Inside of the infinite
I'm feeling rather finite
and I find
that high tide
is my time
to dine with the divine

twice a day
once in the light
once in the night

an angel with stretched wings pulled by a string
longer than it seems writing symphonies in my dreams
she whisper when she sings
each song rings betwixt my ears
reverberating reverence
evidence of the eternal
never evident if I'll return whole
each trip through the worm hole
requires a sacrifice

peace of life

many nights lying awake with gut rot
many lights where the wrong fight got fought
the water is rising
yet the boat is not

Sometimes I wonder
sometimes I wander
most times I both.

Each that I don't the thought of you is what got me through.
A soft touch, warm embrace, I am longing for the taste.
Palm to palm, chest to chest.

Sprawled upon the lakeside grass
waiting for the dreaming of you.

Sometimes I wrought
sometimes I rot
most times I both

Each that I don't it is fitting that I'm sitting with you
chest to chest, face to face.

Sprawled upon the lakeside grass
dreaming of and waiting for
You.

In a time of only black and white I am half past colored,
choking on grey.
Relentless in my decent I am sent into the fray.
Sentimental sense gone and washed away.
Clean like our hands dipped in dismay.
Can we interest you in a few "I guess it's true" well that's too bad, it's all that's being offered. And it's awfully absurd.
Can't recall when it occurred but here it is. Inside my every word. Within my every waking moment I am observed in blur and slapped with a slur attached to defining my ability to serve. Smothered in the debris of everyone before me, my book is 30 chapters of the same story.
I break from the mold demanding the ever intensifying focus of eyes wide open as I preach from the curb screaming from within my own skin. But I am speaking in tongues
and these ones, well, they are deaf anyway.
In a time of only black and white I am half past colored,
choking on grey.

It is ironically funny,
that in the land of milk and honey I pray for two shots of whiskey.
Tell the devil come and get me,
but, I'm not going gently.
I never met a single sorrow that I was able to drown,
yet, never had a wrong up that I couldn’t write down.
So even though my demons keep following me around,
they don’t talk to me now, they don’t even make sound.
They just lick their lips and then they look at me and grin
while I'm gripping this pen like, I'm never getting it again.
It is almost as if they think I'm writing it for them.
But why would I want to play a game that no one gets to win?
I would like to welcome you to my mind; but I'm out of it.
How is it I'm proud of it and still not powerless?
It's simple, my prowess is not made of counterfeits.
And now it gets people to keep openly noticing the potency of the flow in me is known to be overly, thought provokingly, and notably infectious.
My poetry is restless, so, just knowing me is reckless.

Indigo sunrise on midnight skies
Crimson fog rolls on and over every shoulder
Soul demands that were holding hands
But our fingers never interlace as we enter space
And exit gracefully
We all together free-fall forever
Heavily bleeding hardly breathing
Heavenly seething far from leaving
Ironic how the difference between a smile and a grin is within the eyes
Are you certain your discernment wasn't descended from a serpent?
There’s purpose on the surface but everything under that is worthless  
Too many links in the chain to measure its length
Or the faith in its own strength
Beguiled by the mild high of the wild fly
Who, somehow always remembers to forget
However never has to do either

I was loving my trip down memory lane, until it became painful. I have such a new sane brain, but the same stained halo.

That’s the risk when I reminisce of the Mist, while the whole world's bliss slips through my fingertips. Still, I missed the point.

With no comprehension, flipped a coin, and I filled my vision with fiction. Like an addiction to friction, everything had to be rough including the way that I loved.

I’m not saying I live with regret, I'm just trying to learn from my missteps. As I’m walking this tight rope I’m holding no high hopes.

I'm keeping my mind open and focused only to notice, I’m still on the ground. They're crowding around demanding my crown.

And I can only scream one thing,
I AM THE RULER I AM THE KING

Stuck inside my mind,
trying to find what it's worth.

I tore apart my heart,
just to see if it would hurt.

Analogies and metaphors never seem to help,
because the only one who doesn't understand them is myself.

