I'm sorry but it comes to a point that I dont want to live anymore
I'm always asking the same **** question "what am I waiting for?"

I'm trying so hard to be ok and trust me I want to live
But I'm giving it my all , I just dont got no more to give

I'm honestly tired of everything I already feel dead
I have a headache, I'm tired of hearing these ******* voices in my head

I'm calling out for help , but you cant see a hand when its reaching from the dark
You wanna know my story? Look at my body and follow the paths of marks

This world is ******* me up and I'm tearing myself down as well
As much as I run, jump and play I can't help to feel locked up in a cell

I'm really tired of the pain, I'm trying to be strong
But you cant tell a girl to continue fighting when shes been fighting for to long

Why continue when nothing changes, I'm just going to be in the same place
Yes I'm Gods gift to the world but I am sorry God but I just feel like a waste of space

I just want everything to end, I just want the pain to go away
I just want to walk around able to actually say that I'm OK

I just wish I can start my life all over and fix things
But no I'm just the puppet of my mind being controlled by strings

God I am begging you to please help me
I just cant take it anymore, I just want to spread my wings and be free

Your child cant take it anymore, she doesnt want to disappoint you and give back the gift you gave her that is called "life"
How could your child use this gift when she doesn't even feel alive?

The sad thing is that some people dont understand and they see you but dont do anything about it
So I am tired of this game so I just wanna quit

Please help me....please

You helped
helped me get out of my comfort zone
you came to me
and I let you in
You listened to my story
and I let it out
I took off my mask
You turned me inside out

She said
I'm not beautiful
I'm a disaster
I'm destruction
I'm ugly

He said
No your not
that's what you see and try to believe
in your reflection
what I see is beauty
the same girl that never changed herself to be someone else
she's *******
especially in my eyes
I just cant explain how beautiful you are
you create the demons
but in my eyes
your angels destroy them

Once I lost you
I lost me too
you were apart of me

but now your gone

trying to move on
with someone new
my mind is trying to find ways to stop the pain
but my heart is running back to you

Is moving on really stopping the pain?
How can you move on
when you don't remember how to feel ?
or love?

thats when I met him
honestly wish I never did
it was just two emotionless bodies
acting out "love"

I wish I never did the things I did
but I cant go back

wish I could

he was a big mistake
but not a regret

he walked into my life at the wrong time
but he was also the wrong guy to walk into my life in the first place

I hope someday I can feel the same love I did before
better yet even more

I hope one day I can fall in love again
this time I dont **** it up

and makes me forget the pain

and forget my past....especially him

so if someone ask me one day "how is he?" (my first love)
I can smile and mean it and say "hes fine"
without caring or feeling triggered
every time someone mentions his name
better yet
or "who's?"

I loved you
when I didn't love myself
Said you loved me
But you only loved yourself

-Layton Greene

She was a girl that loved to write
When 4th grade hit that's where she was inspired to write her story
The beauty started to fade, she started losing her sight

Nobody knew who she really was
Everyone thought she was ok
All she wanted was to feel love

Things got worse
Her escape was her notebook and her pen
Instead of her life feeling like a blessing, it felt like a curse

She knew she didn't have anyone to vent to
And she was all alone crying in the darkness
She's a fighter, she's trying so hard not to lose

She was the girl to always hand people her heart but it was either stolen,kicked or tossed
The carvings on the papers started to get deeper
Making sure she's able to follow the sentences and not get lost

The pain increased,  she became tired
Her heart started to become cold
Now she doesn't know such thing as a “fighter”

After each day passed
She wrote less
Her mind started consuming her, She knows she won't last

The ink has left the pages and found a new home on her skin
Her story was slowly being written on her body
Instead of her work being beaty, it started to become pure sin

She was a book full of different stories
The writing on her skin said it all
Its hard to find what you're looking for, even if her stories were in different categories

She started to look ill
She knew her time was coming
Realizing nobody will know how she feels

Her book is almost finished
The ink is starting to run out
Cherish those last pages, sit down and listen

The book is coming to end
She puts the pen down
She knows her new story is going to begin


She reads her own book
And smiles at the work she has done
She left behind her story, so the people that needs it the most can look

She was her own library, but only had one book
She was the girl that took the ******* she was going through and made a story out of it
She left it behind so the people like her can have hope

The last sentence on the last page said
“Our story isnt over”
It's true so keep that in your head

Everything will be ok
Sit down and read her story
God is watching over us, you can fight another day
Just pray
I promise you will be ok


She's an author that everyone wanted to know
Everyone wanted to know her story

She was young when she committed
Her friends yell her name
but its like shes not there
shes gone
her mind committed suicide a long time ago
its going insane now

So whats the point of living
when your not there
her heart is already on the edge of giving up
with all the blows that it took

its like living without an soul
its just a body
not really a corpse
because she is still breathing

but shes not alive either

As I started putting the stuff he gave to me in a box
I seen the memories we shared flashing before my eyes

