The rain drops fly.
The clock ticks by.
But she is still awake.

Again the tides swells fiercely
In a wave of hindersome despair
Relentless it berates my shores
Leaving me cold and numb
Desperately gasping for air
For the hundredth time

Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray I'm not in too deep.
I just always end invested.
The feelings never leave me rested.
I toss and turn every night,
Just hoping that you're alright.
Why do I have to be so nice.
I've made this mistake more than twice.
I'm afraid it's too late to change.
I've always been a bit strange.
It's probably my largest fall,
But I guess it's not bad at all.
It's because of you my mind's mayhem,
Thank you lord, amen

And yeah,
Maybe it hurt more than I lead on
And yeah,
It still does hurt in every way as before
But now,
I know that everything is temporary
And that,
Is what makes everyday worth it
                             and then some~

It boils and brews, but nothing can I do.
It fill me up to the top, and spills over.
I pace and wait trying to ease my restless state.
Your word won't help please don't try.
They just fuel the blaze, the tears.
Why try to explain when you won't hear.
A yonder I ponder will it ever get better.
If I cool the the hum of the song we sung.
And wish to the starry skies above.
I wish to be rid of the anger the pain the tears.
Go to a tier of simple simplicity.
A world just right for me.

the warmth was so near; I could nearly see it.
oranges, reds, blues.  The thought burned in my memory.
the intense heat of the flickering flame, so wonderful.
I had traveled so far in the cold, and finally savior!
but in an instant as swift as the hope flooded through me,
it drained out, leaving me colder than before.

I know that I did this to myself
subconsciously and silently
repulsive and frightening
to all but the select few
minds whom run on delusion

Somehow I forget how to breathe
        The more violent the intake
   The more my famished lungs need
       *I'm a human drowning in air

Everything is ending,
So here I sit, waiting it out alone
Though the time on the clock
Is moving ever so slow

I wish to       down the rabbit hole into fantasy.
               **fall

On this old red carpet I once laid,
For five years and five days.
Every day I would lay on my own,
But I never really was alone.

The rich warmth on this ground.
Much like a quilt would surround.
I would block out all the sound,
Just laying on the carpet; the ground.

When the sixth day showed its color,
The measurements showed I was taller.
The magic in my world was gone.
All to the fault of the sixth dawn.

I revisit again wishing I was then.
On the red carpet the way I'd been.
Sometimes I like how the past can be.
Forever on the old red carpet will be me.

I'm not afraid
that others won't forgive me
but I am afraid that
I won't forgive myself

Am I
Lost again?                        
                                                                uncertain
In my own world
    Splashing in puddles.                    
                                                  happily

While dancing in these tempestuous fields of my life I am now aware that
                                          I am not lost
                                                                **I am found

A small slow creak and a shadow peeks,
Behind an unexpecting corner.
You close your eyes, but to your surprise when you open,
The shadow is gone,
But a presence you can sence around every turn,
The conditions right in the dead of night with a
fierce howling wind,
And soon you realize through sloppy tears the danger is swiftly drawing closer!
Creak.. Creak... Creak!
The lump in your gut, seemed to force you out of your frozen rut.
The edrenelin took over then!
Relying on touch for your eyes were usless from crying too much.
The beat of your heart stretched from your ears to your feet.
Your arms flailed and your feet flew,
But still you felt the hot breath on your neck it was
the end you just knew.
A nervous tremor in your leg threw you forward right onto your back.
Instantly your eyes traveled to the onyx bulbs of death that stared you down,
Cloaked completely in black.
As he reached a boney hand around your throat,
It didn't matter you couldn't breath either way,
Just when you could see the light of savior...
It spoke...
The most sinister slither slid out of his covered lips "I'll see you in hell." A small smile was then visible through his mask.
From sheer fright I gasped my last breath of air, and out of the strangest things to cross my mind all I could think is 'goodnight.'