I know you can SEE me, go ahead and take a look. I know that you can read me, I am an open book. That just so happens to get put back on the shelf. Never asked to get pushed, I don't need your help. I'm perfectly capable of destroying myself with my guns blazing and my lungs screaming. Ready to **** any demon that's facing me so I can, basically, make for me, a little place to be slightly above average. Everyone has baggage, but I have more than an airport and train station combined. That's why I'm make-shifting mine into something like music, that's obviously for you ears. If only you could hear half as well as you can SEE
No sweat. It's not like I expect to win this bet. But, I'm still playing my cards. Because once upon a time the moon and Mars along with the stars could have been ours. But scabs turn to scars after just a few bars. Depressed and broke I looked upstairs and spoke

"I have holes in my boxers and even more in my socks, sir. And this grey sky above is killing my sense of love. I'll put all my issues in these shoes, then on top of you. Just so I can prove the sky isn't blue, we've all been lied to."


Why do you keep running through my mind? Can we slow down and walk? Can we sit down and talk? Or are you, too, eager to become a believer?
"Maybe she's a deceiver come to steal away your leisure and keep it beneath her."

What if she's neither?

I prepared for the fight of my life. Until she held me and began to tell me...

"Tony, I'm more impressed by your tattoos than your battle wounds. Now lock away the sad in you, I came here just to rattle you and drag a smile out of you."

I replied "Hopes and tries with wide open eyes disguise the demise that hides behind the lies to the who's? The what's? The when, where's and why's."
But not the how's.
Those are in the clouds floating through your house, made of the cigarette smoke that falls out the love-hole you call a mouth. What the hell are these halls about? There's hardly any room for rooms. So it is safe to assume the broom can't go in the closet. That's my skeleton deposit, or whatever you call it.
Like I'm in a cage at a rave, I'm a rage-aholic. I love this book but find this page, appalling. I'm uncertain if I should turn it, or burn it. What if when I learn it I find the verdict disturbing?

Merely retreated, I have yet to be defeated. Maybe one day I will actually be able to slay the demons I keep at bay, like I do with all the ones that stand in my way. Face them, no fear. No one stands here, except me.

I am the ruler,
I am the king

I can outright out write any song you can sing. Pulling my pen out of my pocket, I'm unsheathing my sword because I've felt this feeling before.
Like your favorite guitar player reaching the cord that gets you every time like it snuck from behind.
I grabbed my book of rhymes and began to climb out my own grave, so I might be home late. Don't bother to wait up, I promise I'll save us.
Even though it burdens me like a thousand times of gravity,
there is not a place I'd rather be.
But, actually, I'm slightly sad to see that you're automatically having me ecstatically jumping out my seat. What this means, is my dreams are pushed out the slip stream and then it seems to have ripped seams like some chick's jeans.
I can't have that.
So how about you stand back? I'm going to need room to drop bombs...
BOOM
In this mind of mine that you can call a tomb, your face is barely seen like the moon at noon.
Your voice still haunt me, though I'll fix that soon.

Stuck inside my mind,
couldn't find what it's worth.

Tore apart my heart,
and it didn't even hurt.

Analogies and metaphors never seem to help,
because the only who doesn't understand them is myself.

The skies are clear, between these ears.
Days turn to minutes, while months turn to years.

I'm set in stone,
how are you still molding your clay?
Don't look at me that way.
I take on your whole week in just one day.

So take shots and smoke ***, rather then not.
Simply forgot or just part of the plot?

Does the sleeve hold an ace or just empty space?
Whatever he's got, it seems like a lot
of riddles and

trickery.

I'll spit this heat until you're sick of me.
You're every bit of free so sit and see
how quickly we can be
each other's enemy.

With no help or aid
the trembling lending hand is afraid.
Would you have stayed?
If things were taken to the grave
instead of put on display
like they're cut into a high top fade

Powerful or powerless
carefully creeping
with a slithering prowess.
Don't tell the cowards.
Because.

They will sacrifice hours
To take what's ours

I tried to whisper your name yesterday,
but all I could do was scream.
I tried to remember your face,
but all I could do was *dream

Music turned up louder than our ears can even hear.
Slurping and gulping down elixers of courage.
Brave as we want to be dancing furiously,
but more so fearlessly.
The one you came to hear is me,
anything else is heresy.

Zombies can rock but never make you come alive.
So I press my scepter to my lips
and scream to my fist
"Make 'em move like THIS!"

