Tears pooling in her eyes
Slowly, steady, realize.
Pull back to the beginning
Shamelessly pretending that your winning.
The hollow feeling in your chest,
How you pray for it to rest.
Hold your head above the shame,
Pull yourself together and play the game.

I think I loved you most the winter your heating was broken
And we’d stay inside all morning
Pretending to complain that we couldn’t get out of bed
Our clothes becoming little islands on the floor,
Ones that we could not quite find the courage to visit

Your hand stayed glued to my hip,
Your breath warming my shoulder
Like a long drag of whiskey
That kind that had a home so far away,
In a glass bottle on top of your refrigerator.
The one that would not be opened
Until that fateful day in February,
When everything went wrong

And on that unbearable night
When you joked that you’d freeze to death if I left you
There was a long silence
Like it might be true.

Now it’s warm enough
That I show too much skin when sitting in bars
And you avoid me like the plague,
Whispering in any girl’s ear that’s near to you
Every time you see me watching out of the corner of your eye

We should have stayed inside when the ice began to melt
Because I think
When those doors opened and we finally ventured outside
The world had changed,
And so had you and I.

I love you.
I love you so much
That sometimes, it's like I can't breathe.
I want to feel your touch,
Even just your hand in mine
Or your arm around my shoulders.
I want to be near you.
I adore the sound of your voice.
I love you.

There are times
That being in love with you is awful.
Someone else makes you laugh
Or smile,
And I wish it had been me.
You're talking to others
And I try not to get jealous,
Usually failing.
I feel guilty for how I feel about you.
Because you don't return the feelings.
I'm like a sibling to you.
That *****.
You mean a lot to me.

I miss you,
Sometimes so badly it hurts.
I want to be with you,
Spend time with you.
I could live by your side.
Hugging you makes me so happy,
And so often I want to kiss you.
More than anything,
I love you.