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Caitlin May 2014
I beleive that I have become so numb to the pain that when I have a tidal wave of emotions coming at me...

I become afraid.
And I usually break down..
Caitlin May 2014
The talk that I'd like to have with you
If I have the courage..

To her:
I hate you.
I can say that honsetly.

It kinda started when you lied to me-
I was just asking a question-
But even then he was manipulating you.

I thought you were better than that.
I looked up to you.
Why'd you go and do that to me?

But then you  tried to hide the fact that you were dating him from me.
Did you think of me as a threat?

And then he left.
And impacted us both-
You weren't the only one in pain.
I loved him too!!!

But then you went and changed.
You became a b---h
I'm sorry it's the truth.

And then at footloose when you asked me if I'd seen him-
And I  gave you a sarcastic answer:
"He's doing what he does best- sitting"
You got all defensive,
And I warned you..

And you said- he thinks he's in love with me-
I wanted to yell-
What about you?
Do you love him?
Because I know what my feeling are.

You just never saw them.
Get out of your own world.
Look at the one around you.
And to think you'll be leading the band in a few months...

You are a sad sob story.
Too bad no one wants to listen
Personal thing- might aply to life as well, depends on how you look at it.
Caitlin May 2014
One choice
One decision
A thousand regrets

I am sorry
Caitlin May 2014
This is what I'm a part of
High school band
Very different from middle school band
All mature teens (most of us)
Coming together and making the most amazing thing in the world

We make love and hate
We make peace and war
We make red and white and yellow and green an blue and purple
We make tears and smiles
We make laughs and screams
We make.

We are a band.
We make music.
No one will get this unless you've ever been a part of a band- not like a rock band but an actual band- with trumpets and french horns and flutes am tubas and clarinets and trombones and saxophones.. It is breathtaking. What we do..
Caitlin May 2014
If I give you my heart
Will you protect it?
  May 2014 Caitlin
Violet
why did you
leave me all
alone?
you've gone
away without
even saying bye
how could you?
but, never mind
it doesn't matter
i'll secretly miss
you dearly though
and love you with
all of my heart
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