...And just like that all minds are lost...
...Priceless or worthless whatever the cost...

You are not the last of us,
just one of the blastphemous.

Alas my friend,
we meet again
as seemingly meaningful
butterfly kisses and dangerous pillow talk
turn to candle lit confessions
of past regrets and future sins.

Words whispered in the wind
float past my eardrums to beat upon my brain.
Like I'm insane I strain to strain
them out as scribbles, scrawled and sprawled,
over pages telling stories of painful ages
and chain filled cages.

Once upon a time's and used to be's
are not here's and now's.
But if ups have downs,
and smiles have frowns.

Then fortunately for my dark past behind me
I have blank paper in front of me
and I don't so much write, as

quite literally induce lucid memory with literature

only your mind can see,
in the deepest of its own depths.
More towards the chest.
Where shadows dance
like jesters, dressed to impressed her
with moves so fluent they flow like fluid, I can do it.

Plant a seed the size of a grain of sand and
watch it grow like a Beanstalk, talk
about power. Watch your watch
as the second hand moves like the hour.

Now you're in my time.

So entwined is my mind body and soul
every word I let roll off my tongue
is like foreplay to a *******.
And when I hit the rhyme at the end of the line,
its like freedom.

You sit here and bare witness to my words
climbing your defenses with the swiftness
of the worlds most ******* parcor.
So are your
thoughts that pure?
And are you sure you know how to endure
if they never find a cure?

With a view so obscured,
let me make these words clear.
I stand right here as all of your love as well as your fear.

Beyond the dark or the light.
I am the link between tranquil black and blinding white.
Even having no sight my words grip you tight.
And when my body is dead decaying and rotten,
like our children, they will not be forgotten.
Because words are the most immortal thing we've ever taught them.

I don't think a lot,
but I do a lot of thinking.
I don't drink a lot,
but I do a lot of drinking.

And it doesn't seem to stop
this feeling from sinking,
or my all seeing eye from blinking.

Breifly breaking my hindsight of the future
and disrupting my focus,
but you know what the joke is?

I'm fine with that.

And I find myself finding that,
absolutely hilarious.
So I laugh in the face of the scariest
demons and monsters
that your insecurities can conjure.

I believe I can beat them
because I know they can't defeat me.

I have an army of faith,
swarming and storming towards the creatures
easily slaying the doubts and questions,
hesitations from transgressions
attempting to slow my march.

But amidst all this bloodshed,
I must admit my head
is quite clear of all fear.
Instead filled with knowledge,
and if not that then belief,
and if neither are the case,

faith takes their place.

Digging through dreams,
to unearth confessions.
Can't you see the difference
between deception and discretion?
Or are you distracted by the cracks in the perfection?

A timid but ever relentless conscience
guides the human like responses.
Remind me that I'm only mortal
Take hold of my soul,
no need to be cordial you can be forceful.

Show me your strength and to what length you're willing to go
Question me for the answers you're not just dying
but killing to know.

These visions that I've fit you in,
you claim aren't genuine
and have no impact on real life.
But to me it feels like steel spikes
so I keep the seal tight.

If we both know what love takes
let's open up them flood gates
and give it a run for it's money.
We'll do it for Slug's sake,
because I'm not the coldest hopeless romantic rapper.

After the smoke clears
and cheeks have soaked tears
I stood and spoke here,
even if it was to closed ears.
Doesn't matter how rough the road
or that the rain is cold.

*'Cause I'm gonna be alright,
and you're gonna be alright,
you ain't gotta hold my hand
just walk with me tonight.

Can you explain the destruction?
No?
Then it doesn't mean that much then.
So?

Why do you try so hard to be a liar?
You know just as well as I,
there is no fire.

You're a farce, a fake, a fluke
a sham...
Just like I am.

You've done no good here,
only spilled your beer
and stained the crystal clear veneer.

You act like you've saved someone,
don't make me laugh.
Broke all of the one million pieces,
you do the math...

Can you hear me?
Of course you cant...

You're too busy...
trying to breathe life into my screaming lungs.

But your twisting silver tongue
can never undo the damage that's been done.

Build your sickeningly silky and slick
web of words and hypocritcal contradictions.

