I shall feast tonight
feast on the things I wish I was
and feast on what I desire
you are what you eat, after all

I shall feast tomorrow
I'll stab everything with a fork
scoop everything out with a spoon
and devour it, devour it all!

I shall feast for weeks to come  
I'll force myself to become what I'm crunching on
whether it be the sweetest personality, or the bitterness of a new look
anything I desire, I willingly swallow  

I shall feast forever
feast forever on gender, appearance, and a personality
and I will eat it
I will cram everything down my throat and consume everything

Yet after I eat all the things I want
I shall never be satisfied
with what I've become
and this glorious feast
will last for eternity
as I willingly overfeed myself
to a far-fetched dream
that I shall never reach

As the sun navigates the sky
Ages will pass and time will come by
When the stars were shining, I was growing up
Responsibilities had settled in
And before I knew it,
I forgot about the stars

Late night texts
Sleepy eyes
Small smiles
Butterflies

Stolen moments
Held inside
Beating heart
Stupefied

~

Left alone
Tear filled eyes
Chapped lips
Scarred thighs

Empty promises
Cast aside
Broken heart
Terrified

~j.l.

I make my bed on cold hard ground
I raise up long before first rays of dawn
It's a life I choose
I am not bound
I feel it's my way
of being sound

When I keep
my mouth zippered down
I find that my words
not going round
Causing pain on both
ends of stick
And my wounds I
don't have to lick

When upon the woods
I rail
All alone like ship on sail
I find life full of mystery
As truths are revealed to me
Give me time that's unadorned
Oak and acorn  
pine cone woods so thick
Until God blows
out my wick

What remains of my poems
Is stillborn
Wrapped in senseless rhythm
Left to fend for itself
In the realm of thought

What remains of my poems
Is a pause
A seizure of the epileptic
The workmanship of
Industrious fallen angels

Come to the river
The river knows everything
It contains all shades
Jasper, emerald, sapphire
No past, no future
But a deathless present is
There. Swim and know all
From the mountains to the seas.
Intimate secrets
Are reflected to the sky
Listen closely to its cry