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Jan 2017 · 1.4k
For Mom: b. 1925; d. 2016
Aztec Warrior Jan 2017
For Mom:
(b. 1925; d.2016)*

She held on to the sunlight
longer than anyone thought.
Palms swayed as she breathed
in all her strength,
all her power
until it all calmed
Night cooled
as barren
descends, now
a dark that sings no stars
or sweet songs of life.
Her last breath
carried by crows
brushed across my cheek quietly
as I did not get to her in time.

As my sorrow fingered with my heart,
I saw the hungry abyss descend with her smile,
Still I heard in her whisper,
“do not mourn for me,
like our ancestors before,
I have found the balance
in natural tones;
in the music of stars
and in the songs playing
on Owl’s wings.
Do not mourn for me, my loves
I am alive still in the flow of worlds.”

There is a weight
taller than Denali;
heavier than Big Mountain;
I carry it with me
in my back pack
next to my jeans and dreams
as I follow her tracks,
smiling with her life.

Aztec Warrior/redzone  12.29.16

For all of you who "liked" and or commented on this poem I thank you from the bottom of my heart... your words are a comfort to me and my dad (I showed him the comments)... you have touched us deeply... I hope all of you the best...

And Nagi, you are wonderful in your kindness and a special thanks for shinning a "light" on this poem....

....thanks for reading
music is from Dax Johnson,  "Rain"
Jan 2017 · 925
I Was Told
Aztec Warrior Jan 2017
I Was Told**

Well, I was told,
but who listens
when a heart is on fire.
I was warned
but you turned me to ash,
and I burnt so passionately
in your arms.

There’s a fiery madness here
found in your silent words
and I was warned
your touch would freeze
my heart in frost bitten sanity.
But it doesn’t matter
as this madness swallowed me whole
and I need to know
are you real;
do you care?
Or am I
just the ash falling
from your fingertips,
like a smoking cigarette
still burning in madness.

Aztec Warrior/redzone  12.8.16
.....thanks for reading.... music is  "Madness" by Muse
Jan 2017 · 992
Mother Is A Song
Aztec Warrior Jan 2017
Mother Is A Song**

I was born on the wind
swirling through tall trees,
downstream fed valleys
into open, high grass plains
where nights twinkle stars
and days are a warm yellow
because Mother is a song.

I was raised on her voice,
carried by wrens’ wings,
spoken in blue jay chatter
that told of black soil
giving life to African Violets
sprinkled neath tall Sequoia
as each word whispered her name,
cause Mother was a song
and I was born
to be her singer.

She often spoke in violins
sounding like a fast-moving rill
cascading over smooth rock
and deep cello metaphor
dancing gleefully through
the eons old gorge
while oboeing calmly
toward the delta’s sea.
Her seas, symphonies of blue-green
waves playing with whale pod sonatas,
dolphin leaping concertos
as clown fish nestle among coral
listening to tides and meter
where all life began
and now witnessing death.

Mother is a song
and I am born on her cymbals,
loud and angry like thunder;
raised to be her lightning singer.

Mother is a song
no one listens to anymore.

Aztec Warrior/redzone  11.30.16
(NOTE: an ode to the large death of coral in Australia’s Great Barrier Reef due to rising sea temperatures and pollution)
...thanks for reading
Nov 2016 · 3.6k
In The Name of Humanity
Aztec Warrior Nov 2016
Some people say and will say, let us unite and heal. Unite round what exactly? Fascism??  This is at best a pipe dream and in reality a nightmare for billions of people everywhere on the planet. There can be and there should be no unity with fascists and a program of global violence and destruction (already under way for several centuries now)..  An historical reference: People who say this are actually saying "be good Germans" do not protest or resist the death camps and slaughter of Jews and others. Their cry: "Uber Germany - Uber Alles" - "God, Fatherland, and Motherhood".  In our case 2016, it is non whites, Black, Muslims, Mexicans, GLTQ people, women and abortion rights, and the environment that will be the targets of this "resurrent America"... and why would anyone want to "unite " with this?? In the name of humanity, I will not unite, collaborate, conciliate, nor capitulate to a fascist America.

In this light I offer a statement / message that is being distributed throughout this country and where ever people are protesting and resisting, including to people in other countries who are looking to us to see what we will do. Here is the link:­html

While I encourage everyone to read  by following the link, I am also going to post the message below.

In the Name of Humanity,
We REFUSE To Accept a Fascist America
Rise Up... Get Into The Streets... Unite With People Everywhere
to Build Up Resistance in Every Way You Can
Don’t Stop: Don’t Conciliate... Don’t Accommodate... Don’t Collaborate

Donald Trump has now won the presidency. Under the slogan “Make America Great Again,” he has viciously attacked Mexicans and Muslims, threatened to deport millions and boasted that he will build walls and close borders. He incites people to fear and hate those who are “different,” or who come from other countries or nationalities, or practice different religions. He crudely demeans and degrades women, and openly boasts about molesting them. He’s a champion of white supremacy who has insulted and threatened Black people, and whipped up a racist lynch-mob mentality. Trump has mocked the disabled.  He is an aggressive and unapologetic militarist, who threatens to use nuclear weapons and will have his fingers on the nuclear codes. He openly advocates war crimes and crimes against humanity"including torture and killing the families of people accused of terrorism. He plans to pack the Supreme Court with justices who will gut and reverse the right to abortion, gay rights, and other important legal rights. He calls climate change a hoax and his policies will wreak further devastation on the environment. He has attacked and threatened the press and stirred up his supporters to do the same. Trump has utter contempt for facts and the truth, and consistently lies to advance his agenda. As for the rule of law, Trump went so far as to openly threaten his opponent, Hillary Clinton, not only with jail, but even assassination. Donald Trump is an outright fascist. And he is now the president-elect.

Fascism is a very serious thing. Fascism foments and relies on xenophobic nationalism, racism, and the aggressive reinstitution of oppressive “traditional values.” Fascism feeds on and encourages the threat and use of violence to build a movement and come to power. Fascism, once in power, essentially eliminates traditional democratic rights. Fascism attacks, jails, and executes its opponents, and launches violent mob attacks on “minorities.” In **** Germany in the 1930s and ’40s, under ******, fascism did all these things. They imprisoned millions in concentration camps and exterminated millions of Jews, Roma people (Gypsies), and other “undesirables.” And ****** did almost all of this through the established institutions and the “rule of law.” This is where this goes. And yes, ****** himself could “talk graciously” when he felt it would serve his interests and lull his opponents.

Trump did not even win the popular vote, (even though he did win the “electoral college” which decides elections in the U.S.). ****** himself came to power through democratic procedures, including through the process of elections. Should people have accepted ******?! Unfortunately, they did, at a horrific cost to humanity. Today, with nuclear weapons, that cost could be far higher.  

In the name of humanity, we must refuse to accept a fascist America!
The fact that Trump won as many votes as he did must be understood. The fact that he got more than even 10 percent of the vote is disgraceful and reveals some very ugly things about America. So why did this happen? The world today is turbulent, full of changes. Those who supported Trump’s fascist program were overwhelmingly sections of white people, especially but not only white men, who yearn for the days of open white supremacy and American global *******, and the blatant subjugation of women. A significant minority of white people did oppose him, but we have to confront how deep the racism, the national chauvinism, and the hatred of women is woven into this society... and not give in to this, but vigorously challenge and fiercely oppose it. 

But even more than this, Trump was backed by powerful forces in this society. Beyond those who directly supported him, the media, the Democratic Party, and others treated him as a legitimate candidate, refused to call him out as the fascist he is, and now call on everyone to accept his ascension to power. All the major powerful forces in this society bear the responsibility"it is they who have, over decades, either built up this fascist force or have “enabled” it.

You cannot try to “wait things out” with fascists. Those who lived through ******’s Germany and sat on the sidelines, looking on as ****** rounded up one group after another, became shameful collaborators with monstrous crimes against humanity. Trump and his regime must be resisted and defied, beginning now, in many different ways and in every corner of society. 

