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Brendan Holland May 2020
The air around me blows
like static --
water rushing
on a porcelain countertop
full of both memories
and feelings.
weeping roses cover
my nostalgia for better times
but the noises!
oh the noises!
***** at my brain and force
me into staring at my own hands.
Quite small, they look
in comparison with what I believe them to be.
Humming  and whirring strike
the darkness around me.
I can't believe this used to be home.
Brendan Holland Oct 2017
Sometimes I think I'm in a nightmare
And I'll wake up next to you
And all of this will be over

But you're never in my bed when I wake
Only sleeping in my mind
Tucked away behind where regret and jealousy collide
Melancholy blankets cover your soft skin
Tender cheeks kissed by my disappointment
My depression plays with your hair
And anxiety massages your back

And when you do wake
You exit my eyes as tears
But somehow
You always find your way back to your bed
Brendan Holland Sep 2017
Sleepy eyes
Are awakened at night
By thoughts overpowered harm

Regret
Is like a paper cut
And lemons are my favorite food

My own rain stains my cheeks
Leaving them red
And cracked

Night know no bounds
Though, neither does the day anymore
Brendan Holland Sep 2017
I keep drinking myself to oblivion
I get ****** so much medusa would be jealous
I can't stay sober
I was high in love
Now I get high to forget
To erase you from my life
Like you erased me

But you wrote yourself in permanent marker
Across my heart
And i am stained all over
That no bleach can take out

Now, I compare everything to you
Brendan Holland Aug 2017
Help
I am drowning
In midnight

Winter comes
And erases me
My summer breeze

So many months
Gone like grass
In its place
Frigid sharp snow
Piercing like arrows
Tearing my skin
And heart

Help
I am drowning
In snow
Winter takes my life
Brendan Holland Aug 2017
I am winter
Stung by your speckled summer skin
And jellyfish cheeks
Hanging in my room like a painting
Always staring at me
Sculpted by certain strokes
I could never see

Ominous fall air
Wallowing in waves
The ocean you are
Filling my room to the brim

A blankets touch
Warm like leather seats
On a summer day

Nighttime dreads
My night mind
Where you are the lead
In my favorite drama

I see no spring
Time has stopped
Endlessly and forever
Brendan Holland Jan 2016
I could talk about how you caught my eye

Like an insomniac catches the cold

But how cliche

I could talk about the whimsy in your eyes

The way they light up 

When you speak passionately

But how cliche

I could talk about how you taste like home
Where I could sleep in peace forever

But how cliche

How can one go on?

When miles of words are already written

When thoughts have already been thought
When feelings have already been felt

When beauty has already been beheld?

I hate being optimistic

But everything has already been written

How could my metaphors be any different?

But it makes sense

Because darling,

I cannot think of any word that describes you,
To me

Even our vast vernacular

Cannot contain my emotional state

For you look of a color never seen

A flower never felt

And a song yet to be heard

Simply put

I can’t describe you

You’re not beyond beautiful 

You’re beyond words
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