Keep scratching the scabs if they keep itching,
but keep in mind they will start bleeding.

Dance my puppet dance,
because it make my princess laugh.

Among this aftermath,
her smile is all that I have

More ment for torment then enjoyment
a story of how a young boy went
from scared to scarred, caged and barred
to ruling the whole school yard.

Self taught on how to be a man
making makeshift sense of anything he can,
looking at the puzzle with no pieces in hand
she couldn't stand the picture, so she took them and ran.

Confessions of secrets well known
eroded by the wind, worn down to the bone.
Never felt more alone in his own home,
he can only hear you if you speak in the right tone

She can see it on his face,
he needs her in this place
and if they keep this pace,
she could be one of the greats.

But can she bench press the stress he puts on her?
With nothing but faith and love as her sponser,
no sword or shield, ready to defend their honor
she came head to head with his monster.

Tested in time
by the rest of his mind,
through the mess she will find
she has less to unwind.

Wearing his shirt,
cleaning his dirt,
taking the hurt,
because she knows they will work.

Arms open and hands empty.
Wanting nothing more than to love him simply,
she keeps his focus away from the tempting.
I asked where she came from
she whispered to me gently...

*The heavens sent me.

You have the right to love
and be loved as well.
The right to, not just break but, shatter from your shell.
Run free, run proud
sing to me and sing it loud.
Slacks and dresses spinning and twirling,
backs and arms bending and curling.
Dance like the puppets do
not seeing the strings touching you.

please puppet master loosen your grip
please god let his hand slip

Listen to me love theres no need
for the begging and the pleeding,
theres no reason for the weeping and the bleeding.
Never stray from whats true in your heart
and like a soft candle light,
it will guide you through the dark.

Now I've spoke with your master
it's not such a disaster,
he told me with no laughter,
"No one will ever out last her."

But the grey sky above has killed my sense of love
and with so much to talk about
but nothing left to say,
I bit my tongue
and just walked away.

This is no show
we can go slow
cuz I don't know
how to throw snow.
Everything is always on fire,
with crackling, roaring flames
burning shames, names, bridges
and everything the same...

So far beyond an open book
just pages on the floor,
you can go ahead and look
if you know what you're searching for,
but there's a fine line between flowing and bleeding,
an even finer one between knowing and believing
and **** near none at all between showing and deceiving.

It's more about what you're taking than what you're leaving,
what you're hearing than what you're seeing.
Peering through that looking glass
I can tell you can't see past
all the cracks, that's why you ask
where I got this mask.

I made it myself; do you like it?
I can see it on your face you don't love it at all...
If you don't want to dance you can stand against the wall
and if you don't want to fall,
you can lay down and crawl.
Just keep moving through the crowd then,
but you can't stop my sound from pounding
your thoughts just as it stops;
I trace your face.

And with nothing left to ask from you
I have one last task for you.
I made a mask for you
it's petite and small
but can cover it all,
so put it on my love.
Welcome to my Masquerade Ball

Over royal tombs and palace walls,
moonlit dreams spread whispers of the rising sun.

Come to me says the sirens song
Come to me, lay down your sword, lay down your shield
Come to me

Shadowy figures gather within the dark spots of her eyes
to share secrets of why she can't see.
Vision stolen by the greatest of thieves,
capable of stealing things that aren't yours to begin with;
Nor anyone elses.

But when the stars come down to kiss goodnight
and she rests her head on the softest planets,
sprawling across galaxies, wrapping her body-less soul in a warm nebula,
the sweetest dreams will cradle her new born thoughts,
tugging at the strings to her wings,
drowning out every siren that sings and brings their destruction
with out having to touch them.

Standing on rooftops chanting paganisms toward the heavens
like a heathen taunting the sky fire.
And it comes,
like the rain from home it comes;
It always does.

And as the gentle sunrise graces her face,
lighting up and opening the windows to her soul
I see that it's burning cyan-hazel flames;
Make moonlit dreams become sun soaked realities

Love notes disguised
As poems she wrote,
Are hidden under the pillow
Where she rests her head
On the bed that holds the only world
Where true love can blossom;

Because in this one
She gave her flowers away,
But they were tossed in
A locked bin and forgotten,
Now broken hearted and feeling discarded
she runs harder then when the race started

Has a destination in mind but no end in sight
Just the moon and the light from the stars in the night
She pours out her heart, I see the scars from the fights

And as I lay my mind, body and soul
On top of hers in an attempt
To use these words to heal anything that hurts
...We burst...

