Depression, regression my true feelings I must not show, for if I do what will they all do? What will they say? Will they all turn just turn their heads and run away?
These feeling I hate yet they keep returning into my life like the seasons but unpredictable as to when like a raging tornado. The doctors, the meds all in my head supposed to help and it seems at times they do.
Friends and family try to be there they try to understand but so many times they get frustrated, as if I"m not? Do they really think I enjoy feeling like this? Then having to put on a facade just so people know when I'm working or interacting with new people. All the meds they help then they don't Aaahhh!!!
I"m so afraid, so ashamed, I should be able to control this right? I don't want to lose my friends and family but it seems like this may become the inevitable. When I'm depressed all I want to do is lay in bed do nothing, there in lies the problem. I have to work, I love my job. I have to take care of my family and the house, I LOVE my family more than words can ever say. WHY? Why must I feel like this??
Depression, regression will it ever stop? I'm afraid in my world the world that is bipolar.... no.

Love knows no bounds no matter who you are, no matter who you're with
Male or female, gay,straight, bi, whatever
Who are they to judge I don't think they should be allowed
I think if you're happy that is all that should matter
I love my family whomever they choose to love
Happiness is in the eye of the beholder after all
My heart is swollen with love for my family and friends, I am truly blessed with who has been put into my life
Remember never judge unless you want to be judged thyself
Give love and thy shall receive love

You entered my life in a blink of an eye.
One moment you weren't there the next you were.
How was I know to know what you would become, that you would become my prince, my knight in shining armor?
It started so innocently and grew into something so much more.
A few years went by and you made me your queen. Oh how lucky I was.
You always try to protect me from the evils of the world. You hold me in your strong arms and tell me you have me and that everything will be alright that I just need to be strong.
There in lies the problem, I am not as strong as you. I never will be. I try and try but I do not a have a strong shield like you. So I count on you my knight probably more than I should to help shield me.
I am fragile. Easily broken, but you , you always put back the pieces  when I break apart. My love, my life ,my knight, my KING! For that I will always love you. Love your fragile queen

Two beautiful angels sent into my life the Lord chose me to be their mother in this world.
Both of them with eyes like oceans of blue
They have my heart wrapped around their little fingers
How did I become so blessed? I ask this everyday
I truly am grateful for these two children that I get to watch grow everyday.
Please don't grow up and runaway.
Stay close to your mother and continue your blessed presence in my life.
I love you with all of my heart my dears.
In this life I hope you never have any fears
I want you to know you both are my heart and my life without you I would crumble
Forever and always I will love you my sweethearts to the end of time

You tell me you love me one second then the next you want a divorce
I"m so confused how do you really feel? Do you hate me deep within but try to love me or love me deep with in and try not to hate me? I don't know.
All of this because of meds that I am on. You call me a drug addict here's the thing only one of them is what you could consider a potential addictive drug. The rest are not.
I have medical conditions that need treated Lord how I wish I did not.
Bipolar, migraines, chronic pain. I wish you understood instead of getting mad.
I know it's frustrating trust me it is for me too.
Why? Why me? Why can't I make you understand? Why can't I be normal? Why?
Well I must deal with what I have been dealt I guess and pray you understand one day and don't go through with a divorce. I love you more than you'll ever know. Please forgive me. Love you forever and always. Your wife.

It's tightening around my neck slowly more and more
Every second that goes by the anxiety just gets worse I can't breathe
Why must this happen? Why can't this just go away? It's so random
Sometimes it seems like there is something that causes it but other times BAM! It just happens no rhyme no reason.
I do things to try to make it go away, meditate, deep breaths, when it's really bad I go to the meds.
I hate going to the meds it's admitting defeat.
I hate being defeated I like to win but with anxiety that's a rarity.
Go away, Stay away never to return that is my prayer but it seems it will never really be fully answered
I will continue to do what I can to lessen the anxiety and hope , hope that one day I will conquer it!

I fall so deep into the darkness I can't find my way out
I look for the light but it is no where to be found, it has escaped from me again.
Why does it hide from me? Why does it run?
I cry, I pray, I do everything I can just hoping for the light to enter back into my life.
Where is it?
I listen to what I am supposed to do and I do it yet it still evades me. Why?
Then one day I think I see it. Peeking over the horizon. Can it be true?
It is! It is! It's the light! Slowly it enters back into my life lighting up everything the way it's supposed to be.
I am happy the way I'm supposed to be
The darkness is gone for now but it will return one day
Until that day I will bask in the light and enjoy it
I am happy

Pain courses throughout my body when will it stop?
Almost a constant here, there, almost everywhere.
It pops up at the most inopportune times I feel like I can't enjoy my life.
Please stop I beg. I plead with my Lord to make it stop.
What have I done I ask? I repent of my sins.
But alas it does not stop.
I think in my head what I've heard so many times.
He does not give you more than you can handle.
Well then he must think I'm one hell of a woman, a very strong woman.
So until the day it stops I will deal the best I can and hold on for another day.
For I am a mom, a wife, a friend, and more so I must stay strong and hold my head high.