The sun was shining that day, on that fateful afternoon
A perfect specimen of green and flowers full in bloom
Walk the path to the other side, to the forest dark and dreary
Along the pond of empty souls, who scream of horrific pain and furry
They will tell you the story of that fateful afternoon
The one where the life of an innocent ended way too soon
Hand in hand with a lover, eyes covered for surprise
She drunkenly stumbled over twigs and the thickness of her lies
To the middle of the darkness, where no one could hear a sound
She knew it would be years, if ever, before her body would be found
She sat her down on a stump and tied her hands and feet
Than whispered in her ear the secrets of her lies and deceit
She told her in unimaginable detail what she had been up to
The last year and a half of their relationship
All the other women and the *****
She told her how she did it in their bed with her fast asleep right by their side
Then cut a deep straight line from her rib cage to her lower intestine
She then proceeded to continue with her story, as she stitched her back together
How she had been ******* her best friend when she had said she’d stay forever
She then walked over to her bag and dug out another knife
She had no intention of quickly ending her life
She started with her back
She ran the blade straight down
Then laughed menacingly as her skin and blood fell to the ground
She tried to scream but all that came was a small yelp
A tiny little innocent thing begging for someone’s help
Through the bushes came a woman, followed by another over time
They all came to watch her end it
To play their part in the crime
To cut her up piece by piece and put on a show
Naked, ****** and bare she rose for one last blow
As she dug her hand into her chest, her love for her grew founder
She squeezed her heart as tight as she could
Until it pumped no longer
Then left her on the ground to be picked apart
She took what was left of her love, when she ripped out her heart
So as the years passed by and her hatred for humanity grew
She took on the shape of the forest killing anyone who came through
Collecting their souls in the pond filled with her blood
Hiding their bodies in the deep and filthy mud
They are the ones who speak to you of this tragedy ever so true
Be careful not to listen to long though…
Because they will come for you.

They say I have a melancholy cloud around me.
They say they see the teeth marks that it leaves, the blue marks around my neck, the black marks around my eyes.
But I don’t mind.
Wounds heal in good time, on the outside at least.
So I tuck my cloud in deeper so that they cannot see this darkness that is becoming me.
It's amazing the things we write about when we think no one is listening.

There's this pain inside of me, much worse than my mother ever warned me about.
It’s the kind of hurt that leaves you sick to your stomach, paralyzed from the neck down.
I feel it becoming a part of me.
Every time I think it's lost my trail it sideswipes me, knocking me to the ground, bruising my knees.
I fear no matter how far I run I'll never shake this feeling.
That gut wrenching ache.
That devastating realization that no matter how hard I pretend, I am not okay.

I looked into your eyes and I knew that it was time.
I reached out to touch your heart but found it was missing.
It was time for me to say goodbye.
I knew I needed to let you go.
I needed to walk out with my head held high.
I had been chasing your for miles and miles, with no respite.
And when I looked into your eyes, I could no longer see that light.
I am scared to let you go but deep down I do know that it’s time.
Isn’t it?
I fear there is nothing I can do to change your habits of flight.
And I know that to ask you to stay is not right.
Deep down I know I cannot keep you, for you are not mine.
I lost your heart long ago, but I ignored every sign.
There’s nothing I can do to change your mind.
I fear that it is time, my dear…
I wish I was the one who held your heart.
I wish I’d loved you better.
I wish I could have kept us from drifting apart.
I will love you my whole life.
I will search for you again.
But the life we have now is filled with strife.
I fear it has come to an end.
I think we could make it, if we both tried.
But your heart belongs to her.
I am not the one whom you want by your side.
So how do you move on when you don’t want to let go?
How do you cope with what you already know?
How do you say goodbye…when you only ever want to say hello?
What if we could actually make it and I gave up too soon?
What if I needed to wait till midnight…but it was only noon?
A love that started so feverishly is ending in lackluster.
One last I love you is all that I can muster.
I’m giving up what hurts me the most and brought me so much joy.
But I cannot fight this battle.
I have nothing left to deploy.
I cannot fight a battle that I know that I will lose.
I know I’m not the one you want.
I know if given the choice I would not be the one that you will choose.

Maybe it's not the nightmares keeping you awake.
Maybe it’s the memories of her smile.
Maybe it’s the way she made you feel, or maybe its just the loneliness that’s gets inside your head.
But you have to let go if you want to heal.

I watched you walk out the door, my heart in hand
Off to another town, to another woman's house
And I know you won't be home tonight but I’ll stay up anyway
In case you come around
In case you need something
I’ll always be here for you
No matter the circumstance
I made a promise to protect you
And I never break a promise

Time is running out
The clock is ticking fast
Tick tick tick
A time bomb waiting to implode
I’m just buying time
Until the hour glass has dropped its last grain of sand
No more turning it right side up and starting all over again
I don’t know how to fake it anymore
Pretend when the seasons change that she’s not on your mind
It’s spring again
The mania has returned
And I won’t stay this time
I won’t wait for the fall to come
For you to realize once again that you’ve made a mistake
Just when I think it’s over, you pull the box out again
I’ve tried to bolt it shut
I kept the key around my neck
You snuck in last night and stole it
When I woke up it was all over the floor
A picture of her flutters down
You pick it up and speak to her
You lie and say nothing was said
It’s just a secret between you and yourself
And you think if you only speak to her in your mind that it will stay that way
I’ve tried to Cauterize the wounds but you open them again and again
Leaving bigger scars than the time before
You look at me and say it’s done
Your secrets still on your breath
No matter what I do she’ll always be there
Right behind me
Breathing down my neck
— AJ Bell blogbatsinthebelfrylove