Tu ganancia y la perdida mia
Busco sol dorado y encuentro joyas amarillas
Tienes torres de oro; tengo juguetes de plastica
Ganaste la loteria; yo perdi, que lastima

Mi derrota y el triumfo tuyo
Arruinas los castillos que yo construyo
Tienes torres de oro; no tengo nada
Pero yo soy fuerte y eres delicada

I tell you I'm fine but I'm not
I don't want to drag you with me
Into the pain, into the heartbreak
You don't want to share my agony.
I tell you I'm fine but I'm crushed
I don't want to tell you the truth.
Because the truth could scar you forever.
The truth is, I love you.

Leaving it off
Until there's no time left
And I'm just out of luck
Second guessing
Always wrong
I'm just giving up
People tell me I should try
But I don't give a ****
Because honestly they just don't know
That I really am
I try to try but I don't succeed
All I ever do is fail
But I can't tell the future
Maybe I'll prevail.

Tugging on a rope with no visible end,
Playing this stupid game like children, like friends.
You're pulling me into a puddle of mud,
Making me believe that this flower might bud.
The burns are incurable, the rash from the rope,
The burns on the hands that once held some hope.
But the hope has gone and I have gone numb,
Fell into your trap, I have been so dumb.
I want to escape, don't wanna play anymore
But still I hold on, in this love tug of war

It was nine years ago we met
Three years ago we parted
Twelve years later reunited
And we're not back to where we started.
Oh where did time go?
We were inseparable once
But now we're separated
And the feeling isn't fun
I supposed that we've both moved on
We've moved past "best friends forever"
But maybe our relationship
Will go on, misremembered.

It's been two days
And it feels like forever
Like I've never even talked to him
Like we've never been together.
It's been 48 hours
And it feels like a year
Or like it's all been a dream
Like he's never been here.
It’s been two days
And it feels like so much more.
Like decades or centuries
Since he walked out the door.

*and I miss him like hell

There's one rotten string on my Ukulele
That holds me back from playing
Behind it, an inexplicable frustration
But the explanation goes without saying.

Strum, Strum, Buzz, Strum
Why can't I just play the chord
Is something wrong with the instrument?
Beyond repair I can afford?

Maybe it's me, that's playing wrong
Why can't I strum that string?
I can't play my freaking melody,
So I guess I'll just try to sing.

What did I expect?
Fireworks or doves?
I know that all I wanted
Was your undivided love.

What did I expect?
Fireworks or doves?
I know that all I wanted
Was your undivided love.
What did I really want?
You to finally see,
That you don't belong with her?
That you belong with me?

I can't even sleep
Breathing is hard
I can't cry anymore
I've been mentally scarred
Sworn into secrets
I can't tell a soul
But my heart is in half
*Unholy and un-whole.

Electricity
Rushes through her bones as she
Lays her head to sleep.

Energy flowing,
Like straight whiskey down her throat,
Keeps her up at night.

Her pillow is soft
Soft like a summer sky’s clouds
Still, no comfort comes.

She plugs in her phone.
The light still shines in the dark.
She can’t block it out.

No energy flows
As she wakes up the next day
She is still unplugged.

Torturing myself with memories of him
Waiting for nothing as my patience grows thin
Holding onto nothing, losing my mind
But I know I'll hold on until the end of time

I had a dream about loving you
And in that dream you loved me too
I knew it was a dream and that's how I knew
'Cause you loving me would be a dream come true

Up all night
Every other day
Just to collapse on the next.
Up until the wee hours
Just waiting for you
Anticipating just another text.
Waiting for something
Expecting the best
But always being let down.
Because your short sentences
That I wait for, so long
Only ever bring me a frown.
So I try to tell you
the way that I feel
But you don’t seem to comprehend.
So I get aggressive
Regret what I say,
and hope that you’ll still be my friend.
You tell me the truth
The whole truth, nothing but
And I cry in the dead of the night
I don’t know if I’ll ever forgive myself
For picking this stupid fight.
I thought of you as perfect
I thought you never made mistakes
Never thought you had problems like I do.
But although you saw right through me
I never tried to see into you.
Maybe you aren’t perfect
But you still light up my world
You make me smile
all of the time
You make my heart twirl.
I could go on for hours
About what I should
And shouldn’t have said
But deep in the dead of the night,
It’s about time I’d go to bed.