Reconciliation and collaboration would be nothing less than criminal and deadly. Literally. Come together... resist... and let the whole world know that we will not allow this to stand!
it is a wonderful sight here in NYC to see so many youth and others out protesting, marching and opposing a fascist America....
Oct 2016 · 1.0k
"Bright Star"
Aztec Warrior Oct 2016
On this Friday night a poem to share with all who wish someone would write them a love poem. Or in some other show of affection give them love and kindness.

Bright Star  
           by John Keats

Bright star, would I were steadfast as thou art —
Not in lone splendour hung aloft the night
And watching, with eternal lids apart,
Like Nature's patient, sleepless Eremite,
The moving waters at their priest like task
Of pure ablution round earth's human shores,
Or gazing on the new soft-fallen mask
Of snow upon the mountains and the moors —
No — yet still stedfast, still unchangeable,
Pillow'd upon my fair love's ripening breast,
To feel for ever its soft swell and fall,
Awake for ever in a sweet unrest,
Still, still to hear her tender-taken breath,
And so live ever — or else swoon to death.

I think if I would write a poem of love for the one I love,
It would be to simply voice softly in her ear, this poem written
by John Keats and given to his love,  ***** Brawne….  redzone to_,
a softly voiced enchantment in the night’s sky.
....thanks for reading...

I didn't write the poem, Keats did... Bright Star besides being a poem he wrote to his beloved, was also the movie made of this love... a bitter sweet and tragic love story...

I put this piece together 9/30 as a "Friday Night" poem and it was inspire by a friend who said they wish someone would write them a love poem...
Oct 2016 · 498
A Story..... Once
Aztec Warrior Oct 2016
“Once upon a time”:…
     or so the stories go;
hell even the Raven’s Poe
used these words:
     “once upon a midnight dreary.”
But who is this
knocking at my door?
She was the
in my life
and I welcomed her in
once upon a time.
Upon a time
this time curved around her face
touching sweet dimples,
lips upon my finger tips
and felt time
fold in upon itself
     Upon a once
raging fire
knocking at my door
promising more….
time upon a once

Aztec Warrior/redzone  10.15.16
..... thanks for reading...
Oct 2016 · 364
Aztec Warrior Oct 2016

Her season,  a sweet nectar,
the fragrance of fresh cut clover
on a Spring day.
She fills rainbows with colors.
She is….   just
arms, legs,
hair and lips,
just kisses and delight
morning, noon and night.
She is…    just
Summer heat
swirling Autumn leaves
Winter’s freeze
and a Spring shower with me.
She makes me feel
In the air she breaths
I see
      I feel everything!
She is…   just
      my beloved.
Aztec Warrior/redzone  10.14.16
(Note: still thinking about the music in “Youth” and the movie)
....thank you for reading...  music is from the movie
Oct 2016 · 472
Aztec Warrior Oct 2016

A song
     in the emotions
sung as melodies,
into the fabric of time
drifting along the edges
    of a night sky
and into your heart.

A simple song
          we are
     in widening circles
continuous and complete
     in lover’s ache
     as in your touch,
     fingers speak soliloquy
and I create etudes,
     opus and symphony,
     my love to you.

We are a simple song,
a rainbow, colorful

Aztec Warrior/redzone 10.11.16
(Note: written after watching an art film- “Youth)
....thanks for reading...  music is from the movie..
Oct 2016 · 393
Friday Night Music Part 2
Aztec Warrior Oct 2016
Friday Night Music: Part 2
Untamed Heart**

My untamed heart has fallen for you
more than I could ever say,
more than I ever should.
You are my blue moon
on a cloudless night;
you are my peace
soothing this chaotic heart.
And in my dreams
I see your face knowing
“the greatest thing
is to love
and be loved in return”.

Aztec Warrior/redzone  9.30.16
Note: quoted lines are from the song “Nature Boy”
By Nat King Cole and was in the movie “Untamed Heart”
(Marisa Tomei and Christian Slatter) which is one of the
Best tragic love stories. The music link:
Oct 2016 · 648
Friday Night Music Part 1
Aztec Warrior Oct 2016
Friday Night Music Part1
“Cherry Cola”**

A Side:
“ooh I know I want you
don’t know if I need you
but ooh I’d die to find out”

so the song begins
and like “chicka cherry cola”
you came into my life
with intoxicating sways
and dragon breathing fire
and I’m inspired to drink
you in some more,
double shot straight up.

B side:
You say-
“come stand a little bit closer
Breath in and get a bit higher”.
Come, find out
What these lips are all about.

Aztec Warrior/redzone  9.30.16
Note:  the quoted lines are from the song “I Want You”
By Savage Garden. The song is embedded below
music ink:
Oct 2016 · 653
Crows On A Rainy Morning
Aztec Warrior Oct 2016
Crows On A Rainy Morning**

It’s a rainy morning
since you’ve been gone,
the grey consumes and I just moan.
Crows visit and circle my home
with their mocking caw, caw
cawing me, calling me,
while pecking my eyes, reminding me I’m alone.
They gather on the Juniper,
on my clothes line tearing the shirts of mine
you always wore,
offering me dropped black feathers
to build a dream catcher
so I can relive all the nightmares
of losing you.

Mornings use to be alive with the scent of you,
singing our old songs as you dressed for the day
while I made us coffee, strong,
rich and dark, the way you liked it
and we would sit under the oak
down by the stream.
But first, always first
we faced in all directions one by one
giving thanks to the rising sun,
to Grandmother for another day,
to Grandfather’s balance.
On most days we listened to the river
singing songs to the trees,
hear strange tales of deer playing tag with
wildflowers and dandelion.
Sometimes the old back bear would come by
showing her cubs how to fish.
I will remember these days,
hold them to my heart.
They were days made by you,
by your touch on my face
as you leaned into me,
by your sandalwood scent.

Now, years later, it is a cold,
rainy morning as the grey consumes me
to its moan.

Aztec Warrior/redzone  9.28.16
...thanks for reading... wasn't able to earlier so here is link to the music that goes with this poem... "Moan", by Robert Cray:
Oct 2016 · 1000
The Notebook
Aztec Warrior Oct 2016
The Notebook

A small leaf fell from the notebook. It was Autumn colored transparency, gentle to the touch, not dried and brittle, but still seemed alive with vibrancy. Its shape was unusual to me and I discovered the tree it came from died out thousands of years ago.

The notebook, old leather bound, seemed just as old. A bit larger than my hand, you could feel wear of millennia in the symbols etched and raised on the back and spine. On the cover, a leafless, ancient and gnarly tree. It’s trunk at least 10 men, arms stretched around, with fat, ugly limbs touching the sky. It felt alive, breathing as my fingers brushed across the tree and symbols below it. An exciting warmth flowed in my mind and without really thinking, I picked up my pen and wrote my name atop the first page.

It made me smile, cause as I wrote “REDZONE”, the letters turned into ancient, ornate symbols and the space around me shifted, almost a dimensional phase in astral synchronicity but a dream walk reality. The paper, handmade papayra, drank in the ink coloring it with the passion of Time, licorice and figments of imagination.

Under my name, more symbols appeared smelling of musk, jasmine and blue nile; the words: “POET, WRITER, SINGER OF IMAGES AND PAINTER OF WORDS.” In smaller word symbols: “Keeper of our Stories and Origins”.

As I began to understand the notebook’s meaning, a single leaf materialized on the ancient tree. And a second small leaf of Autumn’s design formed as I wrote:
                                 Small leaves unfolding
                            In Autumn’s hue, written in
                                Sun rise morning dew.
                                 Leaves painted by words
                            Will cover this ancient tree
                                 With life origins.

