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i've gone to war with my own skin.
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i'm sorry i never bloomed. leave all the things i wish i was on top of here.
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i never grew wings.
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you will not find me here.
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i never could find myself.
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my bed might still smell like me.
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please, whatever you do, burn that notebook.
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i wanted someone to read it.
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i never had a someone.
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my heart lies over the delmarva.
Sometimes I feel so hollow
just a shell of who I was or would have become
My internal war destroys what I think I want
making me feel doubt about it all
most days I stop trying to fight it
letting it consume what little happiness
I find..its greedy like that
always wanting more..
I know its selfish to allow others in
when darkness will surely win...
It is the hour of always, at this time
you are obvious in my eye
and wispy layers of vivid thoughts
gather in the grace of sentiment
embellishing the sounds of a frail mind
  
It is the hour of always
at this time, I cannot heed a blink’s delay
suspended on the lid  of a solitary thought;
running to your side
  
                                                                ­     A second is three days away
                                                            ­                                    I cannot wait

   I am me in the absence of me
losing ground within your stance
arriving in your arms
drowning slowly in place
I am sound within your hands
I am graceless in the kindness of your gaze.
 Dec 2015 Ariel Baptista
mikecccc
hey you kids
drop your phones
your gaming devices
and stop glaring at the TV

go outside
just
watch out for bears
and trucks
and don't forget
your benadryl.
Probably every other girl has been perfect in her eyes.

"I feel like my love for you is a journey..."

That was right
Cause all journeys have an end.
They can't end at never

Our love began at never
And ended at forever.
With lots of love
 Dec 2015 Ariel Baptista
Brittani
We never turn the light off
It's like we're expecting you to walk in the door any minute
You won't.
But somehow it helps
If we turn it off,
We would have to accept that you're really gone
We can't.
So we don't
Hope is found where the light is
Even though there is no hope,
Even though we've put you to rest,
Even though you aren't coming back,
We're all just looking for something to hold onto
It's false hope
I know.
But it's all we've got
 Dec 2015 Ariel Baptista
MS Lim
Isn't every day the same then
the slow-grinding hours at work in the city
waiting for the clock to  tick faster
the tedium, ennui and feelings close to misery?

how dreadful to get up in the early hours
(this winter is beyond endurance)
breakfast eaten in a hurry
to catch the 6-elevens

half-asleep in the train
(fearful to miss the stop--drowsy)
doleful and tired faces all around
(isn't everyone unhappy?)

irascible boss
stingy as hell
the office doesn't have enough heating
but none is brave enough to tell

lest he gets the flick
(this is recession-time, jobs are hard to come by)
no salary increase or annual bonus
all that you can do is to suffer in silence and sigh

long hours, no thanks from Mr Glum
(none dares take sick-leave)
Paul took two days and was shown the door
working conditions here are beyond belief.

week-ends---the same humdrum
too many beers and betting at the race
( Nancy threatens divorce---my losing spell)
my life is a dreadful failure---I am a total disgrace

return home at midnight after too much *****
broke, worry sick, can't sleep---how to survive
the next week?--Sammy lends money at 10% a week
I depend on him (he's a good friend) to stay alive.

You my friend told me the other day
'  Eh, mate--you have lost weight and look unwell'
  you John my dear friend are dead-right
   my life is worse than hell!
nil
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