Into a realm where every reflection
Is the exact perfection you were never expecting
To discover in each other
Couldn't find it in yourself let alone another

Now the ground, once covered in moss and things
Is awesomely blossoming
With the most beautiful flowers,
Not often seen by the eyes of the waking world,

I turn to this girl

And speaking soft as all time stopped
She said to me


"You've never been here before.
But I have spent more time here than there,
for various reasons I'd rather not share.
My mind, body and soul bid you welcome
to the only place I can help them.
This is my heart.
The very essence of my core,
what you see is all I have,
and nothing more.
So please tread light,
my heavily and shiny armored knight."


While I remove my armor,
I can't help but wonder
Would I get trapped in this bliss
If we happened to kiss
The softest green blades between my toes
I've never felt grass like this
So I walk slowly toward her
I know; I may not get another pass at this.

Soft lullabies of the sirens song
Are sang with no remorse
Thinking this could be a trap
As I lay my head back
Worlds collided
Behind each eyelid
While she slept
Every secret she kept crept
Through the darkness of the room
Seeking to consume all we assumed
Swallowing me whole
As I try to keep hold
Of my curiousity
And not let my thoughts
Run off with me
Pulling the questions from under me

What is she wondering?
Why does the rain keep thundering?
How long will her dreams keep her away from me?
When will she wake up?
Where will she be?
Who will she see?

Will it be me?
Or just the reminiscence of broken memories
I fought everything she brought
And I thought that I taught myself better
Yet here she sleeps
As I watch her dreams seep
Into the deep depths
Where her nightmare-ish demons rule
The one and only thing I can do
Is plant the seed and hope it doesn't bleed
It's not up to me what she lets run free
But observing her wishes and hopes
Grow and pop like over inflated balloons
Is taking a tole on me
She's unknowingly breaking the whole of me
And picking the pieces apart
Sticking them back at the start
In my sickening blackened heart

From behind the scars
Her mind and heart whisper to me

"She won't let us tell you
But we're tired of the struggle
So we speak to you while we still have control
This girl that you hold...
Has a skull full of doubt
And it starting to push us out
It's shade of blue is shining through
So we don't know what else to do
We might just let her love you...
If you gave us the chance
We could make her legs dance
Then she would love you...
With no remorse, we promise, she would love you"

I peer upon the closed windows to her soul
And want nothing more
Then to rip them open and scream

I LOVE YOU!

Because I want her very spirit to hear it.

You're pulling on me so hard
But only pushing me away;
Seeking answers to questions
I didn't want you to ask

-Not so fast-
That's the darkest part of my past
I keep people like you
From tackling the task
Of removing this mask
Because if you did
You'd jump back and gasp

This face is contorted and sort of;
My punishment for running ****,
So you deserve none of it.

Your words are so lovely
But you know nothing of me,
Not of the things I have done
Like grabbing a hold of the sun
Stuffing it into my gun
And letting it blaze
Just to feel the warmth on my face
I'm not just a maze-

I am the most elaborate of labyrinths

And you just dropped your self in the middle
The devil plays a fiddle
But I play with riddles

What do you have to choose
When there's nothing left to lose?
Do you still play by the rules,
Or do you call it a ruse?

You're blasting those speakers
But I see your broken fuse
I'm standing here confused
Like white noise and static?...


Is that it?


Words are words
And through the curves and turns
They can't speak like we want them to,
I seek not to run from you
I'm just busy fighting my own writing
Because everything I'm hiding
Is riding, on me now
I have questions of my own
But I don't see how
You think the answers are so blatant
And you're patiently waitin'
For everything to be taken,
By my hands;

Little do you know
They are both quite full
With these burdens that I hold,
I'm not saying you should go
Just warning you to roll
With every punch that I throw
-Otherwise-
They will take you off your feet
And break you in the street
Eventually
Make you into me...

And that's the last thing
I ever want to see.

