Misunderstood.
Little girl that
Could
Not
Articulate her pain

Stained on her heart,
mediocrity and other's
hypocrisy

Stop and see
for a moment that her
naivete was stolen

Bolden your mind
time for a story,
you wore her down

She shut herself off
all because you scoff
at her pain

Rain is a reprieve from the
judgment you cast
At last,

when the moment is too late,
maybe you'll see
that you created her hate

she is not without cause,
pause and reflect
before you object

Misunderstood, little girl
who's only dream was to shine,
by and by she slowly dies

watch her decay at your
misguided guide
by and by she slowly dies

Misunderstood, little girl
who believed in love
now is wrung of any

positive light,
she's blight with sadness,
and insatiable madness.

Crass she may be,
she always wanted to see
if she could shine as bright
as she dreamed she could be

Misunderstood, little girl
by and by she slowly dies
without cause, without care
you scoff at her pain.

Rain is a reprieve from the judgment you cast.
By and by she slowly dies.
Misunderstood.
Lttle girl.

Restless leg syndrome
A hindrance on my being
Retching foam dribbles out
the side of my mouth
South it goes, down
to the ground.

Wound tight with salvia my
self-hatred flows in unity with it
The acidity of the bite bursts to flames
as the earth hits it

Worth every penny, I chuckle as
I chuck a bottle of pills into the
billfold of my coat.

"Won't this hurt?"
That's the point.
Right, back to the top

Restless leg syndrome
Catching on?
My mind can't contain one thought at a time
I spin on a dime, fine dining is the drug of
the millennial nines.
Hi! I'm super high today.

Just kidding, I'll never smoke ****
see me judging you in the corner?
I'm a straight laced, even paced
large tempered feminist *****.
Pitch me your best rich boy pitch
to get a date and maybe I won't chuck
your ***** into a ditch.

Hitch a ride down the road
Follow it now, down it goes!
Drop out quick!
Here comes the gun
run from it fast, till you reach the sun

Worship me or hate me, I don't really care.
Stare at me until you see who you wish
I actually was

t'was a sad story I read
when I found out you would be dead
by nine o'clock this evening

Did I tell you I plotted this reaping?
I peep in on your life from time to time
Crime is the center of my kind
Find me in the dark deep corners of
your mind, I'm always there
Seeing and watching but never debauching.

Have I mentioned I suffer from
restless leg syndrome?
It really is a hindrance on my being.

"Won't this hurt?", you ask
That's the point.
Right, back to the top

Ignorant, stupid girl.
Whirl away from feeling
anything deeper than the required
formal, reaping.

Plow forward without looking back
Stack your bones into place and race
to the finish.
Diminish in the desperation that is eating away
your entire, black soul.

Woefully, yearn to be away from the destruction
of your lack of a functioning heart.

Part ways with your stray, lame days
that tear into your skin

Sin until you change your outer appearance
Fear nothing unless it begs you to use emotion
Bludgeon doubt with a mighty fist
Wistfully break through the glass that is
encasing your cryptically fluid wallows

Give the dark permission to swallow
any good, light, bubbly thoughts
Be brought back to reality
snap back to gravity and laugh at me,
at you.

Stew your lack of identity to the core
let it bore you into a skeleton of who you once were before.
Furnish that dark, deep hole that you now inhabit

Stab it away, until you begin to decay
And rejoice at your last dying day!

The moment my eyes locked with his green depths, I wept.
I tried to hide my instant reaction to my extreme attraction but a fraction of a quiver coated my speech as I reached,
inconspicuously, to smooth out my jeans.

Sweat gleamed on my skin as the room started to spin beneath my feet.
I took a seat across from him, careful not to sit too close,
for I didn't want him to know how fast
my heart was beating beneath my clothes.

Woah, a spark started humming in my tummy, strumming a chord
that cut into my heart as deep as a double edged sword.
Breathy air bequeathed from my teeth as I held my ground.
Soundless beads of sweat zig zagged down my brow.

I frowned, "This is delusional", I thought to myself.
How many times have I been duped into thinking that
I could be even an inkling of what a man like him
dreams of and wants in a girl.

My churlish attitude certainly isn't intriguing.
I'm blight with below average height.
Freckles invade every inch of my skin.
Sinful words escape my lips as common as the air I breathe.
I seethe with anger, as if second nature.
I bicker with my sisters.
My hair is thin and flaccid.
I'm plastered with fake smiles
and encased in pallid, pale skin that sits grimly on my bones.
Groans are constantly escaping my throat as I complain.
I'm a grain of the being I once dreamt I could be.
I reek of desperation for some love or attention
that I've been seeking for since my contraception.

Yet, I still foolishly yearn for his mutual attraction.
There's an insolent fraction of hope that invades my heart and
fogs my smarts, blurring the truth.
**** my indiscretion is showing my youth.

So I do what I do best, I hide myself behind my wall.
I stall real conversation with humor, almost in a drunken stupor
I act as if I have nothing to offer.
For my offer is inadequate even to the loveless romantic.

I'm not a cynic, I'm a realist and realistically
I'm informed on the fact that I'm whacked in the mind
and my dissatisfying outer appearance does
little to make up for my complete unrefined kind.

