Charlie May Cullip: Favorites

Dec 2017 Charlie May Cullip

Hopeless

Dec 2017 Charlie May Cullip

M

Hopeless

Right now I feel like my head is spinning and my heart is beating too fast.
There's so much chaos around me and there's nothing I can do to stop it.
Slow everything down so my brain can catch up.
But by the point that happens its too late.
Because in the moment I should be helping I cannot it's as though my brain refuses too.
So I'm left feeling helpless and stupid in that moment.
I do what I'm capable of doing hoping it will help.
Then when everything feels normal I'm left with this guilty feeling of not doing enough and feeling as though I'm a truly stupid and worthless excuse for a human.
Giving someone a tissue when they feel stupid when they feel upset feels helpful in the moment,
When I see someone who is clearly upset I panic and ask the most stupid question of all which is are you okay?
Even though its clear to see that was a stupid thing to say and a tissue is no help to someone who is not crying.
So what do I do to help because in this moment I think I've run out of options.

Nov 2017 Charlie May Cullip

to the boy whose poem i saved

Nov 2017 Charlie May Cullip

alex

to the boy whose poem i saved

when a boy shows you his hands
bare except for the dust
he’s begging you to look past
take them in yours.
squeeze them once.
twice.
say without speaking
that you understand that the valleys
in his palms were meant to cradle
shooting star wishes
that he’s allowed to still hope for.
when a boy shows you his eyes
of milk and crimson and melanin
a bloodshot vein for every night he can’t sleep
let him shut his eyelids.
say without speaking
that you understand that the black hole pinpricks
of his irises hold more than the universe
should allow.
when a boy shows you his soul
shivering but still working toward friction
iced over but still working toward melting
let him come to rest next to yours.
say without speaking
that you understand that he is lonely
and that his silence speaks volumes
and that you kept his treasure close
because you love him.
when a boy shows you his hands
show him your hands.
when a boy shows you his eyes
show him your eyes.
when a boy shows you his soul
show him that
this is a comfortable place to rest it.
when a boy shows you the hardness that shaped him
show him the softness
that you have in store.

k

#love #friendship #boy #poetry #kindness

May 2017 Charlie May Cullip

half

May 2017 Charlie May Cullip

Quinn Fox

half

they've cut off the branches i used to hang my
self on
stubs remain
wet and crumbling
and the ornaments lay scattered on the floor
my soul quivers and folds in
to the ground
every time i return any desperate regrowth
is cut back shorter
the stubs break piece by piece to the floor
and my trachea bends in a red-knotted bow
around the stump with the largest
bump on the end
out through my rib
cage around my throat wrapping
wrapping lethally around
my soul and my
heart and under
my chin

#suicide #loss

Mar 2017 Charlie May Cullip

Alcoholism

Mar 2017 Charlie May Cullip

Willow-Anne

Alcoholism

She’s more fun when she is drunk
At least…until she’s not
Because she’s puking in the toilet
And regretting her last shot

She’s more confident when she’s drunk
Gorgeous and ready to score
Until she looks in a mirror
And feels even uglier than before

She likes herself more when she is drunk
Until that feeling goes away
When she is so far beyond gone
That her self-hatred comes out to play

She’s happier when she’s drunk
All her issues leave her brain
But they all come crashing back at once
And cause her so much pain

She likes the world more when drunk
It’s filled with so much good
Until one little thing sets her off
And she hates it all more than she should

She likes life more when she’s drunk
Her mind for once feels still
Terrified of losing that feeling
She soon wants to end things with a pill

But she can stop any time she wants
Or so she’d have you believe
Because alcohol makes her seem so happy
That is, until all her friends leave

Edit: (3/10/17) Oh my goodness! I haven't logged on in a couple of days and boy did I miss a lot!
I am doing my best to respond to all your messages and comments now! Sorry for the wait!
Thank you all so much for such an overwhelming amount of love and support <3 You guys are amazing
For those of you who struggle with addiction of any kind, hang in there, and I hope you all find the help and support you need <3
Best wishes to you all. And thank you again <3

Edit: (3/11/17)
Alrighty, so I just got a very long message that without going too into details accused me of poking fun at alcoholism with this poem. I would just like to be very clear that this poem was in no way inteaded to make fun of the illness that is alcoholism, and if it came off that way to anyone else, I am truely truely sorry. Words can not express that enough for I very much wished the opposite intent. Alcoholism (and addiction in general) is a very serious illness that I take very seriously. I sinceraly hope that anyone who is struggling with it gets the help they need and those of you who are in recovery, I am proud of you. Stay strong and continue to work towards it <3
Once again, my sincere apologies again to anyone who was offended.
Love to you all <3 - Willow-Anne

Nov 2016 Charlie May Cullip

Happiness hangover

Nov 2016 Charlie May Cullip

Swathi eruvaram

Happiness hangover

My lips curl
My cheeks rise
My eyes blush
My teeth hide
Remembering a happy memory makes me happier
I am having a happiness hangover

#son #happy #smile

Nov 2016 Charlie May Cullip

nothing

Nov 2016 Charlie May Cullip

Micah

nothing

Some days,
I feel everything at once,
Other days,
I feel nothing at all

you see, I don't know
what's worse,
drowning beneath waves,
or dying of thirst.

Nov 2016 Charlie May Cullip

the big GI

Nov 2016 Charlie May Cullip

Micah

the big GI

gender identity can be
    one of the hardest things to fight
        because the only thing you can do
           is lean on what you think
               and hope that it's right

#lgbt #identity #genderidentity #mygenderisvalid