Aztec Warrior/redzone 9.26.16
while I was staying with family past few weeks, my grandson Nicky gave me a hand made leather bound with hand made paper, notebook... he said that I should fill it up with poems and give it back to him... the above prose poem is the first entry..

hope you enjoy reading as I had in writing it...
Sep 2016 · 754
Aztec Warrior Sep 2016

cool jazz smooths out the day
as a blue haze swirls
around the tables;
the sax played around
with your long legg’d sway
as you near’d the table
and handed me a very *****
***** martini
with a wildly wonderful
red lip’d smile.
how could I resist;
it was like the fusion
of cool, smooth melody
of Boney James’ soprano
with the hard edged notes of
Coltrane’s alto
and I was entangled
within your sensual flair.

as I pulled you closer,
my fingers playing in your hair,
I saw the universal twinkle
of shooting stars
in your eyes
and my heart beat
in tune with
“In A Sentimental Mood”.

the smooth jazz mellow’d
out in a gin joint haze
and we sway’d
in and out of a shifting phase
of warm lips
and a raspberry scented daze
as we moved closer
into this ****** craze
of my syncopated fingers caressing
your lemon-vanilla scented
piano flavor’d skin.
key strokes gently
ease into me
and the music of “Fallin”
eats me like air.
not in piece by piece delights,
but as a ravishingly
lustful whole.

and I find
“I’m falling in and out
of love with you”.

but helplessly, I find
I’m still in a sentimental mood
as my dream catcher
knows I love the silky,
cool jazzy feel of you.

Aztec Warrior/redzone 8.27.16
Note: there are references to several songs
and musicians in the poem. The title is a song by Boney James
found in his album “Ride”. The musicians are Boney Lames,
John Coltrane, Alicia Keys, and Dr. John.
.....thanks for reading... Eliot says I can't do 3 links... sorry... you will have to look them up yourself...
Sep 2016 · 962
Cruel Summer
Aztec Warrior Sep 2016
Cruel Summer**

It’s a long cruel summer
since you’ve been gone;
starless skies
greet dreamless nights
and shadows eat my sight.
I thought it would be easy
not ever seeing you,
but everything I do
calls me to unsaid words
in many colors, but mostly blue.
Life is mostly hard,
filled with pain
abuse that makes no sense
and leaves us hollow sometimes.
Whether it’s at the hands
of those who raise us,
or the one who promises
to love us forever.
And worse, we sometimes lose
the ones we love the most-
like mourning dew
on a warm summer’s day.
I know all this,
honestly I do.
Yet I never thought
it was you I would lose.
Don’t ask me why
I can not explain
my Daliesque dream
that you would remain.
Perhaps it was my penchant
at windmill jousting;
or reading too much into
Cervantes’ and his chivalrous
Dulcinea desires
that imaged you
dancing from chandeliers
or around those gypsy fires
on cool spring nights;
teasing me into submission
and confessing my “sins”
of falling for you.
I have no words
or rationale for any of this.
I just know
it’s a long cruel summer
since you’ve been gone,
leaving me all alone.
Maybe today,
while it’s sunny and warm,
I can find my sanity,
the rationale
to get out on my own
and sing some silly
80's songs.

Aztec Warrior/redzone 6.26.16
....thanks for reading...
music is "Cruel Summer" by Bananarama
Sep 2016 · 1.8k
Butterfly Flutterby
Aztec Warrior Sep 2016
Butterfly Flutterby**

The music swirls Cherry Blossoms,
pink petals fluttering in the air
as if plucked by morning notes
and you glide in dawn’s sweet touch
like a slow butterfly song.

Break down:
hey hey baby
come come
my lady
are you a butterfly
all fluttery sweet
and crazy down,
maybe you’ll dance with me

Flip side:
this fusion, hard rock
and hip-hop
swirls cherry blossom petals
fluttering in your crazy breeze
of sweet tasting
butterfly notes.
Baby baby
you are a
sweet butterfly song
in my heart...

Come come
my lady
and I will help you sing.

Aztec Warrior/redzone 8.27.16
Note: I drew heavily on the song by Crazy Town, “Butterfly”
the song embedded below.
....thanks for reading...
music is
"Butterfly" by Crazy Town
Sep 2016 · 695
"Black Velvet"
Aztec Warrior Sep 2016
“Black Velvet”**

There use to be snow up there,
lots of it to be sure.
Then the sun came out somewhere
and now all is melted and demure
in nature and touch,
as everything is covered in bleak colors,
rainy feel and such
displaying too many grays and shadows.

I use to spend hours
watching the witchy Borealis
shifting and shimmering
on black velvet nights.
It was enough to set your heart a fire
running playfully
in those Canadian lights.

Now, some may look for
that “slow Southern style”
and a come on sway, oh my.
But I look northward
to the songs in the sky
with legs that make a skirt wild.
Give me
Borealis on painted
black velvet skies,
“if you please”.

Aztec Warrior / redzone 7.3.16
(Note: quote from the song “Black Velvet”
by Alannah Myles)
....thanks for reading...
the music is "Black Velvet" by Alannah Myles
Sep 2016 · 602
Beds Are Burning
Aztec Warrior Sep 2016
“Beds Are Burning”**

“how can we dance
when our Earth is turning,
how do we sleep
while our beds are burning..”
~~ Midnight Oil, 1987
no matter where you look,
no matter where you go;
spin the globe
and point anywhere,
our Earth is burning,
humanity is hurting...

Sleeping beds burn
in human atrocities’ dancing
on the misery and bones,
the living poverty,
all the while,
******* on illusions and allusions
of “freedom;
while thinking everyone,
must live as we,
in blue pill ignorance
and selective amnesia

Let’s get real-
we live in the
“Land of the Thief,
Home of the Slave!”

When will we put all this
in long ago past museum history?
Or do we really think
it is fun to dance
while our beds are burning
and humanities hurting!?

Aztec Warrior / redzone 7.5.16
....thanks for reading..
music link is to song "Beds Are Burning
by Midnight Oil
Sep 2016 · 799
POEM 152
Aztec Warrior Sep 2016
UB40 & Al Green Fantasies**

UB40 flowed easily
in my dreams last night.
Their cover of Al Green’s
“Here I Am (Come and Take Me)”1
led me to Green’s
“Love And Happiness”2
a “do right”, “do wrong” song
sung in all night long
soul.... oh yes!
A walkin’
your hand covering mine
in a love
and happiness
witnessed floating
on clouds of pink shaded,
apricot’d ecstacy.
Oooooh yes
love soaked sheets
drenched in sweet happiness.

I awoke from this fantasy
reluctanly. But all day I’m singing,
let me bring you
“Breakfast In Bed”3

Aztec Warrior/redzone 6.18.16
Notes: 1 is the title of the UB40 cover of Al Green’s
song: “Here I Am (Come and Take Me"
2 is Al Green’s “Love and Happiness”
3 is the title of another UB40 song featuring
Chrissy Hynd
thanks for reading... sorry no links allowed... ask Eliot... stupid if you ask me...
Sep 2016 · 764
Give Me That Funky Stuff
Aztec Warrior Sep 2016
Give Me That Funky Stuff**

Dress me up
in Uptown blues
and get down funk.
So hot, *******.
Say what!

I heard once
someone say,
“If you lick my soul,
I will feed your funk”.
So in a wave of funkadelic haze
let me soul up your funky,
spunky dance floor displays
with rhythm, blues
and dance hall daze.
So girl,
let me funk you up!

Aztec Warrior/redzone 8.28.16
....thanks for reading...
the music link is to "Uptown Funk" by Mark Ronson /Ft Bruno Mars
Sep 2016 · 1.5k
Life: A Carnival
Aztec Warrior Sep 2016
Life: A Carnival

In so many ways
we are a human freak show,
just a breathing carnival attraction.
So get the ******* your high horse,
look around
be mesmerized,
and wonderized by a world of awe.
Let’s get real,
move a few strands of DNA
from here to there,
drop some chromosomes at the deli
to re-arrange their eating patterns
and we would see that
those mindless amoebas down the street
is talking our language.
Of all the billions of species
populating this planet,
we humans are the most
ignorant, opinionated,
**** for brains fools.
We puff out our stupidity
on a regular basis,
books, movies, music,
TV and social media
there is no end to the
racist, slime eating,
brought out in grand displays
as “experts”
in a single hour
of opinion disguised as “news”
on Fox, or CNN,
a menagerie of fools.

The world is a marvelous place,
alive with diversity,
which we should embrace.
All of us, humans wide,
emerged from Africa,
humanities origins
10's of thousands of years ago.

