pagkakawalay...

Puno ng emosyon.

Magugulo ang burador, wala nang patutunguhan ang tula.

Hindi bale.

Hindi naman dapat na maging maganda ang porma ng tula,

Hindi importante ang sukat at tugma,

Sa susunod na babasa ka ng tula,

Nagbibigay ka ng tunay na pag-asa sa may akda.

Kasinungalingan ang bigkasing masaya ako, ngunit aaminin kong may tuwa, may katiting na pagsigla sa muli nating pagkikita,

Maraming salamat, Sining ng Malayang Pagsulat.

I am your home
Do not run away.

I want to be that text message
That you would read all over again
Because it gives you sweet shivers

Everything I miss wasn't in this timeline anymore
Lost are the smiles that I always adore
The things I thought to last was over
Except the things that ought to haunt me forever
I breathe in a beautiful portrait  in a shattered frame
Wherein everyday is a mending game
When I said I'm done, I don't mean to want an end
It's just, I think that is all I ever need

You are the sunshine
That I wake up to in the morning
Sometimes you came
In the form of dark clouds
and strong rain..
Your winds can be calm and chilling
Or sometimes can be so destructing
Whatever form you might come in today,
You're always my favorite thing
to wake up to in the morning

eyes closed, trembling knees
Took a step closer to you
All tears gone, I'm home

We are wild foxes
Fired on us, been gunshot thrice
But we're bulletproof

With its strong, high walls
​I will rebuild my castle
No thief could enter

for all the promises I failed to keep
I am sorry
for all the times I made you sad
I am sorry
for all the times I made you mad
I am sorry
for all the failures I made
I am sorry
for all disappointments after my name
I am sorry
for all my shortcomings
I am sorry
for every drop of tears I left in your sad eyes
I am sorry
for being overly dramatic
I am sorry
for not being good enough
I am sorry
for being a headache,
I am sorry
for being toxic,
I am sorry
for not being able to make you smile
I am sorry
for snatching your happiness
I am sorry
for your regrets of having me
I am sorry
for being helpless and depressed
I am sorry
for being numb and dumb
I am sorry
for being annoying and apologetic
I am sorry
I didn't wanted those things too
but I am sorry
this is not the version of me that I dreamt to be
but I am sorry
until my last breath, until my last poem
sincerely, I am sorry.

I miss you
Every night I do
We used to fight battles together
We used to build up each other
Don't become a stranger to me
Don't be the enemy in our story
To see you fading and sobbing
Makes me think I'm gonna lose you one more time
I said no, I don't want to let you go
We are meant to fight battles together
We are meant to build up each other
I miss you, I miss us
We are meant to be as one
Reach my hand as soon as you can please? I couldn't wait forever
Come back to me...

self.

We're just staying under the same roof
Eating the same foods, sharing the same goods
How about the "how was your day?"
How about the thank you's and I'm sorry
How about the hugs when we fail
How about the forehead kisses when in pain
You all just said I love you when all I want is to feel it
We supposed to be a whole
But over the years, we are just pretending
We are just pieces that has been gathering together
I am sorry, I ran out of adhesive 
Now, I am comfortable to watch us broken.

I can hate my life forever
But still love one part of it
And that is you
Ily.

How far can our minds could take us?
Mine brought me in a place so full of you
Where there exists so many figures and I'm almost lost
Little did I know that an idealist mind can break itself too

I came to crossover between the red lines and see you
I thought of salvation, but oh, it seems to be danger
Either a made up one or maybe an existing one
I don't know, I'm still searching for answers in your words

Having the urge to feel so I would know that it's real
Because I couldn't trust my reckless mind anymore
It could be the most treacherous thing in the world
I want reassurance when troubles feel at home in me

I almost made it
I almost have my dream confidence
But why am I here
At a point where I still do my best
For the world to be impressed
Covering up with a smile,
Finding myself convincing the world
AGAIN
That I am enough by just being me..


