this poem
is not about you

even though
your spirit is in every word
your voice sounds strong
in the halls of my mind
telling me things
I am now sure
I want to know

this poem is
about me

trying to understand
you

Heal me
  Restore me with your Love
   Transform me from a seagull
     into a Dove

Roses adorned by its precious petals
Held still by the soil and stems
Where winter's snow slowly settles
And snowflakes fall like shards of gems.
Clustered clouds rain overhead
I fall to a fault merely at your sight
And the day that I'll be dead
Is the day that I no longer hold you tight.

The white rain that polishes and feeds the rose
Now pours to form a new seed
And though I suppose
That these words will bleed.
Bleed the love I held in my heart
The love that spawns a rose in the frozen
And though we might fall apart
You are the one I have always chosen

The first time you hear
"Beauty is pain"
Is when your mother is brushing tangles
Out of your hair
You're too young to care

The next time
Is when you're getting your hair done
For an event
Bobby pins everywhere
And this time it sticks

Your legs sting
After you shave them
For the first time
But you remind yourself
Beauty is pain
And go on with your day

You remind yourself again
As you pluck hairs
From your eyebrows
It helps you somehow

Beauty is pain
Your stomach growls
You haven't eaten
Because you want to be skinny
You want to be pretty

Beauty is pain
Is all you hear
When you walk into surgery
To change your face

Beauty is pain
Lingers in the back of your mind
When your boyfriend hits you
For the first time

One day you look in the mirror
All you see is pain
You wonder how it ended up this way

I want everything from you,
You want nothing from me.

I want you to be free,
From me.

But I'm imprisoned by who you used to be.

Now I'm left with nothing but what I used to see.

Blinded by the reality,

The clarity is the hardest thing.