He told me he " loved me"
I looked at him with disbelief
Put my head down and chuckled a little
And told him
The only reason why you love me is
Because
You have nobody else to love
Not even yourself
You hate yourself so much
To the point
That you can't even pretend
To love yourself
You don't really love me
You just think you do

But I don't understand
You don't love yourself because
your broken
I'm your reflection
and you love me?

anxiety is like a prison
it keeps you locked up
sometimes you know when you're coming out
and sometimes you don't
sometimes it can be forever and sometimes it can be an execution

anxiety is like the worst disease you can have
it convinces your brain
that something is hurting you
making you shut down your body
sometimes it just disappears ...for now

anxiety is like a haunted house
it seems pretty cool and scary to go into
but once it scares you to a point
you're never gonna want to come back


anxiety is like a voice following you
it's like the other half of you....but bad
it knows your insecurities,weaknesses, and mistakes
and uses them against you
it's to the point where that would be the
only voice you can hear

anxiety is like the society
it breaks your whole world apart
it abuses it, spits on it , chews it
then spits it back out

anxiety is like your best friend
but your worst enemy
it will comfort you
then make you feel like ****

and that's what it feels like have ...anxiety

You are so beautiful
you are one of a kind
I cant help from noticing you
and staring into your eyes
your silky brown hair that flows down to your back
or the freckles on your face that lights up Gods place
and don't forget that beautiful smile
that you try to keep in a straight line
but you cant
because you love to laugh and smile
one phrase you like to say is " I'm fine "
I wish you were here
but your just an imaged that I made up in my mind

Even with all this air in the world
Its still hard to breathe

Don't call me hot
don't call me ****
don't call me gorgeous
don't call me cute
I don't want to be called that
the proper word is "beautiful"

Him: Do you love me?

Me: That question doesn't matter right now, the question is do I  love me?

Instead of talking and thinking about
how your future outcome will be

with the stacks of money
you say you will have
the expensive cars
you will drive
the big house
you will live

Instead of that how about you
start talking about the plans
your going to make in your present
to get you a step closer to your dream
Or start thinking about what you are
going to do tomorrow
or today
that will bring you to the right path

Instead of thinking about your destination
how about you think about the steps you
need to take to get to your destination
because you can't get there without
without yourself and without dedication

When are you going to start?
What are you going to do?
Where are you going to go?
Who do you want to be?

If you want to make it to your
luxurious lifestyle
you need to work hard
and start now

the curtains opened
the show started off great
it lasted for a while before it was to late
all the lights flashing on her beautiful face
she was having a great time
but she had to be careful just in case
she showed the talents she can do and she also embraced
she showed the whole world what she can do
but the works that she did it showed the truth
she enjoyed what she did it expressed her true colors
she did an amazing job but sadly the show was over
when the audience clapped and cheered she was uncertain
and before you know it
in the blink of an eye
that's were it was time to close the curtains

She was in love with poetry
He didn't know why
he seen it as just words on a page
and sentences that rhyme

But it was more then just sentences
They told her story
In the dark, these words were her light
and had so much glory

He was the type of guy
that didn't know how to express his feelings
That's why he didn't understand
But the way she had a passion
for every word she read
he found that very appealing

One day she sat him down
to read with her
As she read
He finally started to know
That it wasn't just words
The meanings started to show

Now he understood why she was in love with poetry
The words can relate to her
He's glad he understands and finally see
Before, everything was such a blur

But now its not, for some reason
He started to love poetry too
Not because of the meanings and what they were
But because he didn't know
how to express his feelings
and what he was reading explained everything
he wanted to say to her

Your mouth was a blessing and now its a weapon

How can you love someone like me
Can you show me how you do it
So we can both be on the same page

You want me to stay and I'm here
but your actions dont back it up

you dont want me to move on
but you push me away

you say you want to be with me
but find ways not to be

when your feeling ******, I'm your girl
but when we have a regular convo I'm not

Its hard to move on
but I know I want to
even as much as it hurts
because I know I deserve better
i don't deserve this

the time I finally accept this and move on
your going to come back begging to be together
but when that times I'm not going back
how come you couldnt come back when I wanted to fix things ?

that one guy I saw that afternoon
he looked strangely odd
I didn't even bother to introduce myself
but surprisingly he came to me
that first glance
I knew he was the one
not noticing his silver tongue
I fell in love
I gave him everything
I was their for him
I supported him
I loved him
the only thing he had was his silver tongue
he only had his compliments which didn't bother
but he hasn't showed it with action
that day he went to work
I haven't seen him ever since
I only remember the foot steps he left on the muddy ground
so that afternoon I went to the same place to see if he will come back
but he never did
I guess I never loved him
I fell in love with his silver tongue

In the path of trying to find myself
I ended up finding you

I've never thought I'll ever cross paths with you
but I did

what stopped me from continuing my journey
was the look in your eyes

as if you were me

you stripped away all the pain for a bit
and it felt good

the vibe I felt planted my feet into the grown
and I couldnt even move

you kissed away the pain
cleaning up the mess that they made
and it wasn't even yours

you took my past and carried it on your shoulders
you held my heart so gently, showing so much love
that it drove the hatred it had back to where it belonged

how..how did you do this? How do you have the power to do this

you revived me

how did you do it?

