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This is what I vow;
He shall have my heart to keep,
Sweetly will we stir and sleep,
    All the years, as now.
Swift the measured sands may run;
Love like this is never done;
He and I are welded one:
    This is what I vow.

    This is what I pray:
Keep him by me tenderly;
Keep him sweet in pride of me,
    Ever and a day;
Keep me from the old distress;
Let me, for our happiness,
Be the one to love the less:
    This is what I pray.

    This is what I know:
Lovers' oaths are thin as rain;
Love's a harbinger of pain--
    Would it were not so!
Ever is my heart a-thirst,
Ever is my love accurst;
He is neither last nor first:
    This is what I know.
I made a terrible mistake.

When I noticed
the different ways you smile,
or the times your voice softens when you speak.

I was a lost cause after that.
Memories make you uncomfortable
but they wrap themselves around me
So when I tell you stories
about Sunday mornings or Christmas trees
Please listen
to the tears I hold back

And I know it isn’t healthy to look back
Like a sweater you outgrew making you uncomfortable
But please listen
To the words tumbling from me
Like leaves falling from dying trees
Because all I have left are stories

And I scream them from skyline stories

I cannot hold them back
They take root in my brain like great trees
The branches spring from my throat uncomfortable
I must remove them from me
Please just listen

Because I’ve been distanced so just listen
These aren’t the stories
I wanted to weigh on me

But I’m back 
to being uncomfortable

in my own skin. Scratching like bark from trees

Do you remember the front yard? Decorated by trees
They sing in the wind if you listen
The sound would make me uncomfortable
Because of all the old stories
Of skeletons hung back
But you lit candles and wrapped rainbows around me

So forgive me
If I cry for skinned knees from falling down trees
that healed awhile back
And you don’t have to listen

If these stories

make you uncomfortable.



I’m uncomfortable

with the stories

being rewritten. So you don’t have to listen
i’m okay when i’m around people
or i’m chain smoking

i can leave my mind hazy

but

everybody leaves
and i run out of cigarettes
I am a burden.
I am a burden’s burden.
I am baggage
airlines can’t even lose.

I am destruction.
every person who has ever said they love me-
regrets it.
I am a fire
and I
burn
them
all
up

I am child-
no longer

I am damage
that cannot be undone

I am apologies
but I am not
acceptance
i could draw each line on your skin from memory

but as i breathe in your scent

i know that’s all we’ve become

my heartbeats out morris code for goodbye

and i try to escape into your arms

but time isn’t something from which you get to hide
Broken headstones speckle
the even sea
of your grassy hill

Panorama of your crest
hugged by blue sky

Among the memorials
long since uninhabited
the residents
returned to the earth

My thoughts are seeds
and your soil is fertile
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