I'm not tired of reminding people how wonderful and lovely they are, that's what I always believe


...But I guess I couldn't help my own self anymore

It all starts with I want to
Like
I want to gather myself
Even if it is parted into many pieces
I want to see myself
Ceasing the fire that is fed by insecurities
I want to be better
At being myself, not to be somebody else
I want to be that good daughter,
Even if I think I'm not that smart
I want to find peace and live it
Even it is too chaotic to start right now
I want to gather myself
And build all of these

It all starts with I want to
And I wanna end this with I will.

and please be careful when you say that it was over
I will not come back when you say that you miss me
I will not come thru when you beg me to save you
I will not go to places that will remind me of you

you are not invisible,
they are just blind

you are worth it,
so don't lower your price

your ideas are bright enough
to let 'em be shown to the world

you are beautiful,
be deaf when they say you're not

I see you doing your best
honey, I'm so proud of you!

Sometimes like a fireworks
Just full of colors;
Sometimes like a bomb
Just so destructive

Have you ever felt nothing
While carrying so much heaviness
In your heart?
Have you ever said nothing
While having that deep desire to scream out loud
Have you ever understand nothing
Because you are continually hearing everything
That confuses you, your identity, your worth?
Have you ever see nothing
But blurry, shady, foggy made up truths

Wait wait.

Have you ever loved that nothing?

Because I'm starting to.

Wordless is when my mind is full of unnecessary thoughts,
Goosebumps run down to my spine yet still numb
Tears-free eyes are the worst
It shines but it means collision of doubts and self hate
Sometimes i just dont like me :)
If others do the same, i'll understand
Wordless is when I can put these into poetry but will remain void
For it will never be heard and
I will never be heard
I am the noise that nobody wants

I've encountered a beautiful poetry
the day I looked into your heart
I saw stories that could
make me listen in fondness
may deliver pain or happiness
yet it is worth every ounce of it
and unlike any other poems,
yours is the only one
that has the perfect rhyme,
a lullaby to my restlessness
just as the poetry itself,
the one upon you is mysterious.
still you are worth it;
you are worth seeking
I will devote discovering
every piece of you every day
Have I told you before?
I like poetry but...
yours is the one I will love endlessly

I love you.
you are the poetry that I need.

The darkness of the clouds fit
In her tired eyes but still it lit
Everything that it sees
Beyond failures, there will be good deeds

You will not always hear her say a thing
But her mind doesn’t denotes a dried field in spring
Look at her, she smiled when you threw her fire
She turned it to a stunning  sapphire!

No is her answer to your why
She’s genuine enough to not lie,
Yet wise enough to realize that she never owed
Anyone an explanation for what she sowed

You see black and white
But there are too many colors on her sight
Blended together not to be aesthetically pleasing,
Just enough to give her soul a nice feeling.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

I couldn't even write a poem when I'm too sad.

I can't stay














...being mad at you,
...being stone-cold at you,
...befriending pride and hating the things you do,
...being a coward by not letting you know how much I care
how much I love, how far I could run for you and with you

I just can't stay any longer without you :<

and so I'll go

...start every morning with you
...back to your arms when life's going rough
...fight not against you but with you


I'll go wherever you go,
you are home.

a sad word it is;
not so often a someone's favorite
and neither do I
because leaves
aren't always from trees
sometimes it is an action word
that brings out
a million liter of tears
if time goes back and
won't take you away again
I promise to whisper six words
a thousand times then
"I love you, please never leave."

aren't we suppose to die once?









I thought I died yesterday but here I am, alive, but dying.

Again.

