The beauty of patience is in letting the sun
rise when it rises and shutting our eyes
when the dusk dawns believing the secrets
of life will come in the wake amidst the
crowing of the roosters.

i havent written in weeks
normally that means i am too dismembered to even think
but this time it's different
this time is because i have nothing left to write
because i am happy
things are looking up
writing for me at least
is for the lows
the loyal friend that helps through the pain
so my friend
you'll hear from me when things get bad
so my friend
you'll hear from me soon

xoxo

The deeper we fall
in love
the more fathomless
it becomes.

There's a gap somewhere between midnight and one,
where the music plays on but the musicians have gone and the coat tails of morning have yet to appear,
it's a strange sort of here and now but somehow it soothes me as the music play smoothly and the time is laid back,
but as the clock strikes one all thoughts of peace are gone and the night carries on as before.
but somewhere there's a door for me that leads me to perpetuity,the clock shows it ten past three
and it's time for my bed.

This morning I woke up laying on the ceiling
Looking down at myself
I look different
Not talking about when I shaved last
A 5 o'clock shadow of who I use to know
Frightened by what I see
6 more weeks of a frigid winter
As my bones chatter
They'll talk about the changes I've endured

I go to bed tonight on my ceiling
My covers look warm

The first girl I ever kissed
was in a bathroom at a dance.
I remember my heart pounding because I was finally telling her,
finally saying something to her about how I might feel,
which was this jumble of confusion and uncertainty and
just wanting to try.
I had been thinking about her for awhile,
because to me, she was the only one who could settle this.
I remember her smirk, and how she kissed me hard,
and my head spun and the world fell away
and it was an ecstasy I hadn’t known before.
She slipped her knee between my legs
and I knew what desire was.
Someone came in and she quickly turned around,
and we pretended like I was helping her with her dress.
I left that night in a whirl of guilt and bliss and questions.
That was my first kiss that was beyond stupid teen pecks.

The first boy I kissed,
(and again, here I mean kissed more than half a second)
he was tall and handsome and wore black jackets.
We got caught kissing in school once.
He said he loved me. I think he believed it.
(But his promises started to feel more like threats.)
I remember being alone with him in a room,
and as we were kissing,
my mind wandered back a year.
I remember I thought of the girl kissing me,
and my mind said,
“wasn’t that better?”
I could hardly stand to kiss him after that.

The second girl I ever kissed,
I knew.
It was a love I hadn’t known before. It made the others seem faint in comparison.
We had so little opportunity to be alone,
but I was addicted to kissing her when she let me.
(She eventually broke my heart.)

By the third (and fourth and fifth) girl,
It was all I knew.

There was never another boy.

through the tall tree stands
shards of light penetrated
to warm the earth's soil

With you
I am stronger
I like myself more
I feel alive in your arms
And when your happy
A wildfire of joy bursts
Within my very chest
Time with you
Pieces me back together
I was told that princes
Don't rescue
Princesses
And yet you rescued me
And deemed me worthy to be something
So much more than a damsel in distress
All those people who doubted we'd be together
Were so wonderfully wrong
Because here and now we prove
That love at first sight exists
And that teenage love
Can be the truest and happiest of everlasting loves
You and I were meant to be
Like Romeo and Juliet
Our love is overwhelming
And we have our obstacles
But unlike that tragic couple
We won't die
Not until our time
And we won't let anyone
Interfer with what we want most
Each other.