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 Dec 2015 aviisevil
lil j
insomnia
 Dec 2015 aviisevil
lil j
for the first time in two years I didn't wake up screaming your name. it still sounded more like a plea for help than a confessional. it was somewhere between "not again" and "don't do this". but it wasn't you. it wasn't the sound of your sweater. it wasn't the smell of your favourite song. it wasn't the taste of your voice. it wasn't you. I'm sure your laughter still lingers on my lips looking for a way out. I knew the day you replaced my bed with hers I'd break. I knew you'd shatter me like your dad's car window. you'd leave me on the cold cement for someone else to clean up. you were always so obsessed with car wrecks it finally makes sense why you were so fixated on me. but why did you choose her? is it the way she can pick her cereal without crying? or is it because you don't have to hide all the knives in the house when she's having a bad day? you knew I was a ******* crime scene when you met me yet you still tore down my yellow caution tape. for the first time in 2 years I didn't wake up screaming your name because I know she already is.
Dreams,
احلام
Rêves,
Sueños,
I was there,
But you woke me up.
You woke me up to
Reality ,
الواقع
Réalité,
Realidad,
You woke me up to
Cruelty,
القسوة
Cruauté,
Crueldad,*
And I want to sleep
Again.
 Oct 2015 aviisevil
Thomas Hardy
He often would ask us
That, when he died,
After playing so many
To their last rest,
If out of us any
Should here abide,
And it would not task us,
We would with our lutes
Play over him
By his grave-brim
The psalm he liked best—
The one whose sense suits
“Mount Ephraim”—
And perhaps we should seem
To him, in Death’s dream,
Like the seraphim.

As soon as I knew
That his spirit was gone
I thought this his due,
And spoke thereupon.
“I think”, said the vicar,
“A read service quicker
Than viols out-of-doors
In these frosts and hoars.
That old-fashioned way
Requires a fine day,
And it seems to me
It had better not be.”
Hence, that afternoon,
Though never knew he
That his wish could not be,
To get through it faster
They buried the master
Without any tune.

But ’twas said that, when
At the dead of next night
The vicar looked out,
There struck on his ken
Thronged roundabout,
Where the frost was graying
The headstoned grass,
A band all in white
Like the saints in church-glass,
Singing and playing
The ancient stave
By the choirmaster’s grave.

Such the tenor man told
When he had grown old.
 Oct 2015 aviisevil
Luna Craft
I am
 Oct 2015 aviisevil
Luna Craft
I am blank and I am emptiness
I wonder how long I’ll remain this way
I hear the wind pass me by everyday
I see people walk around me
I want to be noticed, I need color
I am blank

I pretend to have color
I feel like I’ll be plain forever
I touch the sky to try to steal its meaning
I worry that I might actually take it away
I cry when I realize that I’ll never be the colors everyone wants
I am blank

I understand the impossibility of it all
I say that I’ll find ink
I dream about the day when color flows
I try to reach towards that feeling
I hope that one day, I’ll be able to join the sky
I am blank
Fascist fascist
Fascinating
Liberating or degrading
Hangs from single strings
Nothing comes and no one sings
No one laughs and nothing breaks
See the cracks drip down my face

Fascist fascist
Fascinating
Fascinating fascist face
Flash-forward foreshadow
White cold lace
Not as durable as we first thought
But the car is packed
In the parking lot
I light the cigarettes we bought
And now there is no going back
Not back to there
Nor back to that
Not back to night
Nor back to day
Nor back to summers
Far away

Fascist fascist
Fascinating
Forget my fascist family tree
The fascist fascist memory
And moustache moustache damaging
Or fresco firefly reverie
Just tell me that I’m yours
Sign the line
Like you have before
This is where we are right now
Two souls alive
In the empty town
Two souls alive
In the ******* ghost god-empty town.

So, What think you of Whitman?
And what say I of Plath?
I understand all but maybe half
On my greatest finest day
(dearest, how’d we get this way?)
How’d we fall so far from grace?
How’d this canyon split my face?
Maybe it’s the trace trace amounts of fascist.

Fascist fascist
Fascinating
Friday fickle convocating
Tragic talent intubating
All the world smiles, undulating
But in the end
You’re still a fascist.
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