Desire is the fire that burns
Through my entire attire,
Forcing my naked soul into this brightly lit
But deceivingly sick world-
That this angel, this girl
Is the queen of;
She is everything we can only dream of
Yet she stands in front of me,
Of all the people,
The most broken and most evil
She stand in front of

-ME-

And I can't figure out if life is over
Or if I am just sleeping,
Because last time I checked
I only see her while I'm dreaming,
And when it's this pitch black
I feel like I'm screaming-


But there's nothing but silence
...
And while it tears me apart
This is the only way
I can reach out from the dark
Because my mind can not find
The words held in my heart
That's why this was written in blood
From the start.
..........
.........
........
.......
......
.....
....
..­.
..
.

Destruction rains down
From a storm stricken cloud
The wind muffles the sound
Of the rain drops shattering the ground


Like the concrete is made of glass
Being not the first but the last
Is the only thing I could ask
If she would ever read past


The cover of the book
To give it one more look
Or hand back what she took
My bishop, knight; and rook


Her darkness harbors creatures
With the all her demon's features
Why should it be me first?
Does she really think I can defeat her's?



These walls were built with the intention
To keep all of mine fenced in
In hopes one day to send them
To some other dimension


Alas; I have fought three or four
Of her demons before
But when I asked for more
She locked the door


So I can't keep believing
That she's going to keep reading
The truth is she's leaving
And I still feel like I'm bleeding.

I can't stand the thought
Of someone taking you
Breaking you, or even making you

Label me selfish
But at least I know what I want

All my 1,000 words
Are short and sweet
But you can't even taste them
Let alone see

You're blind, deaf and dumb
To my 100 meter run
Now my legs are tired
So I'm going to sit this one out

The breeze feels good
But I question It's worth
Lost by the map
There's no treasure in this dirt

The offer still stands
I won't take it back
But the longer you sit
The more it has slack

One day it will reduce
To a coiled wire
Just a another song
Sung by my choir

Carried by the  birds
That brought the first one
Buried under the words
Only ones that burnt them

Your wings can flap
The trees will sap
Your hands can clap
The thunder will crack

What else is new
The sky isn't blue
Only these thoughts of you
Can make it true
So what am I left to do

You're nothing but a lumber jack
Come to cut me down
But when the hungers back
You're nowhere to be found
So as I fall to the ground
I am the only one to say TIMBER

My nightly routine now days
Is to sit and watch the sun raise
Above these graves
Not to absorb it's majesty
But to observe the tragedy
As the warmth flows though my veins
Wishing it could chase away the shame
And anything that looks the same
Now here comes the rain
No here comes the hurricane
With winds stronger
Then any demon I've fought, bottle I've bought
Pill that I've popped or drug I've dropped
So more often then not
I've sought to put holes in your plot
In hopes to stop the thought you brought
From taking over your mind this time
It's not as easy as you think
When you stand on the brink
Of being extinct and begin to sink
But my instinct tells me
What I don't understand
Am I any less of a man
Just because I can surpass your demands
And land in the sand with a helping hand
You have too much on your plate
And I'm looking for a meal to steal
But you think I'm carefully
Searching for clarity and apparently
I can't handle the hunger
I wonder how you got under
This wrong impression
Was it the aggression
Or just it's direction
I pack my pistols with pencils
And point them at these pages
With faith that it's contagious
Run to or run from
Any and everything under the sun
And when you're done if you come
With some type of gun
Be sure to take it off stun
And make that *** weigh a ton
You wake up shirtless on purpose
The thought that comes first is
Was it worth this?
I'm not going to lie
I still wonder why you even came by
Because through my eye view of you
Everything is plain and clear
But when you SEE me
Everything fades and smears
So what's it going to be
I'm not settling for "friend"
I'm not going to buy it
I want to hear the wind again
It's far too quiet...

Mourn for the lost
Have scorn for the cost
It was too much to ask
And it happened too fast

Run from desire
Seek shelter in the fire
Run to the end of it
And witness the oblivion

Unveil your darkness
Harvest the heartless
Cower from your shadows
Never drift from the shallows

Cautious and wary
Fore the unkown is scary
Courage will be needed
If demons are to be defeated

You want to SEE I'll show you
Come with me I'll hold you
This wind can take us where ever
So lets not worry about the weather.