How could I forget?

         I was surrounded, confused,
        Overwhelmed, infused.
        Every waking moment,
        I breathed for you.
        I breathed Because of you.
        Everything I would do,
        It was challenging, it was new,
        It was with you.

             How could I forget?

        You made the hairs on the back of my neck stand,
        Constant butterflies and a shiver ran,
        Through my spine,
        Disc to disc,
        Wish for wish,
         I wouldn't take back any of it.

             How could I forget?

        Sentimental. Empty bottles I kept.
        Theres only one I held onto I regret,
        Keeping it bottled up to the brim.
        I'm volatile. Low boiling point.
        I'm missing something that needs,
        To be filled like an empty bookcase,
        But I find books hard to read.

         Why can't I seem to be at peace?

         Why am I tormented by my past feelings,
         When i try to go asleep?

Maybe I'm a bit upset,
Sometimes I wish I could forget,
But my memories are holding me up
By thin threads,

That are breaking,
More and more,
Everytime I walk out the door.

I could be seeing red,
But I'm feeling blue,
Because most things I see just remind me of you.

I skip breakfast,
I spill my tea,
I've never won a contest,
Outside I'm a mess when i ***.

I bite my nails,
I forget to brush my hair,
Tests I often fail,
Food I'm reluctant to share.

When you'd quote films,
I didn't understand,
But I'd always just want to hold your hand.
I got nervous before we'd kiss,
Afraid I'd do it wrong,
But its you the most i miss,
You're still here but we're gone.

I struggle when i count,
I find books hard to read,
I flinch when people shout,
I have a weird memory.

I'm overly apologetic,
Oh, how pathetic,
The definition of passive.
Aggressive, recessive
One big hidden message

I bear this crown of thorns,
Upon this twisted head,
From those I have been scorn,
Internally left for dead,
Eternally left forlorn.

Long bus journeys,
Pouring rain. Soaked to the bone,
Hunger pains.
Its already dark out,
Almost six. Waiting for the bus,
I feel so sick.
I'm alone. I'm so alone.
I'm off the bus, its seven
According to my phone.
Walking in the miserable dark,
Down the familiar path,
I'm dreading "home", Detention please take me back.
I get in the door, get yelled at and go up the stairs.
I'll just rest my head, I wake up to my alarm.
I'm  lying in bed.
I panic. My homework. It wasn't done last night
I'm crying, if i tell the truth they'll think I'm lying,
Its not alright.
I didn't forget. I didn't forget,
To them I lied and said the opposite.
They said "All the chances I gave you I regret"
"Just do your homework"
Do you not think i try? My essays are incomplete cause i stay up half the night, being yelled at.
"PLEASE EXCUSE AMELIA FOR NOT FINDING THE TIME TO DO, TWO MATHS PROBLEMS IN BETWEEN BEING EMOTIONALLY ABUSED"
So you give me MD after MD, saying it will "help" me.
To you I'm just another wasted youth with potential thats lazy,
I deserve no credentials because my work and attitude is hazy.
You must think that I dont care ,
But really I do, I'm trying I swear.
I cant fit school into my schedule.
Dear school, I really had fun,
With my friends, and now I'm almost done.
But you didn't help,all you did to me was yell.
You don't know me,im just a name and number on paper.
But perhaps my experiences would shock you like a tazer.
Stop being rude to your students, we all have our own ****,
Be nice instead, we all struggle a good bit, be nice dont pretend.
Yours unfortunately, Amelia
The End.