I am a tree
The love I gave you today
is my leaf
There are so many leaves
in me
I can give you one or two each day
I hope they'll grow
within you
so when the day I die,
I could offer
my last piece of love to you,
My leaves will continue to live and
You will never forget me.

you are funny
that's one reason why I loved you
you're so funny that you brought
my laughter to almost teary eyed
- the kind of joyous, always precious
but not until you vanished
I thought you were just ''being funny''
so I laugh while convincing myself
that you didn't mean to made my tears
fall down from my cheeks
yet that was the same tears you promised
to wipe away
- the kind of burden that crashes me inside
the sun has risen, the sun has set,
the moon was there, and the moon left
I watched the same routine for I don't now
how long, I just knew it was hard
grieving for the love I once dreamt to last

'til it was you again, coming back from nowhere,
you used the same bridge that I walked on
to get back to myself and heal

you are always funny.
now, I'm just laughing at you.

and that is why
to be fool in love
is okay... I mean...
to smile for littlest reason
and sing lalala
the cheesy lines, PDA's
that's okay

but to fool your love
is never okay,
remember: you aren't a ****.








or are you? hmm

you are a beautiful mental disorder
that whenever my mind is thinking of you
it delivers me tickling signals in my stomach
giving me smiles in most difficult times,
pressures in my heart but lightly and gentle,
the symptoms aren't visible with bare eyes
so I tried to search my soul and meet yours
my knees are trembling and makes me fall
--in love for you
you aren't a disorder, I was kidding
you fixed me :>

I was walking home last night
my focus is torn between
the road that I was taking and
of course you knew it, the moon
it is always the skies, the stars, the sun
the celestial and astronomical "buddies" that I'll always cherish
calling them buddies for they witnessed me
and how I was, who I became and why it is me
it is them that will always have a special place in my heart
and yes, of course, except you
my heart for you can't even compare to those
significantly no, there is a universe-far difference
you are my daylight in the morning
my sun, you remind me to shine with you and smile
you are my moonlight when the night comes
my moon, you shine a light amidst of inevitable darkness
my star, my constellation, I could adore for a lifetime
my sky, you are my favorite shade of blue :>
my world, my galaxy, my universe, my aurora borealis
and all of that beautiful phenomena...

I was walking home last night
I smiled because I realized, even my home is you.

a great way to start a day,
and a peaceful escape from a busy loads of work
sometimes in the night, I spent a sip
a really cozy taste of a brewed milky coffee!
'coz why not? ??
it makes everything back on its place (my mood for example hehe)
no one would notice that it smells like home
but I always do so whenever I recognize
an espresso or a latte, I close my eyes and smile
it is more than just a coffee, it is goodness in a cup!

one... two... three...
bright sky, nice dress!
'o hi there, my lovely friend,
your smile radiates today
pretty.

four... five... six...
get away off here!!
leave me alone,

cries and dies secretly inside
raining, storms, thunders,
fiery.

why are they laughing,
are they laughing at me?

glitches, palpitates and shakes
cold hands are slapping my face

who am I?
you. are. worthless.

seven... eight... nine...
shut the hell outta here!!!

evil laughs are screaming

'o hi there, my filthy, ugly other self
you're so stupid todaAaAay

hardly breathing

i bet no one loves you still ****
**** that hurts

head aches, cold sweating

ten... eleven... twelve...
stares at nowhere






--

"hey... hey, are you okay?"

"oh, yes! what is it again? :)"








one... two... three...

How many times did she declared herself dead?
Maybe same as the number of stars above the night sky
In which she tell every pain she had before she forgets
How to really live rather than just to plainly breathe

The awakening has now come into her dreamland
She will be dressed as one of those shining stars
She is brave because God her out of courage.
Marvelous enough to bring revival to her soul.

She is a woman.
No other person shall build her
For she can do it herself
She is heaven-sent, a woman of God.

The way God brings comfort to thee,
Is through the shape of her.
She once forgotten her worth,
She is the revival.

of all the vibrant colors
yellow had been invisible to me
all the other had gone withered
but yellow breathe back life into thee
and I, a sunflower with a brown center
had never noticed the yellow in me
I am shining in the amidst of lonely winter!
my petals have endured strong winds
now I can see, I am stronger than ever,
no extreme weather shall defeat me;
for I am not just a flower
I am a mighty sunflower, I will not wither.