We humans are a carnival,
a side tent freak show,
all diverse and magnificent.
And to all those idiot
religious fanatics,
USA, USA ignoramuses,
de-evolve your brains,
slither back under your rock,
go back to your ancient,
long gone
humanoid origins,
become like you are,

Aztec Warrior/redzone 8.28.16
Note: yes it’s a rant after watching an hour of Fox
CNN and MSNBC news... I must go throw up now.
Apologies to Natalie Merchant whose song “Carnival”
is embedded below, her song is a much more kinder
celebration of our diversity.. I on the other hand
cannot stay calm in the face of fascist fanatics
pretending to speak for human beings.
....thanks for reading...
the music link is to Natalie Merchant's, "Carnival"
Sep 2016 · 1.3k
"So Kiss Me"
Aztec Warrior Sep 2016
“So Kiss Me”**

down by the raging river
under the shady tree
in the middle of the day
            kiss me
under the silver moon light
with fire flies glowing
and dreams dancing
along the milky night
           kiss me
oh oh be my sparkling
forever, whispering sweetly
your lips tasting me
like it was our first
          kiss me
swing swing me into your
guitar-scape melodies
out on the valley green
yellow and wildflower blue
          kiss me
“so kiss me”.... “so kiss me”
more and more
kiss me

Aztec Warrior/redzone 6.24.16
Note: the title of the song by Katie Melua
....thanks for reading..
the music link is to "So Kiss Me", by Katie Melua
Sep 2016 · 793
Searching For Balance
Aztec Warrior Sep 2016
Searching For Balance**

In all my journeys
I have looked for balance,
the life forces that make sense
of a world gone mad.
These ripped jeans,
faded flannel shirt
and worn out moccasins
remind me
of dusty country roads
and deep forest green
lost to barren,
colorless wasteland
and seas where
whales have forgotten their songs.

Along this path,
I have looked into countless faces,
seen hollow eyes,
empty souls of meaning,
and unfocused meandering.
My animal spirits,
wolf, owl and hawk
talk to me of defeat.
“We are a lost,
defeated tribe.
Here, but hardly alive.”

So I continue this search
for understanding
often waking from dreams
thinking I will still find your
warmth lying beside me
in my bed roll of desire,
your gentle, open smile
caressing through my hair
in long ago memories
cascading down my heart.

These worn out moccasins
no longer know which way to go.
They climb me mountains
where there is the bitter taste of snow,
down into valleys of unknown,
flowing me down rivers,
over their tall waterfalls
and into the deltas
of dead seas.

In all my journeys
I sought balance
in the world around me
and in my heart.
My spirit animals are right,
everywhere wasteland,
a tribe defeated
here, but not alive.
No balance in my heart
just the empty ache
of missing you-
your warmth,
your gentle touch,
your kiss.

Aztec Warrior/redzone 8.28.16
....thanks for reading
the music link is Moby's "Find My Baby"
Sep 2016 · 425
Remind Me
Aztec Warrior Sep 2016
Remind Me**

I’ve been down many roads,
dusty and unpaved,
but never like the one you
asked me to travel on.
I see you up ahead
but as I near
you fade
like every heart break,
like every foolish dream.

It’s not just the
barren emptiness,
the desolation of nothing,
it’s that once
all this was green
with all shades of colors;
life actually
was alive here
with springs of passion.
There was an address
with a door bell
and when rung
you would answer
with kissable smiles
and warm embraces.

But now you remind me
too of the blindness,
the hopelessness of love,
of never being able to say
“I’ve been wrong”
“I’m sorry”.

You just went away.
And I no longer care.

Aztec Warrior/redzone 8.27.16
...thanks for reading..
music link is to Nickleback's "How You Remind Me"
Aug 2016 · 872
"On Every Street"
Aztec Warrior Aug 2016
“On Every Street”*

dusty winds carry
the tumble weeds of your heart;
those wayward ideologues of love,
***** nilly,
like time’s arrow
down every street.
sometimes they catch
in the shrubs by my house,
other times in the sewer grate
down at the corner,
but always,
always they sing,
like whistling tears,
and dance with a barren earth
to a melancholy tune.
tumbling down every street
I see you
and try to hold onto
your slippery sighs
thinking you may sing your tears
for me,
creating in my garden
the colors Of Spring.
but you slip through these fingers,
tumble **** light,
blowing down every street.

Aztec Warrior/redzone 8.16.16
Note: the title of this poem is from the
song “On Every Street”, which is also
embedded with the poem.
....thanks for reading...
Aug 2016 · 784
You Take Me Higher
Aztec Warrior Aug 2016
You Take Me Higher**

Sometimes life
is worth all the pain;
is worth living in the day’s nights.

I come to you
as green forest
and sensuality flowing
in the sexuality
of its life and death symphony
cause you take me higher
and I feel the way your
smooth skin trembles with me;
trembles above and below
our heats pulsing.
I come to you
the way clouds of cumulus
turn pinkish
as they cumulingus in the breeze
of blue sky ecstasy;
as our hearts wide,
arms open,
legs in entangled display
lifting us higher and higher.
And while
to be entwined so is heaven,
even more
is the skin to skin embrace
in after glow
and soft murmuring of
fingers gently finding the warmth
of your *******,
the sighs of holding you close
as you fold into me
and I you;
falling asleep to the scent
of your love
as real as much as dream.
Even more
is the higher and higher
of your smile on waking in the morning,
the touch of your fingers in my hair,
or the way my face folds into your hand
and how you lean into me
when I hug your embrace.
“Your love
is taking me higher”
to be better
than I am;
to lift you
even higher.

Aztec Warrior/redzone 8.20.16
Note: quoted line from the song "Your Love Is Lifting Me Higher" by Jackie Wilson and is embedded below
....thanks for reading
Aug 2016 · 373
Hell's Abyss
Aztec Warrior Aug 2016
Hell’s Abyss**

Often I want to join you
in those swirling notes of blue,
the old down low
of ebbs and flow
that cascade like ebony’s glow
and from there and back,
let me “fade to black”.

You always loved to tease,
to take pleasure
in darkened rooms
where demons could
coddle your heart
and take you to their lover’s shack,
while you just let me
“fade to black”.

Oh, you knew how to fight,
you always had the knack
to take my love
then stab me in the back,
sending me to the edge
of hell’s abyss
where with one push
I “fade to black”.

Aztec Warrior/redzone 8.20.16
Note: the quoted lines are from the song:
“Fade To Black” by Dire Straits. Song
is also embedded below.
...thanks for reading..
Aug 2016 · 487
Aztec Warrior Aug 2016

Laying atop the carved-stone mesa,
feeling the chill of Perihelion’s air,
I am seeing long past millennia
in the night sky.
Snuggled inside my bed roll dreams
I feel earth’s motion
swirl distant galaxies,
as your red-shift light warms my face,
a celestial journey begun long before
our sun,
this planet was even formed.

Stardust memories blaze the night sky.
Each point a puzzle
holding onto so many whys,
giving forth, shouting out their mysteries
and expanding sighs.
Suddenly, in a snap shot moment
of earthly time,
I stand naked to face you
and your far distant hue,
as the rhythm of the wind,
its winter rhyme,
tussles my hair,
tingles my skin.
You are probably long gone
but I had to wave,
shout out my incantations,
acknowledge your presence
and warm glow sensations.
Standing, arms stretched wide,
Naked to the stars
I can sense your aeons ago reply:
   “We are children of the skies
   you and I.
   the creation of melting nebulae
   transformed into conscious activity.
   I will know you
   by the tracks you leave
   by the way you persevere
   in seeking and up-holding truth
   in bettering the spirit of humankind.
   I will know you by your smile.”

Aeons ago I sensed your touch.
As I raced back to the warmth awaiting
within these bed roll dreams,
I felt earth’s motion
rotate distant galaxies.
Staring into your starry night,
smiling at all the unknown,
I am ready for
all earth changing possibilities,
hastened along by distant hues
riding on this winter’s wind.

