do you feel fight or flight
norepinephrine through your veins
my nails against your skin
body delicate and responsive
lips bruised and stung
as i lick, nibble, bite
i sense veins pulsing with blood
burning hot with adrenaline
and i want you so desperately
i long to consume your words
devour your lips
take you in entirely
ravaged
exhausted
i want to smell you
fear, arousal, excitement
your flesh against my tongue
the sweetest moment of all
is not the thrill of the chase
it's the moment predator
captures prey

i am slipping
heart melting
bury me down
and i won't rise
remember tequila shots
and first times?
our spirits etched
crudely into each other?
and you were the one
to let me go
brought your shovel
entombed us both
i wish i could forget
your smiling eyes
dancing for me alone

I wanted to leave this morning with hope
Dreaming about how today would not be like yesterday
I could get up 15 minutes earlier
Wear that new little black dress that makes me feel good about myself
Catch the bus on time
Eat a good breakfast just like you've always told me to
But I got up and had a missed call
And that's when I found out you were gone
And I rolled over in bed hoping this would be a bad dream
And got up late
And put on that little black dress that I keep for funerals
And called a taxi to pick me up
And I saw you one last time, pale lips and eyes cold
I couldn't eat for days after
Your body hooked up to humming machines
I wish it had been me instead

Your silver tinsel smile
Warm breath against my neck
Lips parted and I can almost taste you
Bubbles line champagne glasses
Their edges soft as skin
The needle work
Your fingertips sew
Against my arm
Like rain drops on
A golden window pane
And a dull heart ache
At the bottom of my stomach
Pulling me under

Like Aristotle,
I see the world in moderation.
All the ugliness feels balanced
When I look at you.

you define who you are
by maybes and not-so-bads
as boundaries disappear between us
I see a filled canvas of colour
every brush stroke placed perfectly
you are the epicentre of art
truth and beauty collide

but-
some truth you have yet to uncover:
no one of us is complete
everything disowned can be recovered
your inhibitions are fantasy
you cannot maintain a status quo
that makes you unhappy
or expect happiness in the static

instead, invest in yourself
you need time to grow
a thousand seeds in a desert
will never create a garden
just as a thousand compliments
will never bloom if you don't
first learn
to love yourself