I don't want to live in utopia
For once you peak, you decline.
However, aiming for a world that's better than yours is hardly a waste of time.

My utopia is a world
Where I'm happy with myself
Where myself and the people around me
Are happy and in perfect health.

My utopia is a place
Where there's always a reason to smile
And finally it is a place
Where utopia lasts a long while

Walking away
A victor? A coward?
Strutting quickly
No longer empowered
Falling from a skyscraper, tower
Because you gave me a shove

I only went up there because you made me
I thought that you would come to save me
But I just sat there, longing, waiting
Waiting for your love.

Exhaust fumes and cigarettes
Drunken parties placing bets
High heels tripping on the floor
Losing it all
Still playing more
*That's what you get for waking up in Vegas

The sky is a shade of angry air
With the false illusion of gray
The kind that foreshadows agony
That never goes away

Skyscrapers high and paves on the ground
Serving as concrete masks
Wallflowers hide as wallflowers do
From people walking past

Never does a color floss
Through trench coats and slacks, all the same
Never does a person pass
Who knows more than your name

For wallflowers hide as wallflowers do
And no one really cares
For those wallflowers grow, ivy on brick
It never moves, but it's there.

The walls had ears and the walls had tongues
The walls they hear and the walls they hum
Can you hear them call?
Can you hear them sing?
Can you feel the rains of the early spring?
'Cause the walls are thin
And the walls are weak
But the walls, they hear
And the walls, they speak.

If I could only see, how this war and hatred came to be,
I would have ran back in time for my family and my friends.
If I only knew how, the war would end right now,
and the peace and harmony would never end.

We all start with blank faces.
Ebony or
Ivory or
Olive or
Anything in between.
Skin so dark they don't sell the shade at Sephora.
Skin so light you've got to mix the color with white to make it match.
Whatever the color, it's all the same skin.

We all start with blank faces
Made of cells and covered in blemishes
Stretched thin across our cheekbones
Or hanging loose and wrinkled with age,
With lines on our foreheads like
Punishment
for laughing too much.
When did laughter become such a grievous crime?

We all start with blank faces.
… and then we become Van Gogh.
With expert brush strokes, we paint.
We coat ourselves with thick layers of pastey goop like Elmer's glue
Paint it on thick to cover our blemishes and red spots
We top it off with pigment like powdered sugar on sweets
Not knowing that the more opaque our makeup is, the more transparent.

We all start with blank faces.
… and then we become sculptors
Contouring and contorting to conform to unrealistic standards.
We highlight our best features and conceal the rest.
We conceal the redness of our cheeks just to paint it on again with blush.
We paint wings on our eyes although we'll never fly.

We all start with blank faces.
… and then we become victims of consumerism
Spending our money on different shades of the same **** thing
They raise the prices because they know they'll sell it to us anyway
They force it upon us, then shame us for becoming slaves to it
We are the victims and the perpetrators.

We all start with blank faces
… and then we become artists
… and then we become victims
… and then we become warriors

**This is our war paint.

Let me sow words into a field
Water them and watch them grow
Let me sew my words onto my sleeve
Hang my shirt as a flag, watch it blow.

Let me bury my thoughts
Into pages of text
Let history recall me
At my worst and at my best

Let me be remembered
As I go down in history
Let my deeds become famous
As my sins live in infamy

Let me teach the world
What I had to show
Let me sow words into a field
Water them, and watch them grow

I don't believe in water under the bridge
People don't just walk away
And I'm not simply holding a grudge
But I'm still not okay
I'm not okay with what happened
And though I won't let you know
It's still there deep inside
Whether or not you let it go
No, I don't believe in water under the bridge
You hurt me and I'm still in pain
And maybe I'm just holding a grudge
'Cause I refuse to be hurt again

I'm weak. He could drop me two inches and I'd shatter.
I am just a thing that doesn't matter.
I am not his love, I'm just a friend.
But still I know I'll love him 'til the end.
She is his future, his present, his past.
We're just a game. A game that won't last.
Of all that is perfect, he is the one.
Of all things that burn, my heart is the sun.

