Depression, regression my true feelings I must not show, for if I do what will they all do? What will they say? Will they all turn just turn their heads and run away?
These feeling I hate yet they keep returning into my life like the seasons but unpredictable as to when like a raging tornado. The doctors, the meds all in my head supposed to help and it seems at times they do.
Friends and family try to be there they try to understand but so many times they get frustrated, as if I"m not? Do they really think I enjoy feeling like this? Then having to put on a facade just so people know when I'm working or interacting with new people. All the meds they help then they don't Aaahhh!!!
I"m so afraid, so ashamed, I should be able to control this right? I don't want to lose my friends and family but it seems like this may become the inevitable. When I'm depressed all I want to do is lay in bed do nothing, there in lies the problem. I have to work, I love my job. I have to take care of my family and the house, I LOVE my family more than words can ever say. WHY? Why must I feel like this??
Depression, regression will it ever stop? I'm afraid in my world the world that is bipolar.... no.