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~

Sometimes I cry,
yes, I do
when I think about what my life
was like without you

I would watch lovers stroll,
young and old, hand in hand
knowing it was always someone else,
I was somehow always left out

It hurt, I’m not going to lie, it did…
I found myself constantly wondering
what is wrong with me?
Why was I alone…

Seeing days of sunshine for others,
laughter ringing, joy on their faces
love matching their steps, as I sat
on a wooden bench staring out into the bay

Watching a single gull floating
lonely on the water,
following the never ending ripples,
silently conforming to whatever this is

And I would think, that is me,
just floating, vacant, empty, bobbing
waiting the next tide
to bring me back to start again

For so long I was this sea bird,
chasing lunch boxes
on a crowded summer beach only to
end up hungry at the end of the day

Dreaming of a day when I would have someone,
(though I came to doubt it would happen)
to fly with me, soaring our beach,
our shore, making it all worthwhile

A heart to share
these things that I kept locked
deep inside for fear
no one would care

And yes, I still cry
at these thoughts, though
far and few between now
and disappearing more each day

For I no longer fly alone
and the waiting was so well worth it
As my smile returns and I live
the life that had always been waiting for me

And I now know the answer
to what was wrong with me,
to why I was alone…

   *I hadn’t found you yet
~

When my eyes
seek perfect beauty,
they gaze
*into yours
a funny game i wanted to play with me

writing poem within mouth holding
a seed of blackberry.

the fruit was fleshy sweet
till tongue exposed its bone
staled, made it insipid,
as if, was never grown.

spit it out i could not do
that seed utterly dry
for i had given word to you
a poem to write must try.

as i thought up cutish rhyme
that must pleasure fetch
****** grew the seed with time
my mouth was messy wretch.

my tongue was thick of blue
too intense was my plight
but i had given word to you
must hold till end of write.

it's over now this awkward game
what a relief to throw it out
and never again shall i write a poem
with a blackberry seed in mouth.
Warning: never try :)
green,
jaded by this world's jealousy
I covet only a field of young wheat
in which to lay and
watch the lemon-lime
seed heads sway in the wind.
to hear the sussurant whispers
as the heads, heavy with potential
rub one to another
in a constant  dance.

feeling the earth warm beneath me
the smell of growth and verdancy
pungent in my nostrils.
contemplating chlorophyll and photosynthesis
. ... and cell structures
watching a olive green grasshopper
crawl up the stalk of the plant and
balance on the head, before leaping
into the field,
absorbed within the
shuffling hues of green.

melding with the rythm of the ants
as they march and
marveling at the butterflys dance
green, green,
seeding into my self,
growing little tendrils of life....
that tickle my weary soul and
etch a smile upon my face...
green.
She was a cliché of depression and eating disorders.

- F.T
I met a friend today
She was swearing blue
Traveling the same way as me
What a wonderful way to meet
I innocently said hi
She turned and gave the brightest smile
Side by side we rode
She told me of the old
About the stars and the foretold
She told me
Love is the key to grow

I met a friend today
He’d grown his hair and beard long
Seasoned with age
Though skin and bone to him was no cage
With no second to waste
He didn’t hesitate to speak his mind
He raved about love and peace
About money and tree's
About the birds and bee's
He told me
Love is the key to never grow old
Colours, bright and blazing
Colours, dark and drab
Colours all around us
Colours we can grab
Wear your colours proudly
In almost all you do
But, be careful with your colours
Others have colours too

Black and White
Red and Blue
Orange, Green as well
Blue and Grey
Dark or Light
Colours show and tell

Your colours tell us lots of things
Like which team you support
But, wear your colours carefully
Or you'll end up in court

Colours can cause skirmishes
Colours can cause wars
Colours can cause arguements
Colours break down doors

Wear your colours proudly
No matter what they be
But, A White Hood worn in Harlem
And you'll be hanging from a tree

Colours are religion
Colours are your soul
Colours show your preference
Colours make you whole

I don't know what your colour is
In fact I just don't care
I only know your colours
Let others know you're there

Black and White
Red and Blue
Orange, Green as well
Blue and Grey
Dark or Light
Colours show and tell

Colours push the envelope
Colours blur the lines
Colours make a challenge
Colours show whats mine
Colours make us happy
Colours take away
Colours help us know ourselves
Colours make our day

Wear your colours proudly
Be it red, or black or pink
Yellow, Green or Orange
No matter what folks think
But, wear your colours safely
Wear them and be proud that you are seen
But, be careful what they say because
Remember just what colours mean
This is not written as a warning
I just want you to be proud
Of what colours signify you
Wear them out and wear them loud

Black and White
Red and Blue
Orange, Green as well
Blue and Grey
Dark or Light
Colours show and tell
The saddest part about suicide
Is that you’ve died long before
Taking your own life
And because of that
You decide to go
One step further
This is how I've always felt about the idea of suicide.
I have sinned, I have wronged
Been down with no way up
But you came, lent me your shoulder
I knew this world as a better place

I have cried, I have screamed
Believing nobody could hear me
But you came, lent me your ears
Then I knew someone listened

I have suffered, I have been lost
Searching, but with nowhere to go
But you came, took me, kept me warm
And I knew beauty, for there was you
Copyright © Chris Smith 2011
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