Aztec Warrior/redzone 1.6.04
...thanks for reading...
the music link is to Enya's "Watermark"
Aug 2016 · 1.8k
Snow Falling On Cedars
Aztec Warrior Aug 2016
Snow Falling On Cedars**

The Dream: Death 1

snow, falling on Cedars,
soft and gentle,
is like your whisper’d breath
spoken in silent wisps
of warmth felt seductively
on my ears.
Each flake
a kiss,
a thought
of lavender
and honey’d dew drops
caressing my lips.
It’s a sensual touch
the way my face
curves into your fingers;
into the smile
of your eyes
finding the sparkle of mine.

The Reality: Death 2

snow falling on Cedars
is a Winter’s kiss;
the emptiness of white,
of hard pack’d earth
and its message of death.
Your fingers are cold,
your lips frozen, lifeless
and wrinkl’d with the too sweet
taste of rancid fruit.
It is a brittle, cruel love
that mingles in this wasteland,
and influencing hope
and the dreams of light
with the bleak melancholy of despair.

The Finale:

snow falling on Cedars,
the darkness of vengeful breath
covers everything with the
emptiness of white;
like whispers of silent death.

Aztec Warrior/redzone 8.13.16
...thanks for reading
Aug 2016 · 1.6k
Dream-Walk Sunset
Aztec Warrior Aug 2016
Dream-Walk Sunset**

From the Highlands they came.
Even before we saw them
we felt the earth shake.
Drums pulsed,
feet danced
to ancient runes,
to didgeridoo
and haunting pipes;
danced to dreams come true.
From the Highlands
to the sea,
marching to those cliffs
over soft white sands
they came.
Magical Fae and Folks of old
traditional ways
where life and death
were just Gaia’s breath
in harmony with the rest,
a dream-walk sunset.
Can you see them?
There- they dance
to a sound so bright
you can see it
even in this dark night.
There- they float
on Witch and Fae spells
to set the world right.
There- all those points of light
billions and billions they
march to anciet songs
of magic held in the notes
of the didgeridoo
and Asturian pipes.
Over the Highlands they came
marching to the sea
and those cliffs
above soft white sands,
magical Fae and Folk of old
traditional ways.
Will we join them
in Gaia’s dream-walk sunset?
Or just watch
as they fade away?

Aztec Warrior/redzone 7.24.16
...thanks for reading... here is the link to some Highland Music,
"Busiindre Reel"  by Hevia
Aug 2016 · 539
"Fade Into You"
Aztec Warrior Aug 2016
Into You**

oh, you can go
or you can stay
and I’ll walk with you
until you fade
into that strange place you go
where oblivion eats you so
you are known only to shadow
and a crying
midnight blue;
where I long to follow
and fade along with you.
“fade into you.”

Aztec Warrior / redzone 7.16.16
Note: quoted words at the end is
the Title of the song embedded below
...thanks for reading... here is the link to the music
by Mazzy Star, "Fade Into You"
Aug 2016 · 1.4k
Radiation Burn
Aztec Warrior Aug 2016
Radiation Burn**

Cancer is a mother;
snap, crackle, pop,
yet they zip, zap
and radiate me.
They won’t allow a
glow in the dark blush,
or allow some super powers;
no Spiderman,
not even the Hulk- sheeesh!
But they did suggest perhaps
Wonder Woman instead
since their hormone therapy
is medically castrating me-
all in the name of science
and to be cancer free!!
Yippee and yahoo
not to mention
radiation burns!!!
I guess there is always a price,
a “trade off” they say.
So move over Superman,
Wonder Woman is in the house!
Oh, and by the way,
could I borrow some red lipstick,
I already have a magical whip
and I’m looking for
a heavy date Friday night!!

Aztec Warrior/redzone 7.28.16
Note: if you can’t laugh at what life
throws at you and also yourself,
cancer will eat you alive...
thanks for reading... and here is a link to some music:  from R.E.M.
"Everybody Hurts"
Aug 2016 · 1.9k
Fire & Rain
Aztec Warrior Aug 2016
Fire & Rain**

Several mornings ago
I woke up to a rainy tomorrow,
today though was a raging fire.
It singed all my thoughts of you,
burnt the marrow you placed in my bones
leaving me painfully hollow.
Rain and fire,
rainy fire
and acidic spit;
how foolish to think
I would see you again...
Woke up tomorrow,
wrote down this poem
with the pieces of me lying around
cause I never could find a friend.
Sweet dreams have disappeared
in a long and lonely day
where the sun shines
on a Winter’s wind
and icicles form on my shriveled skin.

“Yet I always thought
I would see you again”
Fire, spit,
and lonely
rainy days,
though this is the end
of those foolish thoughts
of seeing you again.

Aztec Warrior/redzone 7.19.16
(Note: the quoted line is from James Taylor’s
song, “Fire & Rain”; as is the inspiration
for this poem)
thanks for reading... here is the link to the song,
"Fire & Rain" by James Taylor..
"but I always thought I would see you again"
Jul 2016 · 714
POEM 150
Aztec Warrior Jul 2016

“ when your hearts on fire,
smoke gets in your eyes...”
–from the song “Smoke Gets In Your Eyes”
by the Platters

A blue-grey haze littered the room,
an intimate café
where the sensual sounds
of the Fender triple neck
steel guitar played
and enticed a hungry sway
in the jazzy cool way
as you walked in
wanting to dance.
After watching you dance
in R&B; abandon,
“Sleep Walk”, a melodic haunting vibes
filled the air with ****** tension.
I held out my hand
and you wandered sleekly
into my smooth melodies.
As our sweat mingled
we moved closer in time
a Shalimar drip
tasted my lip.
I felt the shiver quiver
and though the music stopped
a while ago,
we danced,
we danced,
we danced on.
And while my heart
is still on fire, and your smoke
gets in my eyes,
it is your haunting “sleep walk”
that makes me sing.

Aztec Warrior/redzone 6.10.16
...thanks for reading
Jul 2016 · 333
POEM 149
Aztec Warrior Jul 2016

There’s a message riding on the sky
I heard it playing on the radio
and just wanted you to know
it’s a wild song with ebbs and flows
like rock and roll
with lots of boogie and soul.

The message said, come read me slow,
my heart is beating and I want to show
you how to see me in this light,
come and sparkle with me this very night.
Let us walk in a jivvy fantasy,
a hazy cosmic odyssey
where we become, then fade
on time’s wave.
Two children, laughing as we go.

Aztec Warrior / redzone 6.10.16
Jul 2016 · 547
POEM 148
Aztec Warrior Jul 2016
(3) Fantasies
(A Friday Night ****)**

The first time I saw her,
she looked and smelled
like something good to eat-
wild and exotic
with a curry’d twist;
but I haven’t been hungry
in quite a while.
Still, it was humorous
to have alive thoughts again.
After all,
she is Spring’s rain
and raging rivers.
While I am hard earth,
barren trees
and Winter’s snow.
It brought to mind
the UB40 song and words:
“Breakfast in bed,
kisses for me, you don’t
have to say you love...”

Her skin was the color of chocolate
with coconut swirls;
she smelled like rain
on a cool Spring day
after the Magnolias have come alive.
I did my best
to act like a human being
and not stare;
but when she sat down besides be,
I couldn’t help but smile.
(10 W)
Hummingbirds entice her
flower nectar; she opens her
petals invitingly.

Aztec Warrior/redzone 6.1.16
Jul 2016 · 485
POEM 147
Aztec Warrior Jul 2016
POEM 147
*Magic Woman

There is always something;
the magic of touch
in an ocean breeze
as it moves through those
California mountain trees.
Or, the spell you create
as you walk through
the scenic path to the stream
below your home,
making the flowers give you their scent.
Then again
it could be when
your mojo heart beats
from Santana’s guitar
and I hear , “Oye Como Va”-
(“listen to my music”)
and I know instinctively
“you’ve made a devil outta me”.

Aztec Warrior/redzone 5.30.16
(Note: quoted line is from Santana’s songs:
‘Oye Como Va’ and ‘Black Magic Woman’)
Jul 2016 · 670
Springtime for Fascism
Aztec Warrior Jul 2016
Springtime for Fascism

those letters that form words
are cold,
frozen when they fill paper
or are spoken
with spittle and bitter sentences,
then are stiffly fold’d,
carried in pockets.
but when unfold’d and open’d
they shatter,
melting on barren ground
waiting angry weeds to flower
when Spring arrives.
such sweet flowers these
weeds bring forth.
their yellows, reds,
and orangish-blues
deceive us
with brightness
and poison’d hues
that turn a serene landscape
into chaotic violence,
sticky non-sense
and self deception.
cause it’s easier to fantasy escape
than act on real solutions.
but then america was
never great
and too many swoon illusion’d love
for those poisonous weeds
while bending over to show a moon
hoping not to get ****’d.