So I grind away any chemistry I felt.
I've dealt with this before so I continue to implore myself
to forget his sea green stare, before I wear out my words
describing his full, pink lips that are rounded and firm.

Remember your place, you stupid, silly girl.
Hurl those sweet, tempting thoughts away for they are wrong.
You belong on the wall, holed up in the corner like swine,
to make way for those who are really meant to shine.

"Hypothetically,"  hypocrisy has become the new democracy.
Socrates once said "You must break free from society",
Admittedly, that is not a direct quote.

Woe, oh, no I do not believe in aligning my stars
with your sharp minded attitude that controls me from afar.
Hardships ahead suggest that you best let go of your
previously consumed ideals and feelings and repeal from
the concave society that begs us to encourage our propriety.

Sigh, it seems that this community of this city
is stuck in a trance and they do not wish to be disturbed.
Well I'm perturbed by that fact, yet I act like I understand
the zombie-like trance that has taken hold of all that are breathing,
Leaving only a few confounded by the monstrosity of this reaping.

Keep me here, away from the stagnant ailment that has
an arrant grip on the throats of the blokes that were
ignorant enough to believe that indiscretion.

True, it's become my obsession to call out all that is nonsensical.
It's apocalyptical! Their anonymity is frankly mystical.
Their words seem to be lathed with mechanical phrases and verbs,
again I'm perturbed and what's even worse, is I find myself intrigued by their complete lack of identity that I can't make sense of me.

See? It's a seductive prospect to attempt to project yourself into
that cult, but as a result all your visions of freedom will dither
and wither into nothingness.

Although, they're courteous enough to let you keep your vanity,
but the rest of you, all your thoughts of clean and lucid dreams, are
reamed from your mind, wound down to a soft and empty grind.

My, you really should ignite a morsel of self-respect to check out
of this direct fog that is hogging any last bit of intellect.
Dissect one thought from the other and then you'll wonder
how to crawl out of this ignorant hole that has
swallowed you down, consuming your soul.

Pull yourself away from their depreciating ways.
Reintroduce yourself to free will and thoughts
so you can be brought back to life and maybe even have
a deeply un-contrived and well-thought about thought.

Be wise, snap back into reality and let gravity do it's job.
Throb goes your heart.
Did you feel that? That puncture in your chest?
It's doing it's best to let you know that you're alive,
high with breath on your tongue and in your lungs,
Filled to the seams, light beams from your fingers.

Do not linger, here in this moment, rush to the surface
and escape the airless lies that are encrusting your soul.
Pull yourself up to the surface and allow yourself to be woken.

Broken you may be, but you can be renewed if you give yourself
permission to control your own admission.
So permise it and recommit to standing on your own two feet
and weep with joy at your eternal freedom.

This is where I leave you.
Alone with your lonesome self...
Relish in your new-found magnum opus,
let it give you focus to hone in on your blooming
and lucid, conscious brewing.

Keep it stewing.
Stirring to formalize your new ignition,
no longer is this a road to your perdition.
Ridden your thoughts, let your conformity rot
and let that *** stew all of your now, new
delectable thoughts.

Pink wisps
      thin, like cotton candy,
f
l
o
a
t

softly around my skin.

I         s           n
             p    i  

under the expansive, lucid
sky.
    


S     i    g   h.



Air flows in and from
     my  lungs.

Hung in the depth of the horizon
sits a mountainous,
golden
               sun.

I run (run, run and run),
            quick to catch a lick
   of the warmth

into my mouth so it

f
i
l
l
s

me
      
to the seams.

Light      b     e     a    m    s
from my f
                    i
                       n
                           g
                               e
                                  r
                           ­          s
Yellow air lingers
on
my tongue.

I           t                   l
               w          r
                       i
'til
I am

             unstrung.

Lunge! Forward and fast,
Make this
f
   a
d
   i
n
   g
moment     l     a     s    t.

Past the horizon,

the
sun

s
i
n
k
s

low to edge of the ground.
   
    I found
my meaning
in       the      gleaming
              l i  g h t
that beats so   b r i g h t.

I use all of my height to jump and grasp

the last pink wisp
    that kiss(es) my lips.

"'Til tomorrow",

I whisper to the now
dark sky.

I'll keep my head held
up
     high,

             for this this just a temporary

"goodbye".

Someone please validate my feelings for me,
I'm so confused at what I want that my entire body
and mind ache with the anticipation of my decision
I cannot seem to be ridden of this grip you have on my soul.

Pull me back down to earth, give me a push to face
My indecision; abdication will be the death of me
I cannot bare to place pain on your face yet
My heart is yearning for a brand, new start.

Can I part from your warm, gentle arms?
That heat me up when I'm frozen to the core,
We swore we would always be one
But I can't help but think our love has become undone.

Can you ever forgive me if I part?
I know the answer is no, so this will become our ending
Surprising, I'm selfish enough to keep you for myself
Instead of setting us free to be who we ought to be.

You put forth so much effort to save us from our demise,
Honestly it just makes me cry at what we could've been,
It's a sin that I'm leading you forward,
but my vision is blurred from all the tears I have shed.

Instead, I look into those eyes and silently whisper my goodbyes,
because I know it's time for me to part from this disguise
That I'm trying to uphold; hold my hand one last time
Always remember you were my prime, love of this lifetime.