We're fragile and weak
We breathe and we ache
We declare war and we let ourselves break

We want and we ask
We beg and we plead
Just bobbing about
And rolling in greed

We strive to be perfect
We fight and strategize
We hurt with our weapons,
Our words and our lies

Do you recall pain?
Remember the restless nights?
Now they are your fault

The tables have turned
Time is on the other side
Of this agist world

Now you are the problem
You invoke the sleeplessness
I hope you're happy

We are not

We make a lot of wishes
On candles and shooting stars
Maybe we're superstitious
Or maybe our lives are just hard

We make a lot of wishes
For we don't like ourselves
We wish to be anyone, anywhere,
anyway, or anything else.

We make a lot of wishes
For we want things to change
Wishing for a difference
But everything stays the same

Maybe ADD is a conspiracy theory
Popping pills 'cause authority is wary
That we'll think harder than schools allow
But our brains are more than numb by now

We know that Martians don't exist
And monsters don't hide under beds
We know that imagination's dead
That's what you've drilled into our heads

We know that robots won't abduct
Not until you turn us into them
We know not to listen to a word you say
We won't make that mistake again

You won't listen to our problems
We had dreams but we lost them
You chased them away
But who needs dreaming anyway?

*We do

Rain will run like watercolor
Wet and wild like waterfalls
So hard to hide, go undercover
When water will reveal it all

Drops will drip on your umbrella
While you hold me close beneath
You’re Charming, I am Cinderella
Glass slippers sweeping off my feet

Rain will run all around us
You will keep me safe and dry
Brilliant colors do surround us
While water washes the rainbow sky

We are shadows, silhouettes
We were born in black and white
Waterfalls run wild and wet
Watch the rain and fractured light

Raindrops crashing on the pave
Thunder cracks like bowling pins
Color coming down in waves
Soon it halts.
Then again it begins.

What did we do right,
Except do nothing wrong?
What did we do good
Besides not doing bad?
How did we help?
By sitting here like bums?
What did we do at all
But make people sad?
Why award the lazy
For getting off their ***?
Why award the worst
For doing good?
Why not award the helpful?
The people who are kind?
The people who stand up
When no one would?

I think it has been clear
To everyone in this town
That I don't give a ******* ****
About was goes around
Because what ever you do
It comes around as pain
So what goes around come around
But never to your gain

What is a dream
But false hope and lies
And crushed happiness
Turned into despise?
What is fate
But heartbreak and pain
Expected sunshine
Turned into rain?
What is happiness
But a figment of mind
A nightmare of happiness
Catches you in a bind?
What is peace
But war having stopped?
What is hope
But a balloon that has popped?
What is a dream
But false hope and lies?
And what is love
But heartbreaking goodbyes?

What is a kiss?
A display of affection?
Or the combination lock
Of a solid connection?
If you'll give me your combo
I'll give you mine
An everlasting bond
Frozen in time

You asked if I think about you
You asked what I thought about you
You asked when I think about you

I told you the truth
I said all the time
I said I thought you were perfect
I said when I go to sleep at night

I think of you at night
And at 3 in the morning
I think of you at the anniversary of that time
When you held my hand
And for a minute
You were mine.

But what I never told you
Was that I loved you
And maybe I should've told you
A long time ago

he doesn't understand my plain english.
He doesn't understand my clear pain.
He just moves on,
to somebody else,
while I sit and cry like the rain.
Just because he wants it,
I don't want it to end.
I lose someone that I care for...
because he doesn't know
*what it means to be a friend

I like to deny we were ever in love
I'll say we were stupid and naive and young
But it used to be there and it used to be real
How do I rid of what I used to feel?

3 in a hundred
0.3 in ten
Less than a human
Hurts like thousands of men

I understand and so do the rest
Those 3 in one hundred don't deserve your best

If you give them your all
They can take 30 percent
But if you give them nothing
Then what do they get?