Aztec Warrior/redzone 7.21.16
note: the title of this poem is  
from the title of a play (Springtime for ******)
within the Broadway theatrical production, as well
as the movie called “The Producers”.
song link is to Rage Against The Machine 's
"Killing In The Name Of"
Jul 2016 · 967
POEM 146
Aztec Warrior Jul 2016
Love Maven**

In the moonlight of heaven
I see you floating
on notes of no beginning,
no end.
Taking that farm boy’s arm,
going where your feet just wanna go,
going to some ‘natural fun’...

Thinking of a life lost
in tones of forest green
and what could have been,
I know what it means
to get down, get down
where there is a lively funky sound.
‘Ipsimama’, ‘ipsimama’.

Time, in all dimensions
doesn’t recognize the ‘genius of love
or its love maven.
It just tick tocks,
tick tocks until
‘hiditihi, hipitiho’
‘bohannon’, bohannon’,
the music stops!

Aztec Warrior/redzone 5.30.16
.... thanks for reading..
this poem was written for a good friend at another poetry site, so I hope you all like it as well... enjoy the music link: "Genius of Love"
Jul 2016 · 398
POEM 145
Aztec Warrior Jul 2016
About You - Something**

How often do you feel
motion in the air
when every thing is standing still?

Sweet words spoken;
hummingbird whispers to a flower;
and music is heard
when there is no sound.
And it’s you.
Around you    something
invokes a smile.

Perhaps it is a song beginning
some mystic magic mojo
that has wandered into sight,
and is plucking and *******
guitar strings in a Western direction.

The vinyl spins its appeal,
heard riding an old blue truck,
windows down,
long hair abandons the wind
and you sing
those oldies everyone knows today.

But, there is more;
a deeper resonance and spark.
About you,
there is just

And it is delightful.

Aztec Warrior/redzone 5.29.16
....thanks for reading..
enjoy the music link to "Something About You"
Jul 2016 · 700
POEM 144
Aztec Warrior Jul 2016
Hotel Dali-esque**

I watched silently
as low fog rolled in
and the Dali-esque strangeness began.
Sitting on the lawn table
an iguana carcass,
with an apple in its mouth
and liqueur on its breath,
started singing to me.
Lavender guitar riffs wailed
as goldfish did a hoopla type dance
calling my bluff.
(I tried to pull an inside straight)
Losing my shirt
in this surreal game,
I got up to go.
That’s when I heard your voice,
“you can check out any time you like,
but you can never leave!”

Aztec Warrior/redzone 5.26.16
(NOTE: written for a 10W challenge:
lavender, low, fog, bluff, apple, iguana,
carcass, liqueur, goldfish, hoopla)
....thanks for reading...
enjoy the link to the music: "Hotel California"
Jul 2016 · 561
POEM 143
Aztec Warrior Jul 2016

it was EMINENT to me
the RAIN made her look SCRAWNY
in that NONCHALANT colored sweater.
though a left over PINCH of her PERFUME
made for a TASTY, if RECKLESS,
desire to stare at her endlessly.
and while only a MINOR affection,
I was still puzzled
when she stopped, turned and
asked, “care to join me for coffee”?

redzone 5.20.16
For a 10 word challenge, words: eminent, rain,
scrawny, nonchalant, pinch, reckless, tasty, minor,
puzzled, perfume.
...thanks for reading...
Jun 2016 · 573
POEM 142
Aztec Warrior Jun 2016
Jitter Buggin’**

“Oh Carol,
don’t let him steal your heart away,
I’m gonna learn to dance
if it takes me all night and day.”
~~Chuck Berry

you drove that cherry red Chevy coupe,
327 and 4 on the floor,
ChucK Berry coming through your door.
“Oh Carol”
you steppin’ out
to dance tonight!
Come on Carol,
there’s a little juke joint
just down the road a way,
so lets go baby
cause when you arrive
the whole place comes alive
and everyone wants to dance and play.
Tight pants and swayed out skirts
fill the music
with rock-n-roll jams, and
“I got my eyes on you baby,
cause you dance so good”.
“Oh Carol”
you’re stealin’ my heart away.
And I’m toe tappin’
hip swayin’,
jitter buggin’
the night away.

Aztec Warrior/redzone 5.10.16
NOTE: the quoted lines are from the Chuck Berry
song “Oh Carol”
Jun 2016 · 434
POEM 141
Aztec Warrior Jun 2016

Snow boarding down the snow laden
mountain side,
air rushing past
reddening my cheeks
with clouds of snow dust;
dodging tall pines
and the occasional rocks,
then elevating into a double loop
with full twisting smile
as I land and glide
into your warm embrace,
looking into your eyes.
And I realize suddenly,
I walk accompanied by ghosts.
I follow along behind imaginary people,
maybe stark in their colors,
but fantasy’s phantasm
just the same.
And I finally understand
that every word you wrote
and I fell in love with,
never really belonged
or even existed for me,
even though they filled
my life with meaning.
Isn’t it ironic
how simple acts,
like snow boarding,
listening to music,
or re-reading every message
you ever sent me,
allows me to see
what is real and not.
Still, I must ask,
were you ever real?
Or was it just my desire
to know you,
to look you in the eye honestly
and be able to smile.
It’s a terrible thing
to see you as myth;
to fantasize you more than you are,
cause you are,
as you are,
pretty something.

Aztec Warrior/redzone 5.7.17
Aztec Warrior Jun 2016
The Stanford **** Case
Statement from the Young Woman Who Was *****
June 10, 2016 | Revolution Newspaper |

Editors Note: The following harrowing and courageous "victim impact" statement was read in court by the woman who was assaulted and ***** by ex-Stanford student Brock Turner. It has been released widely and is reposting it here. As Sunsara Taylor said in "The Stanford **** Outrage: Reason Enough to Make Revolution": "Her letter is 13 pages long and everyone should read it. In its entirety. Out loud. In classrooms. In church groups. In families. On sports teams. On air. Her pain must be seen. Her battle against despair must be supported. Her courage must be multiplied."*

Your Honor, if it is all right, for the majority of this statement I would like to address the defendant directly.
You don’t know me, but you’ve been inside me, and that’s why we’re here today.

On January 17th, 2015, it was a quiet Saturday night at home. My dad made some dinner and I sat at the table with my younger sister who was visiting for the weekend. I was working full time and it was approaching my bed time. I planned to stay at home by myself, watch some TV and read, while she went to a party with her friends.

Then, I decided it was my only night with her, I had nothing better to do, so why not, there’s a dumb party ten minutes from my house, I would go, dance like a fool, and embarrass my younger sister. On the way there, I joked that undergrad guys would have braces. My sister teased me for wearing a beige cardigan to a frat party like a librarian. I called myself “big mama”, because I knew I’d be the oldest one there. I made silly faces, let my guard down, and drank liquor too fast not factoring in that my tolerance had significantly lowered since college.

The next thing I remember I was in a gurney in a hallway. I had dried blood and bandages on the backs of my hands and elbow. I thought maybe I had fallen and was in an admin office on campus. I was very calm and wondering where my sister was. A deputy explained I had been assaulted. I still remained calm, assured he was speaking to the wrong person. I knew no one at this party.

When I was finally allowed to use the rest room, I pulled down the hospital pants they had given me, went to pull down my underwear, and felt nothing. I still remember the feeling of my hands touching my skin and grabbing nothing. I looked down and there was nothing. The thin piece of fabric, the only thing between my ****** and anything else, was missing and everything inside me was silenced. I still don’t have words for that feeling. In order to keep breathing, I thought maybe the policemen used scissors to cut them off for evidence.