I remember when we
Would just walk
Would just talk
Just to pass the flimsy hours

Oh how the sun taunted us
Rosy cheeks
Moon meek
The best time of my life

Too soon I was alone where we
Would just walk
Would just talk
Those hours seemed precious now

No more pink cheeks
Pale and white
Oh a fright
I couldn't accept goodbye

They say the time will come
When I run
When I have fun
For me the clocks seemed to stop

With every year that I age,
        My mind grows two,
    Maybe that's why,
              I used to love you,
                               .......
             *And you used to love me too.

Within each other
  they found home.

So many times I've tried,
                             and so many times I've died.*

Bringing myself up every time
from the ashes of the past,
they burn with such sinister intensity.
Because hatred fuels the dancing flames,

                             *but I now know.
                     I am the Phoenix.

I'll never tell you how I feel
the way I've lived my short years
Smile of the lips, cadence in my walk
I'm never honest when you want to talk
Ill say this and that, but my words will lack
Because what I mean, I always take back
I'm not trying to be mean, with you I'm not mad
Just right now, my thoughts are rather sad
I'll never tell you how I feel

it should be simple...
I just cant spit out the words.
three words I cant say.
<3

Why do I feel this way?
It's like my life's a play,
Smiling faces masquerading,
Verbatim to the script.
Why is my heart so sad?
You weren't mine to have.
You had me going,
I should've know but,
Your lies deceived me now,
I hope you can see what you've done to me,
As you watch me standing barely breathing.
I've made it through worse weather,
Without you I can get better,
But with you I my loose directions,
Spinning round my hearts reflecting,
I'm lost.
Do you remember me,
All what we use to be,
But now that's over,
You've grown colder,
Where did you go?
Remember when you loved me?
Now I think how could you leave,
You were my everything,
Now I,
I am lost.

If I could say what I think.
Maybe I wouldn't feel empty.
Because just maybe you would stay.
But now I feel my hour glass,
is running on nothing,
From the past laughter,
To the present silence,
Though thousands of faces that pass by,
I'm still here.
My shallow breaths, and small frame,
Still supporting life,
Just as much as the massive oak,
That bids me a good morrow as i pass,
Or the wind who calls me home,
You don't notice at all?
Can't you see!
I'm still here.
You're satisfied with what you see,
But you know don't you,
You know there's much more then that,
No matter how much you want to rid me,
No matter what you make your self believe,
I'm still here.

Sanity is knowing, there is no such thing as sanity.

its
cloaked in red
100 feet tall
1000 feet small
rough to the touch
but to tempt me
oh the sweet smell
just there to give me hell
sometimes a cube
sometimes a rock
but to me in my life
its writers block

I guess a life of ease isn't meant for a sinner like me.

Do you give, or take?
Should I bend, or should I break?
When am I too much?

Do you grieve out loud?
Should I be modest, or proud?
Does it get easy?

When everyone leaves your reminded
            
            though...
              
                                *it dwells within always

I am
      just a
               lovable ghost.

This name I get called by my host.
Here one minuet...
                                  gone the next,
   Though
                          I never came,
                          and never I left.

maybe if I close both eyes and pray it'll go away, because if I refuse to see it how can it stay?

If I had to pick
my favorite thing to do
Why of course
my love I would say
Spending all the time
I can with you

I crave you.
      Every single p
                              i
                           e
                         c
                          e    
                             Calling me towards you
                                   Wispering in my every thought
   "Stay with me!"
Oh how I wish I could              

Alas my sweet bed for I must face the day, but believe me when I say I'll be back when night falls
                                  *My love

delicate...
             beautiful...
     deceiving...
                          tempting you to touch.
                                                                  though the petals be soft,
                                          the thorns cut,
                            deep.

and you truly have no clue.
not even a sense, or capacity
of what you've done.

that's fine though, I'm okay now.
but, you won't be, not after you realize
That you're alone.

~and there's no one left to blame other than yourself~

He more than anything else
Craved normality
So he kissed her
While thinking about *him