she settles in sadness
she breathes in fear

his words are the windows
daring her to find someone near
yet, his hands are the doors
that isolate her from everyone

she lived in sadness
she breathed through fear

in the end
her tears were the structure,
too strong,
for her to disappear

after 14 years
I've never given you up
I need to
move on
I must

if they knew
they'd taunt
say 'what is wrong with you'

I cant
I've tried

hes stuck in my head
the pain- never ending
the questions- building
I'm never going to escape

so ask me who I am
maybe I should tell you, finally

whether he and I knew one other for a full life  or a day
we always will be inseparable

I am my father's daughter

I can't breathe
they're giving me oxygen

my eyes are heavy
they're softly reassuring me

I saw the sun
they told me it'd be the last light I'd see

today
I have your arms around me
your heart beating beside mine
I see more than light

I see a calm
I'd never thought I'd have again

This September
don't wait for my voice
don't watch for my smile
don't anticipate my touch

I'm silent once again

I know you don't understand
but
I don't even have the answers myself

silence is a huge part of me
a shadow, ready to take over

I know you get frustrated
but
save your anger

my silence doesn't need to affect you

... I'm sorry if it does

I don't need to mean anything, especially not to someone special like you.

Your silence does not taunt me anymore

I've learned to listen
not to your words
nor your actions

I listen to chirping birds
and buzzing bumble bees

you're haughty smile does not suffocate me anymore

I've learned to feel
not  your icy touch
nor your forceful grip

I feel the wind in my hair
and the sun dancing on my skin


I don't need your silence
I don't need your arrogant touch
I've learned to live
my soul and nature all in one

I lost my wit
when you stole my words
the smiles seemed enough

now I'm sitting here
alone again
everyone wonders why I'm bitter
every time, your name is on the tip of my tongue
but I spare you, again an again

I gained insecurity
when you left me for the dirt
the silence seems to be all I can handle

White resembles you
Because when I close my eyes, you are not there
White resembles you
Because when I gather the roses, you are not in my hands
White resembles you
Because when I enter the hospital, you are all I can see, all I can hear, all I can feel, all I can remember