Then, I felt pine needles scratching the back of my neck and started pulling them out my hair. I thought maybe, the pine needles had fallen from a tree onto my head. My brain was talking my gut into not collapsing. Because my gut was saying, help me, help me.

I shuffled from room to room with a blanket wrapped around me, pine needles trailing behind me, I left a little pile in every room I sat in. I was asked to sign papers that said “**** Victim” and I thought something has really happened.

My clothes were confiscated and I stood naked while the nurses held a ruler to various abrasions on my body and photographed them. The three of us worked to comb the pine needles out of my hair, six hands to fill one paper bag. To calm me down, they said it’s just the flora and fauna, flora and fauna. I had multiple swabs inserted into my ****** and ****, needles for shots, pills, had a Nikon pointed right into my *******. I had long, pointed beaks inside me and had my ****** smeared with cold, blue paint to check for abrasions.

After a few hours of this, they let me shower. I stood there examining my body beneath the stream of water and decided, I don’t want my body anymore. I was terrified of it, I didn’t know what had been in it, if it had been contaminated, who had touched it. I wanted to take off my body like a jacket and leave it at the hospital with everything else.

On that morning, all that I was told was that I had been found behind a dumpster, potentially penetrated by a stranger, and that I should get retested for *** because results don’t always show up immediately. But for now, I should go home and get back to my normal life. Imagine stepping back into the world with only that information. They gave me huge hugs and I walked out of the hospital into the parking lot wearing the new sweatshirt and sweatpants they provided me, as they had only allowed me to keep my necklace and shoes.

My sister picked me up, face wet from tears and contorted in anguish. Instinctively and immediately, I wanted to take away her pain. I smiled at her, I told her to look at me, I’m right here, I’m okay, everything’s okay, I’m right here. My hair is washed and clean, they gave me the strangest shampoo, calm down, and look at me. Look at these funny new sweatpants and sweatshirt, I look like a P.E. teacher, let’s go home, let’s eat something. She did not know that beneath my sweatsuit, I had scratches and bandages on my skin, my ****** was sore and had become a strange, dark colour from all the prodding, my underwear was missing, and I felt too empty to continue to speak. That I was also afraid, that I was also devastated. That day we drove home and for hours in silence my younger sister held me.
My boyfriend did not know what happened, but called that day and said, “I was really worried about you last night, you scared me, did you make it home okay?” I was horrified. That’s when I learned I had called him that night in my blackout, left an incomprehensible voicemail, that we had also spoken on the phone, but I was slurring so heavily he was scared for me, that he repeatedly told me to go find [my sister]. Again, he asked me, “What happened last night? Did you make it home okay?” I said yes, and hung up to cry.

I was not ready to tell my boyfriend or parents that actually, I may have been ***** behind a dumpster, but I don’t know by who or when or how. If I told them, I would see the fear on their faces, and mine would multiply by tenfold, so instead I pretended the whole thing wasn’t real.
I tried to push it out of my mind, but it was so heavy I didn’t talk, I didn’t eat, I didn’t sleep, I didn’t interact with anyone.

After work, I would drive to a secluded place to scream. I didn’t talk, I didn’t eat, I didn’t sleep, I didn’t interact with anyone, and I became isolated from the ones I loved most. For over a week after the incident, I didn’t get any calls or updates about that night or what happened to me. The only symbol that proved that it hadn’t just been a bad dream, was the sweatshirt from the hospital in my drawer.

One day, I was at work, scrolling through the news on my phone, and came across an article. In it, I read and learned for the first time about how I was found unconscious, with my hair dishevelled, long necklace wrapped around my neck, bra pulled out of my dress, dress pulled off over my shoulders and pulled up above my waist, that I was **** naked all the way down to my boots, legs spread apart, and had been penetrated by a foreign object by someone I did not recognise.

This was how I learned what happened to me, sitting at my desk reading the news at work. I learned what happened to me the same time everyone else in the world learned what happened to me. That’s when the pine needles in my hair made sense, they didn’t fall from a tree. He had taken off my underwear, his fingers had been inside of me. I don’t even know this person. I still don’t know this person. When I read about me like this, I said, this can’t be me, this can’t be me. I could not digest or accept any of this information. I could not imagine my family having to read about this online. I kept reading. In the next paragraph, I read something that I will never forgive; I read that according to him, I liked it. I liked it. Again, I do not have words for these feelings.

It’s like if you were to read an article where a car was hit, and found dented, in a ditch. But maybe the car enjoyed being hit. Maybe the other car didn’t mean to hit it, just bump it up a little bit. Cars get in accidents all the time, people aren’t always paying attention, can we really say who’s at fault.

And then, at the bottom of the article, after I learned about the graphic details of my own ****** assault, the article listed his swimming times. She was found breathing, unresponsive with her underwear six inches away from her bare stomach curled in fetal position. By the way, he’s really good at swimming. Throw in my mile time if that’s what we’re doing. I’m good at cooking, put that in there, I think the end is where you list your extracurriculars to cancel out all the sickening things that’ve happened.
The night the news came out I sat my parents down and told them that I had been assaulted, to not look at the news because it’s upsetting, just know that I’m okay, I’m right here, and I’m okay. But halfway through telling them, my mom had to hold me because I could no longer stand up.

The night after it happened, he said he didn’t know my name, said he wouldn’t be able to identify my face in a line-up, didn’t mention any dialogue between us, no words, only dancing and kissing. Dancing is a cute term; was it snapping fingers and twirling dancing, or just bodies grinding up against each other in a crowded room? I wonder if kissing was just faces sloppily pressed up against each other? When the detective asked if he had planned on taking me back to his dorm, he said no. When the detective asked how we ended up behind the dumpster, he said he didn’t know.

He admitted to kissing other girls at that party, one of whom was my own sister who pushed him away. He admitted to wanting to hook up with someone. I was the wounded antelope of the herd, completely alone and vulnerable, physically unable to fend for myself, and he chose me.

Sometimes I think, if I hadn’t gone, then this never would’ve happened. But then I realized, it would have happened, just to somebody else. You were about to enter four years of access to drunk girls and parties, and if this is the foot you started off on, then it is right you did not continue. The night after it happened, he said he thought I liked it because I rubbed his back. A back rub.

Never mentioned me voicing consent, never mentioned us even speaking, a back rub. One more time, in public news, I learned that my *** and ****** were completely exposed outside, my ******* had been groped, fingers had been jabbed inside me along with pine needles and debris, my bare skin and head had been rubbing against the ground behind a dumpster, while an ***** freshman was ******* my half naked, unconscious body. But I don’t remember, so how do I prove I didn’t like it.

I thought there’s no way this is going to trial; there were witnesses, there was dirt in my body, he ran but was caught. He’s going to settle, formally apologize, and we will both move on. Instead, I was told he hired a powerful lawyer, expert witnesses, private investigators who were going to try and find details about my personal life to use against me, find loopholes in my story to invalidate me and my sister, in order to show that this ****** assault was in fact a misunderstanding. That he was going to go to any length to convince the world he had simply been confused.

I was not only told that I was assaulted, I was told that because I couldn’t remember, I technically could not prove it was unwanted. And that distorted me, damaged me, almost broke me. It is the saddest type of confusion to be told I was assaulted and nearly *****, blatantly out in the open, but we don’t know if it counts as assault yet. I had to fight for an entire year to make it clear that there was something wrong with this situation.

When I was told to be prepared in case we didn’t win, I said, I can’t prepare for that. He was guilty the minute I woke up. No one can talk me out of the hurt he caused me. Worst of all, I was warned, because he now knows you don’t remember, he is going to get to write the script. He can say whatever he wants and no one can contest it. I had no power, I had no voice, I was defenseless. My memory loss would be used against me. My testimony was weak, was incomplete, and I was made to believe that perhaps, I am not enough to win this. His lawyer constantly reminded the jury, the only one we can believe is Brock, because she doesn’t remember. That helplessness was traumatizing.

Instead of taking time to heal, I was taking time to recall the night in excruciating detail, in order to prepare for the attorney’s questions that would be invasive, aggressive, and designed to steer me off course, to contradict myself, my sister, phrased in ways to manipulate my answers. Instead of his lawyer saying, Did you notice any abrasions? He said, You didn’t notice any abrasions, right?

