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Alyanne Cooper Aug 2015
He sits on my dashboard
Watching me as I drive
Much like he used to sit
Under your windshield
And watch the world go by.
He sits there and I try to forget
But he sits there and makes me remember.
So why don't I just toss this beat up bear away
Like you tossed our friendship aside?

Because I still love you
And I miss you.
Alyanne Cooper Aug 2015
My hands are rough with callouses
And my wrists sore from the bearing weight.
My knees creak as I rise from my seat
And ground is cold to my bare feet.
Skin marred with scars
And a soul just as mottled.
A past with more dark
Than light in its memories.
The albatross hangs round my neck,
And we share a name: Unwanted.

Who will want me?
Who will love me?
Alyanne Cooper Aug 2015
She had mousey brown hair
Always in a bun.
Her hazel eyes turned grey at times,
And she got pink in the sun.
She stood taller than I;
Though I desperately tried
To grow that extra four inches
Alas my genetics determined
It would not be so.
Her hands were not distinguished
But rather soft yet common.
(I grew very well acquainted with those knuckles.)
Her body once lithe before childbirth
Became a homely pear.
Not much, you may say, to look at.
But there were days, I'll tell you,
When she was more beautiful
Than the red harvest moon.
The days on which she smiled.
Those are the days I search for
In my memory.
For that is all I have left of her, you see.
Just this artfully lacking description
Based upon fading photographic memories.
Nothing tangible.
Just this imaginable
Portrait of my mother.

I miss who she used to be.
Alyanne Cooper Aug 2015
Tell me,

When children lay dying
In muddied dusty streets
In a place so far removed
From the world you've hewn
A niche all for yourself
And your loved ones,
Do you pity them?

Tell me,

When bombs fall in the night
Filling children, women, and men with fright
For their meager yet worthy lives
Apt to be cut short before their time,
Do you sympathize?

Tell me,

When the man on the street
With one hand and no feet
Shakes a half empty cup
Begging for your money to sup
On something more than handouts
At the local shelter,
Do you drop your high-held nose and also a few coins?

Tell me,

When the neighbor girl
Walks past your door
On a triple-digit summer day
In long sleeves and heavy pants,
Do you stiffen with concern
That mottled skin might lie beneath
Her carefully constructed facade?

Tell me,

How close to home
Must tragedy strike
Before your eyes
See humanity?

Must it be your best friend on drugs
Or your mother with her whiskey
Or your brother with his guns
Or your daughter with her cuts,
Or even yet all of them dead
Because of their sins and addictions
That kept them
From living instead of merely surviving
Until one day they threw in the towel
And now you can't follow.

Tell me,

What will it take?
For us to see humanity.
Alyanne Cooper Aug 2015
She held my hand
As I put the flowers on your grave.
And I didn't understand
How the wind kept whispering your name.

I stood up on that hill
Thinking of all the things we'd done.
Down my spine ran a chill,
Trying to face what I'd become.

No one ever said it'd be like a hurricane
Rushing through my veins.
I try to hold the tears back,
But they fall like rain
Washing my sins away.

*Washing our sins away.
Alyanne Cooper Aug 2015
You asked for gifts
Of candied treats
And fragrant flowers.
You asked for excursions
To experience the world
As you hadn't yet before.
You wanted my love
In a tangible way,
And I endeavored
To meet all your desires.
Yet though I shed
A more than fair share
Of blood, sweat, and tears
In my thirsty pursuit
Of keeping you content,
You still found me lacking.
And so sent me packing,
Heartbroken and confused
For weren't my efforts enough?
But love cannot be won
In such a shallow way.
I've learned that now from you.
And so when I tumble again
Head over heels,
I'll be sure to pause my hands
Before trying to work out some grand plan
Of winning love
That should be freely given
Rather than strivingly earned.
For what can my hands produce
In the name of love?
No, all I have left to give is myself:
My thoughts and opinions,
Both my ears for to listen
That I might respond,
To josh or to soothe,
Or to ponder and ruminate
In steady companionship,
For isn't a person better than things?
Things will decay and fade away.
Things will distract and their value subtract
From the moment love can share.
But love in its simplicity,
Love in its seeming paucity,
Love in its bland normalcy,
Is far more steady and sure.
And this is what will endure.
And so this is what I will give,
Not merely baubles and trinkets and trips,
But much more...just me.
Alyanne Cooper Aug 2015
She said,
"By the time you blink your eyes,
The year will have passed,
And you'll be home!"

I left with those words ringing in my ears.
I held to those words for three hundred days
And I chanted those words for sixty-five more.

Then just as she promised
With a blink of mine eyes
The months became a year
And thus I returned.

Little had I known
What she was really going to say
Was,
"Blink,
So you won't see me leave."
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