The night at the ball
I met a foreign prince
He told me he liked my shoes and smile
And I've seen him around here since

He is a Prince Charming
He searched through the land
However, others had ideas
A spy shook both our hands

Another imposter to the throne
Claimed to be his girl
She took his photo on the side
And cracked our china world

And so, I thought of him again
As he rode on horseback
After many months of zilch
The prince and I, at last?

The prince was very perfect
He was all charm and looks
A part of me could never speak
To the man I knew from books

But soon I finally saw the light
And the prince had just about ceased
Prince Charming is for Cinderella
And I like Beauty and The Beast.

at first we played games
like 'see who can love the other more'
now it's **** on me, i'll **** on you
and if i don't have anything worthwhile i'll drink until i can muster up just about anything devilish

never thought much to bite my tongue
but i'm somewhat starting to wish i had it removed with my tonsils last year
right before i met you
maybe it would have made more sense if i hadn't the ability to talk myself up
and make it seem like i'm a person who cares about anything

you see i've learned lately that i'm no good, when it really comes down to it
i can go through the motions and get by, but when it comes down to the most crucial moments, like when one must hold their tongue... i spit

i never have liked uppercase i's
i know it's absolutely stupid
but they always make me feel more important than others
like i'm always saying I, I, I.

see even that was weird
way too many eyes
so i spend half my days, proofreading my lines
to make sure that i'm exactly the same size
as everyone else

when i first met you it absolutely blew me away
to find someone else who lowers their eyes
i'm serious, it's amazing to find someone who wastes as much time as yourself
hitting backspace, and
cursing auto-correct for not allowing this behavior

but after a while i noticed you stopped with the i's
maybe it was around the time **** got weird
maybe it was a fad; or i have some absurd superstition
but it's cool
You always were the bigger person, anyway.

If freckles were lovely, and day was night,
And measles were nice and a lie warn’t a lie,
Life would be delight,—
But things couldn’t go right
For in such a sad plight
I wouldn’t be I.

If earth was heaven and now was hence,
And past was present, and false was true,
There might be some sense
But I’d be in suspense
For on such a pretense
You wouldn’t be you.

If fear was plucky, and globes were square,
And dirt was cleanly and tears were glee
Things would seem fair,—
Yet they’d all despair,
For if here was there
We wouldn’t be we.

.
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