This was a game of strategy, as if I could be tricked out of my own worth. The ****** assault had been so clear, but instead, here I was at the trial, answering questions like:
How old are you? How much do you weigh? What did you eat that day? Well what did you have for dinner? Who made dinner? Did you drink with dinner? No, not even water? When did you drink? How much did you drink? What container did you drink out of? Who gave you the drink? How much do you usually drink? Who dropped you off at this party? At what time? But where exactly? What were you wearing? Why were you going to this party? What’d you do when you got there? Are you sure you did that? But what time did you do that? What does this text mean? Who were you texting? When did you urinate? Where did you urinate? With whom did you urinate outside?

Was your phone on silent when your sister called? Do you remember silencing it? Really because on page 53 I’d like to point out that you said it was set to ring. Did you drink in college? You said you were a party animal? How many times did you black out? Did you party at frats? Are you serious with your boyfriend? Are you sexually active with him? When did you start dating? Would you ever cheat? Do you have a history of cheating? What do you mean when you said you wanted to reward him? Do you remember what time you woke up? Were you wearing your cardigan? What colour was your cardigan? Do you remember any more from that night? No? Okay, well, we’ll let Brock fill it in.

I was pommeled with narrowed, pointed questions that dissected my personal life, love life, past life, family life, inane questions, accumulating trivial details to try and find an excuse for this guy who had me half naked before even bothering to ask for my name. After a physical assault, I was assaulted with questions designed to attack me, to say see, her facts don’t line up, she’s out of her mind, she’s practically an alcoholic, she probably wanted to hook up, he’s like an athlete right, they were both drunk, whatever, the hospital stuff she remembers is after the fact, why take it into account, Brock has a lot at stake so he’s having a really hard time right now.

And then it came time for him to testify and I learned what it meant to be revictimized. I want to remind you, the night after it happened he said he never planned to take me back to his dorm. He said he didn’t know why we were behind a dumpster. He got up to leave because he wasn’t feeling well when he was suddenly chased and attacked. Then he learned I could not remember.

So one year later, as predicted, a new dialogue emerged. Brock had a strange new story, almost sounded like a poorly written young adult novel with kissing and dancing and hand holding and lovingly tumbling onto the ground, and most importantly in this new story, there was suddenly consent. One year after the incident, he remembered, oh yeah, by the way she actually said yes, to everything, so.

He said he had asked if I wanted to dance. Apparently I said yes. He’d asked if I wanted to go to his dorm, I said yes. Then he asked if he could finger me and I said yes. Most guys don’t ask, can I finger you? Usually there’s a natural progression of things, unfolding consensually, not a Q and A. But apparently I granted full permission. He’s in the cl
it has taken me days to shake out the feelings I have around this case and that one of every 4 women are *****, abuse assaulted in their life time.. think about that for a moment.. 1 out of every 4... this means almost everyone knows someone or has been through what the young woman is describing in her statement read in court.. there is no "buts" in this case, and if anyone has to come up with some kind of "but" then unfriend or follow me right now as I will not tolerate any excuses or apologies for these horrific attacks on half of  humanity, along with this I would add a ******* as well... the voice of this woman needs to be heard everywhere... repost, twitter etc etc everywhere...
May 2016 · 684
POEM 140
Aztec Warrior May 2016
Friday Night Fantasy**

The sky was a jade tangerine hue,
lightly sprinkled
with caramel colored stars,
while the moon
cried its silver beams
and a gentle breeze caressed your skin
making you shiver and smile
as you ate my eyes
with your temptation.
You swayed over me
dripping your sweet passion,
honeyed apricot nectar
over my tongue.
I wanted you,
needed your movements,
your music
and poetry,
the haiku of your desires
and the way
as you spoke it,
from inside out.
All I could do
was rock with you,
my mouth savoring
your nippled senyru.
I sang you a Friday night fantasy
of analogies, similes
and serenades,
mixed occasionally with
the raw desires of sexuality
and secrets of your femininity.
I was ablaze;
your name colored my heart.
I felt every silver moon beam
as you floated
and faded
away in the night sky.
You carried with you
all the poetry of me.

Aztec Warrior/redzone 5.6.16
....thanks for reading...
May 2016 · 467
POEM 139
Aztec Warrior May 2016
“Stop Draggin’ My Heart Around”**

Did you ever know
what you really wanted?
I thought you wanted
to be your own girl,
to see the sky
from your point of view.
Baby, that was fine by me
cause I loved what you could see.
But now you want me to go,
to tell me goodbye.
You never could
just look me in the eye,
reflected there
my love for you.
Now you’re out there
running loose in the world
with nothing better to do
than “draggin’ my heart around”.
Yet you still keep knocking on my front door,
don’t know what it is you’re looking for
but all you do is run around town
tearing me down.
Baby don’t you know
I was always willing to
look you in the eye;
so baby,
“stop draggin’ my heart around”

Aztec Warrior/redzone 5.3.16
Note: quoted lines are from the Stevie Nix/Tom Petty
song, “Stop Draggin’ My Heart Around”
...thanks for reading, here is the link to the song:
May 2016 · 433
POEM 138
Aztec Warrior May 2016
POEM 138
“Harden My Heart”

“In my wildest dreams
I never thought I’d go...”
– Quarterflash, from their song
*“Harden My Heart”

Never thought I would say this.
Never thought you would leave
and cover me in silence.
But darlin’
I can no longer find you
in these shadows anymore
and the greys are turning black,
my tears becoming ****** streaks
cutting grooves on my cheeks.
So darlin’
“I’m gonna harden my heart”
close this door and depart
leaving all those things unsaid
that may have turned
Winter’s barren freeze
into a wildflower Spring breeze.
This emptiness burns holes
where pain seeps in
and only the lonely knows.
So, I’m gonna “harden my heart”
and fade into dark space,
where not even memories of your voice
can get in.

Aztec Warrior/redzone 5.2.16
Note: the quoted lines are from the song
“Harden My Heart” by Quarterflash
...thanks for reading, here is the link to the song:
May 2016 · 520
POEM 137
Aztec Warrior May 2016
Self Portrait (10W)**

Gnarled and limbless
I reach for the stars-
determination defined.

Aztec Warrior/redzone 5.2.16
...thanks for reading.
There is a picture that goes with this poem, unfortunately HP does not have a way to post it with the poem.
I did choose some music to go with and here is the link:
"I Can't Help Fallin' In Love", UB40
May 2016 · 519
POEM 136
Aztec Warrior May 2016
Body Bag**

“... If I could turn the clocks
back, I wouldn’t be headed for
a body bag.”
~~ from the song “Body Bag” by Bear Tooth

The blows came
one after another,
all I could do
was drop and curl
in the corner,
until his rage was spent
and I was twisted and bent.
Then, just as quickly
it was over
and I could see
the body bag
laying on the floor.
Black, synthetic material
winked at me,
inviting me in,
into it’s nylon zippered embrace,
leaving no trace
of who I once was,
or would ever be.
If I could turn back time,
I could have seen the body bag coming;
like I now can see,
there, on the horizon,
a light glows.
Is it a new morning;
or fire from below?

Aztec Warrior/redzone 4.19.16
NOTE: I spent a week recovering from
surgery at my son’s home. My grandson (also a writer of poetry)
generously gave up his bedroom. There on the wall I found the
beginning quote from Bear Tooth. I went and listened to the song
“Body Bag” and then wrote this poem. I invited ny grandson to
contribute but he said he liked the poem the way it was. We will
collaborate on another poem and I will post.
...thanks for reading.  here is the link to the Bear Tooth song, 'Body Bag'
May 2016 · 496
POEM 135
Aztec Warrior May 2016

I love when my touch,
like a warm night’s breeze, makes
you shiver and (s)cream.

Aztec Warrior/redzone 4.8.16
(A Friday Night ****)
...thanks for reading, here is the link to the Prince song: "Cream"

Long live Prince, his outrageous and very timely rebellious music during the 'Culture Wars' which are still going on today in many ways... we will miss you dearly Prince!!!  RIP
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