let me make a list of things I hate
number one, feelings
number two, feelings
number three, feelings
number four...
have you noticed a pattern yet?

have you noticed that I hate these emotions
that flood through my body
when I see your face?

waves of emotions
hit me like a ton of bricks
when I even so much as think of you.
believe me,
I wish it would go away,
you won't get out of my head.
you drill yourself into the small crevices in my brain,
attaching yourself with tiny hooks
and no matter how hard I try to pull you out,
you're stuck to me.

I didn't ask for this.
why would I put myself
through this kind of pain?
why would I allow myself
to think of you in such a way?

but,
feelings are feelings
and they hit you when you least expect them,
when you don't want them.

let me remake that list of things I hate:
number one, you
number two, you
number three, me
number four, I think we both get the point now.

love will come to you
at random times in your life.
when you least expect it,
but when you realize
that you are in love,
you will understand that it happened for a reason.
you will find yourself undeniably happy
and when heartbreak comes,
you will hate everything,
but you must remember
that your heart will learn from this
and is making room
for the next person
to show up in your life
and live inside the cavity of your chest.

my heart is an empty canvas
waiting for someone to come
and paint colors all over it,
to etch out designs
that will bring it to life,
it waits in the cavity of my chest
for someone to come
and gently hold it in their hands
gentle enough,
like holding a newborn
promises whispered to it,
like secrets shared in the night,

my heart is an empty canvas
just waiting for the right artist