It is a modern miracle
To fly safely
But why is there turbulence
Only when I ***?

I spent my time
Like it was someone else's
And now I yearn for moments gone
What did I look like
When I fell in love with him?

I want to put my hands in my pockets, like I always do
And find notes from him saying "I love you."
I want sitting on a park bench
Knowing that the vast silences between us
Mean more than empty words
I want walking on the beach wrapped in one blanket
And holding hands on strange busy streets

I want intellectual conversations at midnight
And long love letters when we are apart
I want sitting at a table and knowing love still leaks
From the corners of my lips
I heard you when you said
"Well honey, that's a lot to ask for."
But I want an ocean to drown in
Puddles won't do anymore

But there are oceans behind my eyes
And lumps in my throat
That I hush with empty songs  

The gardens outdoor are sprouting yellow flowers
But the grass in my heart is covered in ice  
The rain floods my lungs  
With regrets that pin me to concrete floors

My voice muffled by deafening thoughts
And my dreams haunted by the ghosts of lovers I lost  
My body shivers to the December memories
And the thought of your face

Let me stitch the wounds that you cut open  
With the frail strings of hope that I will see you again