i accidentally fell asleep on a blanket in my backyard
the sun was warm, the sky was clear, and the ground wasn't too hard
when i woke up my husband was smiling at me
and in his arms was our beautiful baby
they both had glittering brown eyes
and i smiled back at them; i love my life.
the baby was laughing and everything was perfect
and suddenly, all the pain was worth it.
but then i woke up in the real world
i was not your wife, not even your girl.
it felt so real, but it was just a dream
will it ever become a reality?

words
          flow
                out
                     of my mouth
                                           like droplets
             falling
out                          
                   of
                                         the
          air


falling
f a l l i n g
                                   further
                apart

never
together
again

I hate loud noises.
I really appreciate when it’s quiet.

Ever since the asylum,
I can’t stand loud noises,
especially if they’re sudden.

Gets me scared,
sad,
and then mad.

When it’s quiet,
I can think clearly.
I can do things better.
I can be more relaxed.

It’s ironic.
I feel like most people would say
I’m a loud person,
and I’ll give them that.
I can be loud sometimes,
when I’m excited.

But I still love the quiet.
I like being able to think.
When it’s too loud,
I feel like I’m losing it.

I’ve been listening to some quieter music.
Mitski is really good.

They say I have a rock voice,
but I’d rather whisper-sing instead.
Maybe that’s what I’ll do.

I love the quiet.
It’s never the perfect amount, though.

Someone forgot the pearl necklace today
I remember seeing a red and white skirt
the sound of the wind was strong
a floral set of earrings
As the camera rolled
a pause stood in the air
there wasn't a single cloud in the sky
the black blouse was transparent
the red on the mustang
reflected your sunshine face.