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Alyanne Cooper Aug 2015
Listless bones
And weary muscles
Flop on a floor-bound mattress.
Crooning tunes
And lilting bassoons
Flit on a fan-turned breeze.
Despite the heat
I find respite
In this brief pause
From reality.
Alyanne Cooper Aug 2015
I will never understand you.
And that's our great tragedy.
Alyanne Cooper Aug 2015
I* will take no prisoners.
I will leave none alive.
I will **** every soul that resists
And every one that doesn't.
I will keep my blade wet with blood
And my face dry of tears.
Sorrow and anguish and pain are gone,
For there are no emotions were Depression reigns.
There is only silence.

Black and white dreams
Streaked with stripes of red.
Sepia-toned visages of the dead.
And the symphony plays the most haunting melody:
Silence.

You said
"You should let me love you,"
But you have no idea
Of what loving me entails.

Loving me
*Means accepting the silence.
Alyanne Cooper Aug 2015
Her eyes refused to close.
Intent on the world around her.
His eyes refused to open.
Content with the peace sleep afforded.

His nose a button just like his mama's.
Her ear lobes detached just like her papa's.

My love poured through every pore
As my arms cradled these two new to life.
Heart-stopping gratitude and mirth
Overflowing at knowing one day
Their lips would part to utter "Auntie"
To me.

My family--
Not by blood
But by love.
This summer I had the profound privilege of becoming an aunt not just once but twice to a wonderful little boy and beautiful little girl whose families have opened their arms and made me one of their own.
Alyanne Cooper Aug 2015
The ache is old
And deep-seated
And cold
And numbing
And uncontrolled
And heavy
And bold.

It hits as if Thor's hammer is
Striking his enemies who have somehow
Taken up residence
In my heart.
And he must obliterate them.

I wish the doctors could find a way to fix this.
But it seems they are as lost as I.

So I greet this ache as I would Death:
An old friend,
Yet one I had hoped to be far less aquatinted with.

This ache is old,
As old as I.
And it always will be.
Alyanne Cooper Aug 2015
I go back
To the place that molded me
Shaped me into who I am today.
The trees are so much taller
And I stand before them
That much straighter.
The paint that stuck in my memory
Of faded white and grey-blue trim
Is fresh and spotless and perfect,
Like the mask I painted
On my own face in the mirror that morning.
The grass I spent countless childhood days
Mowing and trimming and ****-whacking
Is manicured by professionals now.
And a different girl sits on the roof
Making her own memories.
We stare at each other in silence
Committing the other's features to memory.
Then with the slightest of nods in her direction,
I'm turn on my heel and gone.
You see I've been lost for awhile now
In this world we all must make our home.
And I thought that maybe by going back
I'd find myself.
And I suppose I did, but really I didn't.
I wasn't there--
In those memories.
No, I found myself--
I was in the walking away.
Alyanne Cooper Jul 2015
One day my hands will hold a child
Whose eyes gleam with the same mischief
And humor and love yours did.

One day my ears will peel with
A laughter that hits my funny bone
Until I cannot help but chuckle along
As yours once caused me to do.

One my eyes will cast a long glance
At the panorama set before me
Of the landscape you created with your love.

And one day my heart will fill
With all the appropriate emotions
In response to what my life has become
Because of you.

Your mark on me runs deep,
Its grooves and etches seared into
The depths of my soul.
And though you may not have ever realized it,
I have carried you with me all these days
And will carry you for so many more.

You thought your part was small and passing;
You thought little of your role in my life's script:
Just a man at the park with his child
Running rambunctiously cross playgrounds.
Just a woman in the cafe with her friends
Recounting jovial anecdotes of single life.
Just a student walking across the university
Memorizing long past history facts for a test.
Just a human being seeing another in need
And acting quietly to help accordingly.
But you still left a mark, an impression,
On me.

I only hope I have left a similar one on you.
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