I was a bully one time.
But I gave it up,
I didn't like how it made me feel.
I figured you can't hide in low self-esteem.
And besides, dealing family history
has never been my thing,

We lived,
we breathed our childhood
like runaway trains,
hid our pains in frivolous antics,
created fantastic fantasy worlds.

Some of us were kings
others queens,
still others princes & princesses.
And we did not know excess,
pushing the limits of our existence,
insisting we were real
humans with real feelings,
only trampled on
by those we loved,
the ones we trusted the most.

And now
writing,
we are haunted by those ghosts
who ****** us.

Perhaps I peered too closely into the abysmal potholes of other people’s souls
of whom I had no business pilfering through in the first place.
Now I ponder about feelings and memories that do not belong to me
some of which are long forgotten, disregarded, or even irrelevant.
Of this information that I have unearthed and processed, I know not what to do with it.
I am perpetually preoccupied with what lies beneath the surface point, which is what pushes me forward, yet could propel me to my downfall.
I just sit here and anxiously ponder this arcane information I acquiesced
through means not noble to my standard of normal morals.
There is nothing else to do.
For I rest here in the realm of reality.
This is no novel of fiction for me to figure out.
I can’t flip through the pages of people’s plights.
Something like that does not fall within my rights.
I am a mere meddling mortal amongst other mortals.
I am no god who sits proudly upon their plethora of others’ secrets.

I am just another human being.

Sometimes i just sit here and think about death
Should i take my life with my own hands?

What is there to live for?
Its like i've already been through everything before

I feel so old though im still 23
So young and have lost the passion to live

It's Like i've been here for too long
Maybe i just dont belong

Im not feeling depressed or something of the sort
I just dont have a purpose to live for

Anyway i know its just a phase
My sorrows will soon fade
I'll be happy again
Just to get low after awhile
And this circle will keep turning till the end of time

Besides if i'd take my own life and commit succide
Karma is a ***** and would reincarnate me right back from the other side

Because i was a coward and didnt stick to the plan
Just to live and experience the pain again
So i ll just face those difficulties in this life
So i could die peacefully and enjoy the after life.

Words Of Harfouchism

Abela
sips her wine
wipes her mouth
looks around

love it here
Dubrovnik
she utters

I sip beer
turn a page
of my book
poetry
D. Thomas
Welsh poet

lovely wine
why don't you
try the wine?

I like beer
I reply

why do you
have to read?
she mutters

why do you
have to talk?

she cold stares
sips more wine

cigarette?
I suggest

get your own
she replies

I sip beer
close the book

nice place this
beer's good too
and that girl
that waitress
she's good too

what's so good
about her?
what's she got
that I’ve not?

I don't know
not seen her
undress yet

I light up
a hand rolled
cigarette

those two guys
she tells me
at the bar
the other night
are gay guys

I inhale
hold the smoke
exhale it

you think so?

it stands out
a wide mile

you liked him
the dark one
his dark eyes
wavy hair

she closes
her eyelids
zips her lips

what makes you
think they're gay?

I saw them
lip kissing
she whispers

we lip kiss
we hand kiss
we thigh kiss
we breast kiss

THAT'S ENOUGH
she bellows

I think they're
nice fellows
I tell her
not my scene
but nice guys

Abela
drains her wine
glares at me

another wine?
I ask her
cigarette?

I want gin

I signal
a waiter
one gin please
I tell him
and whiskey

he goes off

she lights up
a French smoke

about the girl
the waitress
just a joke
I tell her

(but the girl
the waitress
occupies
a small room
in my mind)

how days go
she utters
how time flies.

Life is like a carnival
no one is close to me
I am, I dance, I hit the ground,
with exotic music and sound.
Jazz, soul, hip-hop and blues.
I see culture, rhythm
and hues.
Tastes of Italy, Greece,
and Spain,
dance to music,
soul, heart, and pain.
Never before have you seen the
likes of me,
I am that I am and will set your
heart free.