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There's so many stars to count
One for your every heart beat
When you're not with me
I look to the sky at night
And as I count them again
I see your heart within my reach
 Jan 2015 Anggun Russell
Alicia
Looking back at old pictures.
Because who wouldn't want to go back to being the once so strong and confident being they used to be.
Because I know I would.

A.C
There's plenty reasons

You'll never love me

My body is one

It's far from the best

It's one of the worst

Also I'm not pretty

All the other girls are

I'm not very clever

Not compared to you

I'm just average

I don't stand out

I have loads of spots

That not even make up

Can cover up

I'm not at all popular

Not many people like me

They'd rather spend their time

Making fun of me

I'm not very tanned

Instead very pale

And everyone likes tanned skin

With slim bodies to match

We both know I have none of that

My eyes aren't perfect

So don't look too close

My personality doesn't stand out

I can be very quiet

Or at times very loud

Loose strands in my hair

Fly everywhere

Loads of split ends

You are just my friend

I'm stuck in the friend zone

I don't like myself

So I don't know how you'd cope

I'm lucky to have you

Just as a friend

But I can't help wanting more than that

So reasons why you'll never love me

There's more than a few

Those are some of them

But don't worry there's more too
This is one I did ages ago but I thought I'd post it.
 Jan 2015 Anggun Russell
Alicia
I live in fear that one day
Someone will come.

They may be the best thing to ever happen to me
or not.

They will tear down the walls
I have so intricately hid behind

And leave me to wonder how I will ever
Repair my once so strong fortress.
A.C
You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may **** me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise
again and again.
Leaning into the afternoons,
I cast my sad nets towards your oceanic eyes.
There, in the highest blaze my solitude lengthens and flames;
Its arms turning like a drowning man's.
I send out red signals across your absent eyes
That wave like the sea, or the beach by a lighthouse.
You keep only darkness my distant female;
>From your regard sometimes, the coast of dread emerges.

Leaning into the afternoons,
I fling my sad nets to that sea that is thrashed
By your oceanic eyes.
The birds of night peck at the first stars
That flash like my soul when I love you.
The night, gallops on its shadowy mare
Shedding blue tassels over the land.
Don't go far off, not even for a day, because --
because -- I don't know how to say it: a day is long
and I will be waiting for you, as in an empty station
when the trains are parked off somewhere else, asleep.

Don't leave me, even for an hour, because
then the little drops of anguish will all run together,
the smoke that roams looking for a home will drift
into me, choking my lost heart.

Oh, may your silhouette never dissolve on the beach;
may your eyelids never flutter into the empty distance.
Don't leave me for a second, my dearest,

because in that moment you'll have gone so far
I'll wander mazily over all the earth, asking,
Will you come back? Will you leave me here, dying?
I feel as if my face is always red,
windblasted by words formed like icy crystals in the mirror
permeating my bones and leaving me so weary that I can barely stand.

They don't let me fly.
I keep asking why.
They block out the sun
and I just want to run.

I am trying to keep my feet but twisters are discreetly forming in my mind and
I am kneeling in this frozen tornado watching life swirl around me out of focus by the speeding snow of my own insecurities; screams raging behind my eyes, watching those in homes sit by the fire, finding ways I have not yet discovered to block out the chill eating at our bones.

Those I reach through the swirling haze can grasp a freezing hand attached to a shivering man who falls and falls and falls again but always manages to fight the wind.
There is still fire within these frozen bones, it just hasn't found a way to melt the cold and grey.

As sure as stars blink when I close my eyes, the sun will chase stormclouds in frozen skies.
In this mental blizzard I catch my breath and hear echos murmuring in the darkness.

"Winter doesn't last forever dear child, and neither will this."
I am the coldest person I know towards myself, and I can't stand it
He told me
It took two bottles of wine
Red
The perfect color
Then a beer
You still love me
You will always love me
That's what he said
But I'm not supposed to know
Because fate is more important to you

Than me

You would rather live with a memory
If that is what is meant to be
She Is Never Far Away

I wonder what she would say
If she were sitting here today
Would she tell us that her pain was gone
That God had taken it away

Would she tell us stories of the past
Or of what our future holds
Give a glimpse of what's in store
And say she met the Lord

Would she know how much we miss her
Miss the love that she once gave
Tell us that although she's gone
She's now in a better place

Would she sit and talk for hours
Give advice on what to do
Crochet an afghan blanket
Then say this one's for you

Would she say she sees her father
Her mother stands there by her side
She feels the sorrow that we have
But must walk into the light

Would she say she knows our love for her
Hears the prayers each night we say
That she will always be our mom
And she is never far away



In Memory for my mother
M. Yvonne Roberts**
1938 to 2014


Poem by Carl Joseph Roberts
I love you Mom
Walk in peace with the prince of peace.
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