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AE Jun 2015
the stars have always been my closest friends.
lighting the night,
hung overhead.
but you,
you shine brighter than any galaxy.
you are my stars,
keeping me company when im alone.
and when the sun arises,
i will spend every minute waiting for you.
i compare my love to the stars,
but my love goes beyond space for you.
my world was dark before you came,
and now;
i see fields of light.
AE May 2015
i know why you don't like me
i finally understand
it's the handful of different pills
that i'm forced to take, isn't it?
it's because I'm crazy
and you know better than to get involved
because i'll make you mad
and that'll ruin me,
you know that.
i now understand,
and i'm sorry for that.
I've been wondering, and now I get it.
AE Apr 2015
they put me on pills again
they said it would make me feel better
that I wouldn't be sad anymore
but the shaking is worse
now I can't leave my room
because I'm scared of dying
I'm scared of confrontation
because I'm scared of people.
I don't want to get hurt
and now my palms are clammy
face flushed pale.
every things gonna be ok right?
it didn't work
I'm not fixed
the anxiety is still here
and its eating me alive
my mother thinks I'm insane
and my sister is scared of me
I just want to be alone
but I need someone to hold me
to tell me that it's alright
when I know it's not.
the nice people in the white coats
said I would get better
but I blame them
this isn't normal
how can wanting to die,
but live at the same time,
be normal?
AE Mar 2015
it's back
the sadness
it had been gone for a while
now it has crept it's way back
it snuck in my bedroom
and took what I had left
leaving me
in a dark room
not a glimmer of hope
I will get it back
the happiness
and I will get revenge
I will be triumphant
one day.
  Mar 2015 AE
you dissected my soul
added a tinge of you
the days after felt dark
then I realized
you added a tint of black
into my gaiety soul
; I became you
AE Mar 2015
I promised myself I'd go to bed hours ago. long nights spent wasted on your existence. the way you raised your arms over your head and stretched, the hem of your shirt lifting to see the outline of your toned stomach and the fragile lines along your hips. ****. I'm getting carried away again. see? this is what happens, this is what happens when you're in love. you're entire life revolves around them. you begin noticing the little things, like how he stares at you from across the room when he thinks you're not looking. or how he will purposely touch your thigh, he will barely graze it but it will set your mind on fire and later that night and 1am you will remember and the burning will never fade. this is what it's like to be in love. your body is marked with reminders of him, his tongue is poison and he will hurt you so badly. love is not bad, but his love is terrible. and I cannot do it, I cannot sit here and have him caress me when I know his love is fake. he does not care for me. one day he will forget about me and I will still be tangled up in him. this is not what love is. this is not what happiness is. the sun burns now. the moon is my only friend, late at night, after he leaves, the moon is the only one left. how long will this emptiness last?
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