I apologize for the stains on the pillow case,
I could not hold it in again.
The black that seeps into the flowers on the edge,
Are just from my eyes,
A little makeup remover should do the job fine.
The clothes missing from the closet are all mine, I swear.
I left your jerseys on the dresser, folded under the picture of us.
Please forgive the mess in the kitchen,
I began to make pancakes, but found myself in a heap on the floor,
While the batter bubbled under the stove.
I was sobbing because I am going to miss everything about this house.
That is no reason to stay here, I know that now.
I will miss Sundays, the smell of brunch from the hall,
And the glow of the tv when you fall asleep.
I found you countless times on the couch,
But never thought to move you to the bed.

The bathroom should be in good order,
The hair straightener will finally be out of your way.
I cleaned up the hair that I shed all over the house,
Because I know how much you hate it.
I began to vacuum the carpets, but I kept crying on them,
The hot tears would dry under the vacuum,
But I couldn't find the energy to keep going.

I know you won't understand why I am leaving,
Which is why this letter is for you,
And why I can't be here when you come home.
Your blue eyes would just drag me back to bed,
Like they have a hundred times.
I couldn't handle the grayness of your love anymore,
The way you couldn't commit to the distant future,
Or even to tomorrow.
We shared a house for ***** sake.
I hope you find the one you need,
I hope she cleans better than me,
I'm sorry that I am hurting you.
But I am happy that this is for me.
Sincerely,
Me

I want to be immune
To the song that lures
Me to you.
The sensuous pull
That has me wanting,
Needing,
To be in your grasp,
Your hands tangled
In my hair,
Your teeth to my skin.
I want to be immune
To the hunger I feel
For your kiss,
The ache I feel
For your touch.
Because I need you,
So much it hurts.

She's so full of rage
Boiling at the surface
Ready to explode

I have these thoughts in my mind
That tell me to just go
Leave it all behind
Maybe you'll find happiness elsewhere
Because it's obvious that I can't be happy here
No matter how hard I try
No matter how much I want to be,
The stress and anxiety
Are just too overwhelming.
Maybe if i lived a life on the go
Never staying in one place too long,
Maybe I'll find myself
Find inner peace,
Find happiness.

I'm broken, you see.
Broken like the shattered window
That once held my sad reflection.
I'm in so many little pieces,
That just won't fit back together.
Yet I've tried to fix myself,
Defeat the depression.
But the "darkness" is all I seem to know.
My wrists and belly are covered in faint, thin lines.
Each one telling of a time that I felt hopeless,
A time that I just didn't think I'd make it.
And as I run my fingers over the scars,
I wonder if they'll ever fully fade.
If I'll ever rid myself of my demons.
Maybe if I keep fighting,
I'll win this war with myself.

I once read that
The stars cannot shine
Without darkness,
Maybe I can shine
Even with the darkness within.