How did you give me the chance to be able to feel what love was again?

it felt so weird

my heart didnt feel this in so long
it forgotten to recognize love
as if someone got into an accident and lost all there memory

you made me remember
it felt so new
you revived my heart

filling up a hatred body with love
this is probably a good idea...
if I know what love is
I can probably give myself the chance to love myself too

something I thought was impossible to do

but it just doesnt add up

how could a broken soul revive a broken soul?

you saved me

You're a big reason why I hate people

Love is a drug
But even addicts can get better

Sweet angel from above
They sent you to this world full of evil
Thinking you would find love but instead you found hatred
They yanked and plucked your feathers and laughed until you were naked
And left you helpless and alone in the dark
I'm sorry they did that
You were only trying to find love
But instead they broke your wings because you were different
They wanted to make you like them
And that was human

It hurts knowing the person you thought was your friend
never wanted to be your friend
showing up at your locker every day to say "hey"
passing notes
listening
picking on each other
motivating each other
I thought he was my friend
he only did those things because he expected more
he didn't want to be my friend
he wanted to be my boyfriend
yet he knew I wasn't looking for anything
and now he's gone
because when he popped the question
I said....no
I'm not hurt because of what he was trying to do
I am hurt that the fact he did those things
and yet I thought he was doing those things
because he was my friend

Get lost in the moment because that moment wont be here forever.

Please take an easy
Also don't rush me when we kiss
This means a lot to me
I am glad that you came into my life
you must be a very special guy then
I've waited for many years for this moment
I have trust issues
and I was scared to have my first kiss because
I was scared of them taking everything and leaving
this meant a lot to me and I didn't want to just give it to anybody
I wanted to give it to someone that deserves it
someone that I love
and that loves me  
and I've been with for a long time
you shown me that I can love again
that I can trust again
you shown me that you are the one
you win, you shown me that you deserve it
even if you leave I wont regret thing
because I know I loved it in the moment
thank you for loving me for who I am
and accepting me with open arms
and staying by my side even if I am a disaster
I love you

Even if I move on
I can never stop loving you
I can never forget you
Even if I'm with someone else in the future
you will be in the back of my mind
but locked up in a box titled "happy memories"
Which they should be called "lost memories"
Even though your lost now
you still wonder in the past
and sometimes I cant help to take a step back
Because it brings me satisfaction just thinking about you
Even though they always tell me to move forward
but sometimes I can't help it
Even though I'm single now my heart is still taken by you
I can be with someone else
But I would still be loving you

Things will get better
but it will get better if you let it
and if you do something about it

How come every relationship I'm in
You always sneak into my thoughts

I am trying to forget you
But the more I try to forget
the more I think about you


I don't like you
so why are you constantly in my head

My boyfriend is
the last thing I think about
before I fall asleep

But you tend to sneak into my dreams

My boyfriend is
the first thing I think about
when I wake up

But your the one who sneaks into my thoughts
during the day

But why?

Why do I care so much

How come in every relationship I'm in
You're always around the most

Friend: Are you going to be ok?
Me: yeah... hopefully
Friend: It's not like we have a choice
Me: Paused whispers...yeah

It was hard for me to feel love again
When he left
All my butterflies in my stomach died
But when I met you
All my butterflies revived
And that moment I knew
What love felt like again

My home feels like an abandon house
When I come home I feel so alone
even though there's people here
it feels like there's nobody

I wish you were the mother I needed

But don't worry

I'm going to be the mother I needed
for my children

Its been almost a year since you been gone
deleted our pictures
erased you from my contacts

But why can't I delete or erase you from my head?

I moved on and found someone new
I am happy
so why?
why do you pop up in my head
time to time
when I least expect it
I don't want to think about you anymore
why do I think about you
when you don't think about me

Sometimes I wish I never met you
I wish that I didn't know your name

Your making my heart go against my head
because my thoughts are hurting my heart
just thinking about the past
just thinking about you
putting my heart through all this pain
but its my fault because
my mind became addicted to you

Feels like I am walking on broken glass

Please get out of my head
run into someone else's thoughts
not mine
I'm trying to fall asleep

But the thought of you keeps me up

Its sad to say that I am a broken girl
a lost soul hoping to be found one day
born in the darkness, one day hoping to be set free into the light

But I am a broken soul with big dreams
I am a lost soul, trying to find my home
yes I was born in the darkness
but that doesn't mean I stop searching in the dark
Ive been through a lot
and all I want to feel is love
yes I want to feel love from another soul
but I want the love from something that feels impossible to have
and thats the love from myself

I am a survivor
with physical and spiritual battle scars
I'm a fighter and I dont want to give up
I know theirs times that I want to , but I cant

I'm a girl with a fake smile
you wouldn't suspect a thing
but just know
I am broken
but I am healing

I blossomed
and became more then just a
confused depressed girl in a dysfunctional family
I became me