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 Apr 2014 bekka walker
Liv
livid
 Apr 2014 bekka walker
Liv
we're homicidal lovers
with freaky imaginations that tell us
when we're cold
we should cut open one another's skin
like a shell and wear it
draped over our shoulders like a coat
because we crave a warmth
that nothing can satisfy
other than each other's
blood-boiling flesh and my beating heart
that only beats for you
If life is a game,
Then I'm probably losing.
Beaten at every corner,
And I'm finally bruising.

But isn't it great,
To just play it with your friends?
'Cause remember if you end your game,
Then your friends game ends.
Suicide affects so many lives. For all of the people out there tempted, please keep this in mind. Don't be that person that ruins the game for others, because the game can be so much fun if you play it right and with the right people.
I woke up with a nose bleed
I dreamt of you
A flashback to that summer night we broke into that abandoned warehouse.
A painting of paradise is what I left on the walls so that all who enter this place can see what making love to you feels like
Coincidentally the train that I'm on wanders by said location but instead of that old building it was just flat land
Does this mean your soul is any less gorgeous
Was everything that we've done together a waste
All that we built in vain
Just ten minutes after I'd revved the engine
I was only nine miles away from the love of my life
Day dreaming of when we’d met just eight short months ago
Soaring at seventy down that country road
Only six more miles until she’d be in my arms again
Five years ago thoughts of love would have seemed so far out of sight
Yet four times I've already proposed, “too soon,” she’d always say
Amazing how in three seconds your entire life can change
With just two tires there’s little room for error
When one blew out I hit the asphalt, hard
In a wreck like that there’s zero chance I’d survive
One hour later the ambulance arrived at last
EMTs pressed two paddles against my chest
Shocks were delivered three times
At the hospital doctors performed four operations
Five months I spent in a coma
Followed by six months of physical therapy relearning to walk
In time all seventeen broken bones had set and healed
It cost me eight grand to buy a new bike
Now nine years later I’m still riding, fearless, wife on the back
The tenth time I asked, she finally said yes
The night terrors have gotten worse now
And it’s been so long since I last slept
The thought of rest is starting to sound surreal

Yet every time my lids grow heavy
This nightmare becomes reality
My greatest fear becomes my fate

In dream after dream I am forced
To see myself die, each night in a new way
Over and over I witness the end of my life

This does not scare me for I fear not the reaper
But another detail never changes
It is what I see as I draw in my final breath

This mirage of my mind stands at my side
Though she’s always just out of reach
Her eyes telling the tale of heart break

This nameless woman bears my child
For my greatest fear is not my death
It’s leaving behind the family that I never met
 Apr 2014 bekka walker
thrcy
I was going to write about you again
Then I remembered you already left
and no longer care about me

I shouldn't look back at the past
For it has nothing good in store for me
Yet I seem to be reminiscing all our memories
But I should be over that cause they'll fade throughout time

This feeling, telling me write one more
and after that no more
It's really not for you though
Mostly for me, to pour out my pain
That I've been keeping all this time

But after everything
I want you to know
I still think you're as glowing as a star
beautiful as a sunset
Your smile still shines bright like the sun
somehow you still give me butterflies
And you're lovely as the ocean shore

I wanted to give it to you all
Just to see those gleam in your eyes
Just to give you the happiness
Because your eyes didn't touch the smile on your face
And I hoped for so bad to make you happy

But it wasn't enough
Here's a true fact though
I hope you're truly happy
But if I could
And had another chance
I would give you the moon
and the whole **** galaxy
Even if you wanted to share it with her instead of me
I watched the old
gray haired
*******
approach my fence
in the back yard
today,
he - looking up at the
beautiful work of art,
a brilliant Magnolia
that had just flowered
like a proud yawning
lioness at sunset,
his gilded tool
with it’s dangling rope
to hang a miracle
because it had spilled
into his yard
like pink paper leftovers
everywhere,
he decided to repress it
bordering the fence
it was annoying him
and his domain
Rousseau was dead-on
about my chained freedom
the manacles were dangling
and I could hear
him severing and slicing
her arms
it somehow made him
feel better
and he moaned
his wretched realm
on his side of the trellis
and he walked away
after the limbs had fallen
to the ground
to make his cheap ***
ground chuck on rye –
it smelled like ****
the amputated Magnolia
and grease spinning
around my head
I stood there, quietly
thinking how this was
so unwarranted
and what a waste of time
this was,
the tree crying out to me
and somewhere else on earth
another yawning
with laughter.
the amount of flames and gems you are absorbing,
you smile like you aren't afraid of anything
you bloom in the shadow of the sun you receive
the only flower in the garden, I believe

you hold a flag of your own
strong combination of colors to be shown
a woman of an island
a woman of the cave
even ghosts are shaking, trembling,
for being totally brave

made of wood from trees for creating fires and watching on forest
made of rock for building fortress
made of city lights, a never ending light
made of magnet, attracting everyone so tight, intimidating at first sight
made of paintings by soul, crafted
a dauntless stone hearted
 Apr 2014 bekka walker
Legion
When you see her cry
     you get a rag,
a gentle delicate cloth.
                                        Lovingly grasp her hand
                                               and dab its tip;
                                       dry each tear as they come.
                                                           ­                               And ask each drop
                                                            ­                                   why it'd leave
                                                           ­                               such beautiful eyes.

  If she wishes
to be in the sky,
  tell her to go.
                              Take the sun ransom,
                              and replace its shining
                                    with her own.
                                                            ­          So you can see her every morning
                                                         ­                          and wish for her
                                                                ­                  return each night.

When you see her scars
  both visible and non-
    touch each gently.
                                             And remind her
                                       that each and every hurt
                                            she has survived,
                                                       ­                                 has only made her
                                                                ­                   that much more unique;
                                                         ­                              that much stronger.

  Show her that she
  is a special person
and is worthy of love.
                                     That she deserves the love
                                            she fears to give...
                                            show her so that
                                                            ­                     one day after you're gone
                                                            ­                      she can find the strength
                                                                ­                    to go on without you.

    Tell her that while
she might not be a goddess
far above worldly desires,
                                          that she is amazing,
                                         for just being herself
                                    for being that beautiful girl
                                                            ­                   who thinks herself damaged
                                                         ­                         when in truth she's just
                                                            ­                    a different kind of beautiful.

   And finally, love her.
  Like a boy loves a girl
Till she finally remembers
                                            that that's what she is:
                                          not a scar, not a goddess,
                                             not a star. But a girl.
                                                           ­                         That deserves to be loved.
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