*what they deserve

Ugh, I just don't know what to do anymore...
Boom.

Nobody listens
To what I have to say
Nobody cares
What I think anyway
I spill out my heart
But they don't no this
Even if I scream
No one will notice
The number of people
Who care about me
Shrinks everyday
As far as I can see
You took it from a handful
To two, as it seems
It's like I'm speaking yiddish
You don't know what it means
All that I ask
Is that you'll notice me
I'm withering to nothing
But you just can't see

When I believed in magic things were good.
I wanted to be a princess the way any little girl would.
But I grew up and now my heart's not on my sleeve
'Cause I'm not that little girl and I'm no longer naive.

When I believed in magic things were nice
Prince Charming was only a ride away in a chariot with mice
But I'm not the way I was before, I believe
That I'm not that little girl and I'm no longer naive.

When I believed in magic, when you lied
I believed in Prince Ali and in his magic carpet ride.
But I'm older now and I'm starting to see
That I'm not that little girl and I'm no longer naive.

I burn inside of my mind
I ache inside of my heart
Tears bleed down from my eyes
My hands tremble
I bite my lip
My face goes red
*When I look at you

When I need you to help me
You make me feel worse
When I need your blessing
You give me a curse
When I need the sunshine
You bring me the rain
When I need a doctor
You just bring me pain
When I need you to fix me
You break me apart
When I need you to help me
You break my fragile heart.

When the silence breaks
The bell rings loud
And the murmurs begin in the whole of the crowd

When the silence breaks
Tight friendships fail
Only the strong, only one will prevail

When the silence breaks
Everyone cries
Hell to your ears
And poison to your eyes

But when silence fell,
There was bliss in this hell.

When what you thought you knew goes totally wrong
When you’ve been kicked out of where you think you belong
When you’re hurting inside and tearing apart...
You turn to your heart.
But when you look inside and find it’s not here,
You look for the one, not knowing he’s not near.
When you turn out dumb when you thought you were smart...
You look for a heart.
But when that heart beats black,
there’s no turning back
Maybe I’m state of the art
But I haven’t a heart.

Walking around
Aimless and confused
Where do I go?
What do I do?

Walking around
Which way do I go?
There's no one to lead
No yellow-brick-road

One foot
In front of the other
Keep your head down
Don't be a bother

Lost and confused
A white puppy in the snow
What do I do?
Where do I go?

Is it something I said
Is it just how it is
Did some other girl give him more than I did

Is he telling the truth
That its not me, it's him
Is it something I said?
Is that just how it is?

What is the object of these games that we play?
What are we trying to get?
Why do we do what we do all the time,
When all it ever does is upset?
Why do we follow this one way road?
The elevator that only goes down?
Why do we do what we do all the time,
When all it ever brings is a frown?
Why do we stay when there's a long road ahead?
Why do we follow this never-ending spiral?
Why do we hide from the world around us?
Why don't we let it out, make it viral?
Why do we follow this one way road?
Because we have nothing to lose.

It burns when you look in my eyes,
It burns when you hold my hand.
It burns when you say my name,
But it burns even more when you don't.

It burns when you talk about her,
It burns when you say anything.
It even burns when you make me smile
But it burns even more when I cry.

It burns, it stings, it pains, it hurts
But I would burn 1,000,000 shoes walking on sunshine with you.

for the first time in a long time i opened up my curtains
and for the first time in a long time I let the light into my room
i spent so long hiding away in the darkness, pretending nothing was wrong
and it's time i let the sunshine illuminate my skin

for far too long I've felt nothing.
my limbs were numb and my heart was empty
tears fell, salty on my flesh
and in their wake there was nothingness

all my life I've lived in the shadows
never allowing the sun to tan my skin,
for fear that it would burn
so I opened up the windows on a freezing winter morning
I let the cold pierce my skin
as the light reflected of the white snow
the winter is blinding, but the sun is still shining
and as the goosebumps form on my pastel skin
I feel warm