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 Aug 2024 Jeremy Betts
Akshay
These words are for me,
For I'm the one who's hurting,
I'm just healing myself.
I often wonder why we can't understand other's poems sometimes, but deep down it is the one who writes it knows the value of it.
I love him
I tell myself
I know that
We will be together forever
I don’t believe that
We could be separated
My thoughts tell me that
He’s the love of my life
Sometimes my heart lies and says
I could live an eternity
Without him
Like my friends say
“We’re perfect for each other”
And you can’t tell me
He’s not the one.

Now read from bottom to top.
 Aug 2024 Jeremy Betts
A
Are you?
 Aug 2024 Jeremy Betts
A
Let me hug you.
Let me console you.
Let me take care of you.

"Are you in pain?"
He loved me with a liquid love
that never weakened, disappeared or vanished
He poured it into me with affection
so deep it felt like the ocean drank me

He loved me with no fences, bars or walls
not for one moment did he waver
His love was more profound than love itself
intense as the touch, of a burning bush

He loved me from above and from below
not even once did I have to walk alone
inside this Universe of spirit and bone

He loved me with Angels at His side  
and with a razor mouth that spoke all truth  
words of connection that only God could whisper
deep in my heart I knew, He was drawing me home    

with His liquid love...
The one umbrella I give her
and get drenched in the rain.

My eyes are not dry
as rain bathes my eyelashes
makes me cry in joy.

I'm happy she's not wet
as it pours on pitter patter
pitter patter.

In the rain I find the might of love
and in the music of the pour
I hear my heart burning
in the light of sound.
With her in the rain, morning Aug 2 2024 on way to school.
Indebted to Nat Lipstadt for his inspiration against my comments on his poem "What is a soundless Sound".
As I am left here
To make up my own explanation
I’m gonna say it’s because of fear
He avoided intensity
And all those big emotions that came from me
He wanted to
But just couldn’t pull it through
It was nothing I did
Or didn’t do
It’s not a rejection
It is a lesson
On humility
And still loving someone
When they have no feelings for me
He never pretended
Or fronted or lied
He kept everything inside
And my interpretation of what it could maybe be
Falls on me
And only me
And we will see
What I can be
Now that I am free
But not really
I’m still the fool who’s writing about him
In my poetry
 Jun 2024 Jeremy Betts
The Noose
Father, remember the drives
Me on the passenger seat of your UNO
The old cassette

You were always this strong person
My giant
My one and only father
I have been frozen since your reluctant departure
Ricocheting between numbness and screaming despair
not far enough on either trenches
For fear it will all collapse

I imagine you here, still
You took the sound with you
All's left but sound and warmth
Burying my head in my hands
in shame, is all I can do

Father, remember the warm December nights
Our lungs filled with music
before yours filled with water
father, you may rest now
You said you still have a dream
I will fulfil your dream
As a shrine to your lungs
That must now sing forever
In the garden of good-byes.
For my Father

20/5/66-10/5/24
 Jun 2024 Jeremy Betts
Nyx
I'm scared to see
What lies beyond these doors
The gate to my future
Whats in store?

I'm scared to let go
Of my high school freedom
Graduation is near
Times passing like the seasons

I'm scared to know
What reality has to offer
I'm not at all prepared
I'm like a lamb to the slaughter

I'm scared to find out
Which of my friends will stay
Who are the real ones
And which ones will fade

I'm scared to hold
All the power of my life
Making such a crucial choice
Cutting through me like a knife

I dont want to be scared
Of what I have now
I want to enjoy life
I'm not exactly sure how

I'll think about my future
And all that is to come
When reality comes knocking
By then I'll be done

Change will happen
Slowly throughout time
I'll take it as it comes
Dont stress in the meantime

I won't be scared.
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