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Pounding like thunder

      Every beat of my heart

      You read you ignore

      You tear me apart

      Yet I'm sitting here

      Foolish, lashing out on myself

      Knowing I shouldn't

      But I need it...to spell

      My hope, and my lust

      My falling in love

      Like an itch

      From a needle

      A snort of your drug

      Cause I'm spinning

      I'm drowning

      I'm lost in heart beats

      Hearing your voice

      As I'm falling asleep

      Wishing for darkness

      Grim reaper for peace

      Living ain't worth it

      I got it on lease

      Now I'm up for a trade in

      New model, New me

      But you know how it goes

      It's just a pricier fee

      So I'm walking around

      like you don't phase me

      Knowing you own me

      My heart and my head, see

      Even these lyrics ain't making sense

      How do I say what I mean

      At best

      A simple I love you

      No wait...so much more

      Crying

      Pounding my head on the floor

      Needing your arms your love

      And your lips

      The grind and the swivel

      The pounding of hips

      **** it I'm over

      Out and without

      **** up these lyrics

      **** them with doubt

      Think of me never

      Add it to song

      You knew I was falling

      That's it

      **** this song.......

     © MV
I blame my fingers
More than my heart
It speaks silently
While fingers
Loudly shout
On pages and on smartphone screens
Typing out
What my heart has tried
To keep
Under secrecy
Tearing me apart
Ripped sheets
As I push upon their mercy
No writing
No typing
No
But once it settles
Heart at steady
Fingers
Stab and jab
And so
They write
They question
They put into play
Heart
Attacks
Slows
Worries
Replays
And braces itself
For the come what mays
The consequences
Of heart betrayed
By finger stains.....

©MV
Careful what you say to her when she's under the covers...
When her hair is a mess and her face without colors....
Careful how you talk when she's feeling like she's nothing...
When she's eating a piece of cake or something really fattening....
Careful that you never break her fragile heart...
It took her quite some time, to get back to this  start....
To allow herself to be the real her, all exposed...
To actually eat, cause she couldn't, not even toast.....
It took a lot of courage to forget the things he did.....
A knife to her throat....
"Shut up *****"...
To learn to run from harmful things....
Careful how you address her,
And how you hold your tone....
Making her feel fat and ugly
Stupid and alone....
She may cry for a moment
But careful
It's what you don't see
Her thoughts and contemplations
"A life without me"
Careful cause she'll do it
Abusing misery
A few pills and an earl grey
Her final remedy
She'll swallow up the light
And rest upon the sea
Of stars and moons
And midnights
Careful
She will finally be free

And then maybe you'll understand
Maybe you'll finally change
And for once
In all this insanity
Things will never be the same......

©MV
Poetry.....

Stitching your heart together
On paper
Smearing blood
Upon crisp white
Sheets
Swirling images of life
With raw
Stained fingertips
Dying
To feel its beat...

Poetry.....

©MV
Touch me
So that I might
Finally
Inhale
Tonight

Barely Breathing .......

©MV
I'll tell you what it's like....
You'll smile at the thought of him
His whisper will convince you
That fire is pleasurable
Your heart will pound for him
And his, will calm your spiraling soul
You'll fight and try to hide your love
But it will flow out of you like water
Every wall, crumbled
He will control you
He will bend your neck to suit him
Tug at your hair
Control your breathing
Limit your air
You'll beg for death
Upon his lips
Only so that his
Could be your final kiss
You'll miss and ache
The moment you part
The soreness, the sweetest
Memory
And your heart?!
Will never again be
Even slightly yours
And you will long
To stay forever heartless
As long as it meant
You belonged to him
Eternally
Though it may just be
For a moment
A second
His......

©MV (drafting)
It was start of March
The beginning of rains
I was on top of him
****
Blankets around my waist
******* exposed
His taste
Still sweet
Inside my cheeks

We were talking
In the midst of it all
We were laughing
And joking
And play fighting

I was in love with him.....

I giggled against his lips
And he pulled the blankets up
Over our heads
Dark and so hot
We could almost lose our breath

He kissed me slow
His fist in my hair
He tugged me up
And then
He whispered in my ear
"I ******* love you"
I let out a sigh
Holding back tears
I wouldn't cry

Instead I pretended
I hadn't heard
Just to hear it again
Sure of his words

He repeated it
Then I begged him shut up
"You don't have to say it"
I felt it
Enough

I didn't want another lie
He looked me in my ******* eyes
"I know I don't have to, but I ******* do"
He said it again
"I ******* love you"

And with that
I let go
And let him catch me
"I ******* love you too"
And that's the memory
Of the night
I can say
I loved most truly
Still actually do
Though now
It's only
As stated above
A memory
Of the night
I fell .... Red

©MV
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