I was standing over the water.
I could see the waves between the wooden cracks beneath me
The waves were violently hitting the post
It felt as if the world was at my fingertips,
And it just kept slipping through them
One minute we’re living life and the next we’re frozen in time,
It felt like nothing could ever go wrong
Our lives are put on hold but we’re expected to go along with it
As if were trapped in a riptide
We’re told the only way to escape is if we just go along with it
It feels like things will never be normal again
But sometimes we get a glimpse of normality and suddenly,
It’s ripped from our grasp
Like we saw a beautiful shell stranded in the sand and just as we’re about to grab it
The ocean steals it from our grasp
Like our lives are at a stop but at the same time
Its moving all to quickly
Like the rushing of waves
Colliding with one another
It’s like being stranded out in the middle of the ocean
Calling for help but everyone’s so preoccupied with one thing
They don’t even notice

Don’t let something like a boy drive you crazy
Soon it’ll turn you boy crazy

It’s not health to obsess over it
People will think your crazy

Some even find it unattractive
I think it’s just crazy

Something that’s forced
Can turn crazy

Love takes time
Don’t force it, give it time, it’ll be less crazy

Sometimes you think it’ll never come
But that’s someone thinking crazy

When people grow obsessed
They’re asking for the mayhem known as crazy

Amy says, let love take its time
Don’t force it, don’t turn crazy

Paralyzed from the waist down
I watched her climb out my window
Gracefully and slowly I watched her leave
And disappear into the darkness that has consumed me
I said goodbye to the happy girl I once saw myself as 
And welcomed the confused and lost girl I lay in bed as
Dreaming one day that the happy girl I used to be will come back and  replace this sad girl that I am now
But one can only hope for right now

Everything reminds me of him

My school
He came and sat in the parking lot with me till he had to go to work

The waterfront
The first place he watched me recklessly drive my car around the parking lot

The mall
Our first date

My car
The first time I drove and he absolutely hated it

His truck 
Where  I laid and finally felt at home in his arms

My room
Where his hoodie now lays in my bed 

My street 
Where he talked to my dad and bonded with him for an hour

His house
The exact place I found out I was in love with him

Everywhere I've been with him 
Reminds me of him

I guess I'll be leaving
For a long time of believing

Saying goodbye to the one I loved
I thought I could never unlove

But I did it
Every little bit

I threw away
Turning my life grey

But it wouldn't do me any good
So this is why I should

Should say goodbye
No, I won't go and die

Just go and let you move on
And I'll be far and gone

Because I tried
And I've cried

I lost sleep
I fell too deep

This hurts way too much
Even the slightest touch

I don't want to go
But I have to though

Did I really let you make me cry?
I fell to the floor but nothing was heard
I gave you my heart, I wanted to try
Tears cascade down turning my vision blurred

I watched my heartbreak and I watched it fall
I saw love in many abusive ways
I didn't move, but I felt the need to bawl
I craved it, wanted it for many days

The love that I had, wasn't really love
Beaten and bruised my poor, lost, little heart
Most times it wasn't a friendly little shove
I just wanted to have a fresh new start

When I left, I finally was set free
I left to find the real, happy me