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It used to be
exciting just before the dawn
It used to be
amazing to see a shooting star's swarm
It used to be
frightening to stand out in a storm
It used to be
all of these and so so so much more

I used to marvel
at the ways that were of woman
I used to marvel
at the way a baby lay sleeping
I used to do a lot of things
that now I would not undertake
I used to do a lot things
that I now know were mistakes

I used to , used to ,
but now I'm all used up
I am awake before the dawn
but it wasn't by choice or fate
And as I search a cloudless sky
looking for the star that passed me by
I'm thinking to myself
"used to" comes softly with a sigh
 Mar 2016 Aztec Warrior
princessv
The same person that broke you
**can't fix you
Just saying
Rebellious and insolent
my thoughts return to seek for you
to find an empty fighting ground; there
long ago two hearts collapsed in love
insane

And so I try again
as I take a final blow
and watch my soul’s remains
laying face up mid-sun
not knowing how to live
not knowing how to finish dying
holding a permanent stance
against letting you go
there is no final breath

I am without your many shields
exposed ever so fatally in the promise
to protect
and bleed in different shades of red
as I remember your left hand
gently covering my face
while the right swift and skilled
split my heart in two
beyond hope or repair

I am without complaint in all your strength
and in the bluest of your hues
There is no truth, if not, but in your eyes; oceans and skies now unattainable.
In the realm of rumour
wise men suggest
when it is dark enough
you will see the stars

In the fury and the mire of human veins
fragments of dreams and memories
used to spring loose

from my crowded mind
unsettled, darting dreams
shouting slogans in the noisy air.

In the kingdom
of saliva and dust
I have ceased to dream

And soon
I will soon cease
to exist.


© M.L.Emmett
original unpublished poem 'Reality' 07/02/99;  revised 16/02/2016
we shall not leave this world alive
as we’ll discover at the end of our life

yet even though we know all that
we still cannot imagine being not
I have held
softly pulsing
newborn heartbeat fluttering
breath of love, dying
arc of a life, trying
not to cling
too tightly
to anything

I have touched
directly to my tongue
felt the jolt
spark my lips
so pure
crystallized
I became
undone

I have fought
with abundant faith
despite knowing
the human continuum
feckless tide
love or hate
maybe it really is
up to fate

I have radiated
divine conductor
electric soul
it flows in me
it flows in you
we are all
pure energy
clean-burning fuel
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